Always

Suspended. Immobilized. Frozen.

I'm so sorry.

Your words haunt me. They invade my thoughts and dreams. As does your face, your voice, you. Even after all these years, I can't escape you. I don't want to escape you. I want to remember you. Every word, every smile, every look. I want to remember, always.

I come here often to gaze at you and for a few hours the world stops turning and everything disappears, until only you and I remain. I cherish the time I spend here above all else. This is where I'm home. This is where I'm free. You stand on your pedestal, glorified. You transcend time and space. Even as the world twists, burns, howls, breaks apart - there you still stand. Untouched. Peaceful. Always. You aren't like anything I've ever seen before, you just are and everything else pales in comparison.

Lucrecia.

How much have you sacrificed?

How much was worth it?

My heart is frozen. It stopped beating the day you were...taken. And now it resides within you. Your light keeps it from withering away. You keep me from disappearing into the darkness. Without you, nothing else remains. Without you, I cease to exist.

I get up to leave. Time to go back to the real world. Time to help stop some other horror from taking place. Time to leave home. I walk halfway and -

I'm so sorry.

Again those words.

"No Lucrecia." I turn around, force myself to look at you once more. It is I that should apologize. It is I that should grovel, beg for forgiveness. I swore to protect you. And I failed. You shouldn't be apologizing. You did what you had to do. You saved me in the end. It is because of you that I'm able to draw breath. It is because of you that I was given a second chance. My gaze picks out your every detail, transfixing the image in my mind. Never want to forget. Remember, always.

"I'm so sorry." I say the words that I've been stubbornly keeping inside for so long. I mean them a thousand times more than you will ever realize. Please understand.

I wait for a response. Nothing.

It's getting late. The others will be wondering where I am. There's a battle to be fought. I must go now. I will be back again the next night. And the night after that. Again and again. Always. I begin to walk once more then I hear you, sense you.

It's not your fault.

That makes it easier somewhat. But tell me, are sins ever forgiven?