It was an uncomfortable position. To be caught between the future and the past, stuck exactly where you don't want to be, watching everyone get by far easier than you. Norman felt that cold press of expectation every day. He worked not to think about it and pretended to be content in the moments where it was required of him.
Sometimes, he didn't really have to pretend and those were the moments he enjoyed the most. Today, he found one of those fleeting seconds in the form of early afternoon silence and Bradley's warm touch rubbing up and down his ribs. He glanced down at her, his eyes shimmering in the steady rays of sunlight peeking through the shades. "I'm glad you came over."
She gave him a smile. "I am, too."
He wanted to say more. That he would miss her, that he cared about her, that he thought about her constantly. The words stuck in his throat as she moved away from him. Norman felt a chill attack his nerves and wanted to throw himself at her again. He resisted, but only because his phone rang from the bedside table.
"Hey, Dylan. This better be important." He watched Bradley walk toward the window, all bare skin and slow motion torture.
"Van and I need you to pick up Dani from school."
Children. Hundreds of children. It sounded like Hell and Norman wasn't quite ready to be sent there yet. "No."
"Come on, Norman. You know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."
"Have Mom do it."
"She's working all day cause Emma's in the hospital."
Damn it. "Why should I?"
"Because I asked nicely, little brother. Please."
"Does the school have my name so they know I'm not kidnapping her?" Bradley came back toward the bed and watched him curiously, one hand over his.
"Of course, Norman."
"All right, I'll do it."
"Thank you."
He hung up before Dylan could say anymore and pulled Bradley into his arms. She squealed at the impact and Norman had to laugh. She warmed him in ways few other people could. "Who was that?" She asked.
"My brother. I have to go get my niece at school."
"Right now?"
He dropped his face to her neck and ran his hands down her sides. "An hour or so. She's in after care."
"You never told me you have a niece."
"It didn't seem important."
"Why not?"
The room shifted around him in sections, forcing him to take a second to calm himself. "My family is complicated. And I love my brother and my niece – I honestly do – but that part of my life is a sore spot."
"Okay, Norman." It was a whisper on his skin. "I have to go."
"Fine. See you tomorrow?"
"You never know."
The school was strangely quiet. Unsettled, Norman shoved his hands in his pockets and headed for the last classroom on the left. The word 'science' was etched into a nameplate that hung proudly. Norman fought off a sardonic chuckle and went in, only to be immediately swallowed by the noise of cartoons and rowdy children. There was only one other adult; she sat at the desk at the front, her eyes busy on a book. Norman observed her while she pushed her glasses up her nose and readjusted the edges of her skirt.
He cleared his throat awkwardly, though she hadn't caught him and though the children were uninterested in his presence.
She looked up, startled. An effortless grin slid into place, dazzling Norman and keeping him glued to his spot a few feet from her. "Can I help you?"
"Yeah. I'm Norman Bates. I'm here to pick up my niece."
"Uncle Norman!" She charged for his legs from the other side of the room. Norman groaned playfully at the collision, his giddy smile trained on the teacher, who shook her head in bemusement.
"Seems like she found you."
"Seems that way." He bent down to lift the little girl into his arms. She rested her head underneath his chin and relaxed. Ever since she'd been a baby, Norman had had the magic touch. "Hey, short stuff. Did you have fun?"
"Yeah!"
"Good." He gave the woman his attention again, trying not to seem too obvious in his attraction. "Well, thank you, Mrs…"
"Ms. Calhoun." She took his offered hand and ducked her head just slightly. "And you're very welcome, Mr. Bates."
Was she…nervous? Impossible. He should've been the nervous one, considering how earth shatteringly beautiful she was with her striking blue eyes and slim figure and tight pencil skirt. "It was nice to meet you."
"You, too. Have a nice day. Bye, Dani."
"Bye, Ms. Calhoun!"
He was disheveled, to be sure and a bit uneven, but there was a softness to him that she was immediately attracted to. A kind baby face that the scruff only kind of alleviated. And the way he was with Dani? Norma could only see familiarity and deep affection there; that girl loved him and Norma trusted a child's judgment above all else. They were like animals in their ability to sense the goodness in people. So, yes, Norman was a bit rough around the edges, with his tattered jeans and black t-shirt and messy hair, but she felt a desire to understand that visible hopelessness and resignation.
She wanted to see him again. She just wasn't sure how to go about making that happen.
"So, that's your teacher, huh?"
Dani nodded vehemently and continued to bounce along to the teenybopper song on the radio.
Norman kept going, figuring this would be his only chance to extract details. "You like her?"
"Yeah. She's nice."
"That's good. Is she quiet or what?"
"She's really fun."
Norman felt the urge to bang his head against the steering wheel. What the hell was he doing asking a five year old these questions? There had to be a way to find out more about this woman without having to go back to that school. Then again, he didn't even know her first name. Damn it.
Dylan saw right through him, of course. "You actually want to pick her up now?"
"Of course I do. She's my niece."
"That's not what you said…" His eyes narrowed and Norman squirmed from where he stood leaning against the kitchen counter. "Hold on a second. You met Ms. Calhoun, didn't you?"
Norman lost his brother's gaze, completely giving himself away.
"Jesus Christ, Norman."
"What? She gave me signals, Dylan. I can't just…"
"She's twice your age!"
He shrugged. "It's like I couldn't stand to learn a few things."
"You're unbelievable."
"I'm not." Norman sighed. "Look, I just need one more day and then I promise I won't use Dani to get close to her again."
"If Van finds out about this, she'll kill you."
"Trust me, brother, it's worth the risk."
"I don't want any part in this. At all." His scrutiny grew sharper. "This is why Dad was the way he was with you. You have such terrible impulses."
Norman blanched and felt his veins constrict with the utter strength of his anger. "That man beat the shit out of me for years but thanks for making it seem deserved. I appreciate it."
"Norman, wait. That's not what I meant."
"Shut up, Dylan. All I want is to know this woman a little better. Who knows, maybe it'll turn out to be a good thing. God forbid I'm allowed to be happy."
"You are, Norman. You are. Just…"
"Just what?"
"All right, Norman. All right. You can pick up Dani tomorrow."
"Thank you."
There were scars. Plenty of them. Some visible, some just under the surface of his skin, burning and sinister. He knew he needed help, someone he could talk to seriously about it but he was scared, so fricking scared of what would be revealed. It was impossible to reconcile the fear and the desperation. He tried every day.
The liquor store loomed in front of him, right alongside the temptation to drown himself in it and never come back up for air.
He couldn't fight it; not now, not ever. He tapped on the steering wheel in a loose, uneven rhythm in an effort to fight off the urge. That is, until he caught sight of a familiar figure heading toward the store.
The sight made him jump from his car. "Ms. Calhoun!"
She spun on her heel and fixed him with a questioning gaze. Then, a smile broke across his face. "Mr. Bates, how are you? Did you get Dani home okay?"
"Yes, of course. And call me Norman, please."
"Well then, Norman, it's nice to meet you. I'm Norma."
He chuckled. "Really? That's…"
"Kismet."
"Kismet?"
The corner of her mouth ticked up. "Fate."
"I can't believe we've never met before. Especially if you frequent this particular establishment."
Something changed in her face and Norman almost mistook it for judgment. After a second, he realized she seemed more thoughtful than anything. "Your brother told me about your habit. I was hoping I'd run into you here."
"My brother? He called you?"
"I called him. I have his cell number at the school."
"Isn't that a breach of protocol?"
"Not if you don't tell on me. Are you a tattletale, Mr. Bates?"
His insides squirmed and his heart skipped a beat. "Not often."
"Well, I hope your lips are sealed on this one."
"Only if you have a cup of coffee with me."
"Deal."
She took three sugars in her coffee and a hell of a lot of cream. Norman took careful note of it, watching her delicate fingers tear at those pink packets, her teeth tight on her bottom lip in concentration. There was a single piece of blonde hair hanging over her face and Norman studied the way it swayed in and out of her line of vision.
He folded his hands on the tabletop and squeezed. Trepidation gnawed at his nerves without mercy. "So, what else has my brother told you?"
"He told me you have trouble with feelings."
"He isn't wrong."
Norma stared at him hard for a long, long moment. "There's something about you, Norman. A kindness that doesn't exist in most people. You're just too afraid to show it."
"What are you? A psychologist?"
"No. I'm just observant. And you're an open book whether you like it or not." She took a long sip from her mug and eyed him over its edge. Norman had to look away. "For example, Dani's excitement and surprise at seeing you today made it pretty clear that you're avoiding getting too close to her. Why is that?"
He swallowed the desire to verbally tear her to shreds and answered the question in a shaky, broken voice. "I don't have the greatest history with my family, but I love that little girl. I just don't want her to know what's happened to me because of her grandparents and her father."
"You're protecting her."
"Yes. My damage…she doesn't deserve that."
Norma's face softened into melancholy. "She loves you, Norman. You can't take out your pain on her."
"I know that! You think I don't know that?!"
She recoiled like he'd slapped her as the patrons in the café turned to look in their direction. Norman breathed out. "I'm sorry, Norma. I just didn't realize this date would turn out to be you psychoanalyzing me."
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just want to get to know you."
He scoffed. "Then ask normal questions, doctor."
A cute little laugh bubbled out of her. "My dad was a psychologist. It's a force of habit."
"I see. What about your mom?"
"She was a baker. Had a shop below our apartment."
His mind whirled at the image of Norma being content with her loving parents. He felt a pang of bitterness and sorrow. "Any siblings?"
"I had a brother, but he died when I was fifteen."
"Norma, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. It's an old wound."
"Old wound." The heat from his mug soothed his fraying nerves. "I know all about those. So…you ever been married, Norma Calhoun?"
She glanced toward the door, her eyes glazed in memory. "Once. It didn't work out. What about you? Girlfriend?"
"Not quite."
"What does that mean, Mr. Cryptic?"
"She and I aren't serious."
"Why am I not surprised?"
"I don't know, doc. Why don't you tell me?"
Her laugh was absolutely infectious and Norman basked in it. It lightened the weight on his chest. Something in him sank when she came out of her glee to check her watch. "It's getting late. I have school tomorrow."
"What do you teach, anyway?"
"It's kindergarten. I teach a little bit of everything."
"It's been awhile since I've been in kindergarten, Ms. Calhoun. I'm sure I've forgotten most of those lessons."
Her lips split to show her teeth. "Cute."
"Does that mean I can go back to school?"
"Absolutely."