Every time Lovino closes his eyes, he sees it again.
"Feliciano!"
And every time, he knows that he's powerless to do anything, to change anything, because what's done is done and wishing on a star or something equally stupid only makes things worse.
"Hurry up, idiota!"
He doesn't want to remember. He has to, though, and it's stupid things that cause it. Gravel and raindrops and getting pencil shavings over his shirt, all everyday occurrences that make his vision go blurry and his hands start shaking.
"Sorry, Lovi~!"
It's all stupid, little things like that. Apologies and burning pasta and a clearly defined absence sitting next to him, because one moment Feliciano was alive and well and laughing, and the next he was just… not.
"Feliciano!"
He used to laugh at horror movies, mocking the idiots running away from a ghost that couldn't even touch solid objects. Now, though? He's horribly, secretly jealous because those people are only haunted once. Lovino's haunted twice – once by the ghost that actually is his brother, and again by the ghost of who Feliciano should have got to be.
"Hurry up, idiota!"
He blinks, the rain falls, his brother disappears before it even hits the ground. He's scared that one day he'll open his eyes and Feliciano will truly be gone, and he doesn't know how he'll feel then.
"Feliciano!"
He blinks, the rain falls, and so it continues. A vicious cycle that he's desperately clinging to, because what does he have left if he lets go?