A/N: All my non-explicit Aoshi and/or Misao drabbles will go here, so feel free to check back for more. I cannot guarantee coherence, but I can definitely guarantee silliness.
Chapter One: JCB
This bit of AU, desperately OOC ridiculousness will likely make 0 sense whatsoever to anyone outside the U.S. or Canada. PM me if you're desperate for an explanation. Dedicated to my BFF and Japanese historical/cultural consultant, jai on LiveJournal.
Disclaimer: I do not own any any of the characters used in my fanfiction, nor profit from my work. Bath & Body Works' Japanese Cherry Blossom does not belong to me, other than a pretty little bottle of EDT on my dresser. I have not profited from the use of the likeness of either Bath & Body Works or Japanese Cherry Blossom used in this work.
(Soft, sensual music, a peculiar blend of the saxophone and the shamisen, plays. A background of shimmering, crimson-red silk ripples slightly, as though caught by a spring breeze. Suddenly, a cascade of pure white cherry blossoms tumbles down as if carelessly spilled, forming into shimmering, silvery-white text.)
This autumn...
(Some of the tiny white flowers tumble down further, then seem to be glowing, almost incandescent, against golden skin. As the camera pans out, we see the skin belongs to the sleek but muscular chest of a man, pocked and streaked by some impressive battle scars. One nipple is off-camera, the other demurely hidden by a snowy blossom as if by coincidence.)
Unleash your passion...
(The camera pans up to reveal Aoshi's face. His hair is tousled into a sexy onyx mess, shimmering with ethereal red highlights. His ordinarily hard-lined mouth is softened into a sleepy pout. As his long, coal-black lashes lift, we see that the usually icy eyes are warm, deep sapphire with…desire?)
And his.
(Aoshi shoots the camera a smoldering look, masterfully translating all his warrior's ki into "Come get some, ladies.")
(The red silk background appears again, and the remaining flowers transform into a perfume bottle of red frosted glass decorated with clear vines, black flowers, and a black and silver cap. Elegant white script winds across the screen.)
You know where to get some…
(The saxophone/shamisen music abruptly ends with the sound of a record screeching to a halt as a crowd of females, ranging from preteen girls all the way up to senior citizens, descends screaming upon a store with a red and white-striped awning. In the cloud of dust left by their estrogen-driven stampede, a very elderly woman in a polyester dress and orthotic shoes hobbles desperately towards the door.)
(The music starts again, followed by a rain of tiny white petals. A feminine screeching is heard.)
"Oh, Aoshi-sama!"