Bittersweet Memories
Harry flooded his mind. It was like old films being played in his mind's eye. Harry smiling, Harry laughing. It was torture. Tears prickled Draco's closed eyes which he squeezed tighter. No. He would not cry. He wouldn't...
What had happened was painstakingly obvious. Pictures had been torn from the walls in an angry fit; slithers of the photos still remained, clinging to the wall in sheer desperation. A bin that had once held parchment waste, now contained black ashes of the pictures, pieces still remained, showing the moving figure of a tall, dark haired man, he was smiling, laughing, and then he moved out of view. At the side of the bin were letters. All hand-written, all signed off with love.
Draco curled over into a tight ball, pulling his knees to his chin. His eyes glanced down to the letters. He read the visible part once again:
"I can't do this anymore. I still want you, but you're not good for me. We've gotten so complicated. I'm supposed to be in heaven with you, but sometimes it feels like hell."
Tears rolled down his cheeks. A sob built inside him, which he forced back down. Not again. He wasn't going to let this break him down. People broke up all the time, people got over it. He would do the same.
He rolled over, facing away from the bin and the letters. He closed his eyes, the film starting up again.
"Hey Draco!" Harry yelled, aiming a snowball at him and laughing when it hit him square in the chest. Draco pouted, having already been freezing, the snowball added to his body temperature decrease...
"I love you…" Harry's husky voice whispered into Draco's ear. Draco's eyes flashed open, looking around for Harry. But, as always, he was alone. It had sounded like Harry was there, it was so real. Draco curled into a tighter ball, closing his eyes once more.
..."You and me, forever." Draco murmured to Harry. Harry nodded, placing a gentle kiss on Draco's lips. "Forever." He replied. Draco smiled, nuzzling into Harry's neck and fell asleep, the gentle smile still on his lips...
...The film flashed back...
...The day of the war. His mother searching for him… Draco searching for Harry. Asking people where he was, if they had seen him. He was frantic. If anything had happened to Harry he would be destroyed. He would never see him smile again, never see those piercing green eyes light up with an idea. He would never tell him how he truly felt...
..."Say it again." Draco demanded. "Draco Malfoy, I love you." Harry said, a blush colouring his cheeks. "And I love you." Draco whispered, hardly able to keep the huge grin off his face...
...Harry's voice rang through his ears. "I don't want this anymore..." The tears that had threatened to overcome Draco completely, now did. The memory stabbed him in the heart, piercing it with no sign of stopping. How did people get over losing the one person they thought cared the most? He'd questioned Harry's judgement; asked him why he couldn't continue but for the responses he got, he may as well have been talking to himself...
In the moment of emotion, Draco picked up a quill and a piece of parchment and scribbled a note:
"Harry – We need to talk. Meet me outside my apartment "
He attached the note to the leg of his handsome barn owl, and watched it fly away and eagerly waited for his reply.
An owl hooted, it was perched on the edge of Draco's bed. He'd fallen asleep. He sat up and rubbed his eyes blearily. He took the note from the bird, scanning over it.
"I'll be there in 5 minutes. –H.P"
God knows how long the owl had been sat there, it could have been 2 minutes or 2 hours. Draco flew up out off bed, and jogged over to his door. He yanked it open seeing if Harry was there or for any sign that he had been.
Nothing.
He closed the door shutting it softly and sighing. It was silly getting his hopes up. He shuffled sadly back into his bedroom. Instead of throwing himself onto his bed, he pulled the duvet off and dragged it with him to the corner of the room and huddled under it. His eyes closed. Instead of the film playing, nothing happened. He saw blackness.
"Draco.." Harry's voice whispered out. "Draco.. I'm here. I came." Draco was not going to be fooled twice. "No.. You didn't. You never will." He whispered to himself.
No one responded. Draco's mind was fabricating Harry's voice again. It was another memory he realised. It was when they had met in the owlery after the war...
..."Draco." Harry had said. "Draco, I'm here. I came." At this point Draco had run into Harry's shocked arms. "I...I love you." Draco had admitted. Harry's heartbeat had accelerated; Draco had been able to hear it. He panicked. "You don't feel the same." It wasn't a question, but a statement. "You're wrong." Harry whispered. "I just wanted to say it first."...
Tears now streamed freely down Draco's face. All he wanted was Harry, and all he couldn't have, was Harry.
..."I want you. I always will. But don't you see? –This- is going no where!" Harry started to raise his voice. What he was trying to say clearly wasn't sinking in...
..."You lied to me." Draco's voice cracked. "You held me in your arms and said that nothing would ever break us apart! You lied!" Emotion shattered through every syllable as he struggled to fight back the tears stinging his eyes. "Burn everything. Everything that has anything to do with me. If this over, we're doing it properly."...