Another cute little short story before Volume 5 begins. This one has some Drake and Budder bonding time, which I'm sure you all wanted to see. I wanted to show more of their personalities, and the kind of family bond they have formed since volume 4. I hope you like this one. Volume 5 begins shortly. Please review, everypony.
"Whatcha doin' bubby?" My sister asked, plopping down in a chair next to mine at our dining table. I lowered the stack of papers I'd been studying for two hours.
"Eh...just a little side job for somepony." I replied.
"A new case?" She asked. "Can I help?"
"Hey...just cause I took you on that one murder case doesn't mean you're part of my team or something, sis. You're still too young to be a detective." Budder sighed forlornly. "I'm trying to teach you some of this stuff so you can help out when you get older."
"I know..." My sister replied. She got up and went to the refrigerator. Budder poured herself a glass of chocolate milk as I looked over a few more details on the papers.
"Besides..." I continued. "This isn't really a...case, per se. I'm kinda figuring out something for a friend."
"Who?" Budder asked, sitting down beside me again, drinking her milk.
"Just...a friend..." I answered.
"Shackleford?"
"No." I said, trying to figure out the perplexing problem presented to me by my employer.
"Celestia?"
"No..."
"Then who?"
"Ugh! Geez, sis...it's Luna, okay?" I shot back.
"Heheh. I like Luna." Budder commented. "She's pretty cool."
"I know. I think she's a bit more...approachable than her sister. Not as..." I straightened up in my chair and took on a snooty demeanor. "...regal. Heheh. Don't tell Celestia I said that."
"Kay." Budder grinned. "Oh bub...remember when we visited her after the whole diamond thingy?"
"Yeah?"
"And she gave you that painting she did, and told you to come visit her some time?"
"Uh-huh." I droned, trying to concentrate on my work.
"And she had you autograph that book you wrote?"
"Yep."
"Heehee. I think she likes you." My sister giggled. I lowered the papers and stared out into space for a moment. I let out an exasperated sigh.
"I know...she thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Secret admirer stuff...ugh...don't tell Dashie..."
"Eheheheh." Budder giggled. She pretended to zip her mouth shut. "So what's she want you to do?"
"Well, it's kind of a legal problem. For some reason, she wants my opinion on whether or not the act in question is really an illegal act."
"Huh?"
"Well, one of her guards was off-duty, and took to drinking something a little stronger than his mental faculties and common sense could take. When he came back to his barracks feeling his oats, he decided that he was going to take some paint and doodle a butterfly on his bunk-mate's face and write 'Fairy' on his flank. When his friend woke up the next morning, he called the idiot out on it, and gave him a thorough tongue-lashing. The guard was suffering from an awful hangover, and started cussing and blaggarding the...victim. The victim threatened to..." I read the statement and snickered. "He threatened to shove the other pony into the local cesspit head-first and beat him senseless with his own helmet. At that, the hung-over guard threw his helmet at the victim. Now...Luna has the guard locked up, and she isn't quite sure what to do in this particular situation, seeing as her guards are usually well-disciplined and well-behaved. The question is if his act was a case of Malum in se or a case of Malum Prohibitum."
"Mallet in pro..." Budder tried to repeat.
"Means was it that he did something that was just wrong morally, or was it really a crime." I explained.
"Oh." My sister said. "So what do you think?"
"Other than the fact that I think he was a complete jack-leg, I can't find any law stating that a royal guard can't get drunk. As long as he didn't actually hurt somepony, what he did was basically a case of drunk and disorderly conduct. He did commit an act of assault on the other pony though..." I looked through the papers. "It's kind of a pickle...He's a good guard, and Luna doesn't want to come down on him too hard. I really don't think she should either, just for getting drunk and being stupid. She does wanna make an example of him though." I thought for a moment, then suddenly remembered a precedent from my own past.
"Heheh...I got it." I chuckled. "Hey sis...one time, when I was on the frontier, one of the troopers under my command painted an insult on my quarters. It was kind of a similar thing. I didn't want to punish him too badly, but I couldn't just let it go."
"So what'd ya do?" Budder asked, trying to balance a pencil on her nose. I grinned.
"My pencil and paper, my dear sister." I said. I took took the pencil Budder had been playing with in hoof, and grabbed a sheet of paper. I penned the following letter:
"Dear Princess Luna,
I have come to a conclusion regarding the case you sent me. I'm no lawyer, but I believe that I can advise you on this matter. The guard who committed the act of drunken aggression was in no state of mind to be thinking rationally about his actions. However, as you said, he must be punished for his disreputable behavior. Now, if you notice, he defaced his fellow guard with paint. I feel that the best way to approach this situation, to both punish the offender, while at the same time save his honor and that of your Night Guard is as follows:
Section 2, Paragraph 4 of Military Law states the following;
A)Soldiers while on parade, on occasions where military protocol or order warrants so, under special detail, serving on the grounds of the Royal Palace or on special assignments of domestic nature representing the Kingdom or its reigning sovereigns, or while on assignment in foreign lands as an official representatives of the monarchy, must be in full-dress uniform, bearing the insignia and combat decorations of their unit, rank and person.
B)Soldiers while in garrison, on field or fatigue duty, whilst deployed under combat situations, while on call or reserve to be deployed to a combat zone, and while otherwise officially acting in the capacity of their duty as a soldier shall be dressed in the issued combat uniforms of their particular unit, to include unit, rank and specialty insignia approved by the branch and unit of their service.
C)All uniforms must be kept in serviceable condition, and of a proper fit, without stains, scratches or tears. All damaged uniforms must be replaced as soon as possible.
D)Uniforms may not be defaced, decorated or individualized beyond allowances made by the commander of the soldier's unit
E)Soldiers must keep themselves as clean and well-groomed as possible, may not deface or decorate their own bodies in any way not approved by their unit commander, must be trimmed in mane and tail to a respectable appearance, and in appearance and cleanliness, must conform to unit regulations and orders.
F)Soldiers found in violation of these items will be given an opportunity to rectify their appearance if they were without knowledge of their infraction, or otherwise punished by no more than three days in military prison, or no more than two weeks of special assignment, or a fine of no more than one hundred bits
Now Princess Luna, I call your special attention to clauses E and F. The guard in question defaced the other guard. He caused the victim to not conform to the regulations stated in clause E, and I am certain that if you inspect the offender's helmet, his careless action has no doubt dented or scratched it, causing him to be in violation of clause C as well.
So you see, though the offender himself was not in violation of the rules of uniforms and appearances, his actions resulted in another soldier being in violation, which in itself makes our friend the inebriate the offender himself. Charge him at once with the violation of this code, as well as for having a scuffed helmet, punish him according to the book, and I'm sure you'll have no more such trouble out of him.
I am happy to have been of service to you, Your Highness. Please call on me if you need anything at all in the future. And as for your invitation to dinner at your private resort next month, I am afraid I will be unable to attend. My apologies, but I have duty elsewhere, and I have been far to busy too take a vacation lately. Maybe sometime in the future. Again. I am happy to have been of service to you, Your Highness.
Your Loyal Detective,
-Drake"
"I didn't understand any of that." My sister admitted.
"Heheh. That's alright. The only reason I know what all that junk is because I had to learn it in Academy. They force-feed all us officers regulations until we can vomit them back up on command."
"Ew." Budder commented.
"Oh, You wanna go to Academy when you're older?" I asked. "Maybe try your hoof at being a big, important army officer?"
"Well, um...eheh...I kinda wanna be a paranormal investigator..." She answered. "That reminds me, bub...can I be homeschooled?"
"I dunno...why do you wanna be? I asked, folding up the letter and stuffing it into an envelope.
"Well...I want to spend more time with you and Dash...and I don't like the foals at school...and I heard I can graduate early if I'm homeschooled, which means more adventures..." I thought for a moment and shrugged.
"Alright with me, I guess. You keep up your grades and study, and we'll homeschool ya. How's that?"
"Yay!" She squeaked.
"Sure you don't wanna be a cavalry officer when you get older, sis?" I asked again.
"Nah. I want to do paranormal stuff. It sounds really cool."
"Well, okay...I can deal with that." I smiled. "But you'll be missing out on a bunch of exciting stuff..."
"What, like having a princess flirting with me?" My sister gave me a sly grin.
"Ugh...don't tell Dashie..."
