Okay, so if this is OOC please tell me! I know I make a bad Murdoc... And OMG this is so short ; n ;
I hate him. Ever since we started what we have. I mean, we didn't really get along before, but ever since the day we shagged, I've hated him more. Truth is, I love him. But I hate as well.
The reason being?
He said he loved me.
While we were shagging, he moaned "I love you Murdoc".
He shouldn't love me. I don't even love myself.
But he loves ME.
I hate his pretty boy looks.
I hate his stupidity.
I hate the way he squints his eye when he gets confused.
I hate the way he pronounces my name 'Muhdoc'.
I hate his electric azure hair.
I hate his goofy, gap toothed grin.
I hate the fact that turns me on.
I hate the way he looks up to me.
I hate everything about him.
What do I hate most about him?
I hate the fact that he loves me so much, despite all the shit that I've done to hurt him.
He should want to punch me in the face every time he sees me. He should want to see the day the demons come for me come tomorrow. He should want murder me, or hire a hit man to do it.
But, he loves me instead.
So, I hate for him. I beat him, taunt him, call him names, steal his girlfriends, push them away, and just overall make his life complete Hell. Why? Because he deserves it.
I shouldn't hate myself because he doesn't hate me enough. I shouldn't half regret, half love fucking his brains out.
I shouldn't be ashamed of what I do to him…
I shouldn't have these emotions. I'm Murdoc FUCKING Niccals, for fuck's sake! I fuck birds with no emotions afterwards what so ever all the time. I'm not supposed to feel emotions.
I hate him more than he will ever hate me.
That's why I beat him.
The site of him on the floor, cowering below gives me a rush.
But it just makes me love him more…
I practically destroy him. I put him through so much pain he swallows almost 20 pills a day.
I push him away. To save his dumb arse from me.
And when I succeed in making him leave, he comes back stronger and more immune to my lame attempts at pushing him away.
I hate to admit it, but I need that stupid twit. And for that, I hate him.
But I still love him…