So I did this as a challenge fic for Legends of Cerebro. Check it out folks. I wrote this from Deadpool's PoV so it may be a bit confusing but entertaining, just like the merc himself. So please feel free to read and review. Thanks everyone.
Ok, she'll be coming into the kitchen any moment. I mean she has to eat right? {She's a goddess. Maybe she doesn't eat} (Are we still trying to find out if that's just a rumor or truth? Can't decide on the decision to decide on the decision yet.) I'll just play it cool, cooler than cool even... Wonder how I should ask her out. {How about asking her to reach into your pocket?} (Yeah, like that won't get a lighting bolt up your ass.) {I wondered if her bolts have a tingly feeling... Only one way to find out. Just saying.} What if she says no? I mean I can heal from anything. (We know. Remember when you asked Betsy if the carpet matched the drapes? OUCHIES! Wonder if 'Ro's carpet matches her drapes. Hmm...) {Did... Did you just say ouchies?} (Don't judge me.) But if she says no... I've been been let down many a times by many a people but this would hurt pretty damn hard. Ouchies... {Ouchies indeed.} (Oh, here she comes!) {Go get her tiger! Grrrl!} Quiet it down fellas! I got to concentrate!
"Uh, hey 'Ro."
She flips her hair over her shoulder as she opens the fridge door and smiles at me. She's one of the few that doesn't look at me like the mental case I really am. My eyes can't help by skim her over as she stands in a thin tank top and cut off jean shorts that are so tight if she were a guy I could tell which religion she was. {Schwing! Daddy likes!} Be still thy throbbing... Heart. What else would be throbbing? Get your mind out of the gutter! (It's always in the gutter. It took up a permanent residency there!)
"Hello, Wade."
She knows my name! (Of course she does. We've only been following her around for weeks now.)
"Uh, um... I was... erm, I was hoping me and you... uhhh."
Her lips curl up as she looks at me. "Wade," she cuts off my stammering. Yeah that's it, cooler than cool right? I'm the Merc with the Mouth yet here I am mumbling.
"I was just about to pop some pop corn and watch a movie. Would you like to join me?"
YES! "Sure, I didn't have many plans tonight and I'm practically a professional movie critic. My favorite movie is 'Ernest Goes to Jail' after all."
Bright blue eyes roll as she laughs softly. She laughed! {It's probably a pity laugh. She probably invited you to watch a movie with her out of pity too.} (Maybe we'll get pity sex because pity sex is better than no sex.) Agreed. {You need to stop watching so much porn.} Well I'm watching a legit movie with 'Ro. That beats beating one out to Sophie Dee any night.