In a perfect society there would be no anger or pain, yet there are both. I have spent my entire life trying to resist societal norms. I never meant to hurt Wilson. Inconvenience him maybe but never hurt him. I should have been me. I know that. I told her that, yet I am alive and Amber's dead. Nothing I do will make that okay.
I wonder why she chose to follow me on to the bus. I know that was handing me my cane, but why? Then again if she hadn't been taking those damn pills maybe she wouldn't have died, but she was coming after me. I chose to try and drink myself into oblivion.
In the end it comes down to our choices. I chose to drink, call Wilson's and to get on the bus. She chose to come down, follow me onto the bus and take those pills. If only one of us had chosen differently, then maybe Wilson wouldn't look at me like he does, he would talk we would laugh, we'd be best friends again.
Now all I have to life with is Cuddy and my choices.