He could feel her eyes roaming over him as he stared at the emptying throne room. He had hurt her, badly, and he knew it, but how could he possibly fix it? He had made vows to Andraste and the Maker. What kind of man would he be if he threw them away for her? He wouldn't be worthy of her love if he couldn't keep his own promises. But the pain in those dark brown eyes felt like an arrow in his chest.
"What about the vows you made to her?" part of him asked. The other part fought against the logical question.
"No, no vows were ever made. We never went through with it." It argued. The part of him that wanted her laughed.
"You asked her to marry you, you blithering idiot. That is a vow in itself. Your vow to her was made long before you ever tied yourself to the chantry. And besides: Didn't you already break those vows when you agreed to hunt down your family's killer?" it pointed out. He tore his gaze away from her and quickly left the Viscount's keep. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be near someone that tore his heart asunder whenever he thought of her. But he had to. He craved her like a drowning man craves oxygen. He needed to see the way her nose wrinkled when she laughed, and the way she would wink when she felt mischievous. He wanted to run his fingers through her long, dark hair and get lost in those wide brown eyes. He craved the sound of her voice, her laugh, the way she would hum when she thought no one was listening. He trusted her opinion above all others, even that of Grand Cleric Elthina, and he felt an urge to go to her for advice in their situation. He wiped tears from his eyes and dropped to his knees in the middle of the square outside the chantry while the storm soaked him completely.
"Maker, what do I do?" he cried.
"Can I give you some advice, Choir Boy?" Varric's smooth voice said behind him. He turned and squinted at the dwarf through the downpour. He was leaning against a column, safely out of the rain.
"What is it, Varric?" he asked wearily. The storyteller chuckled.
"Make the choice that you will regret the least." He said simply. Sebastian frowned.
"How do I know?" he asked. Varric shrugged.
"Look at it this way: If you choose love, you will still be able to have the Maker in your life. On the other hand, if you choose your vows, you will lose her. She's not the type of girl to wait around forever, Sebastian." He said. Sebastian's lips turned upward into a smile as he closed his blue eyes. "What are you smiling for?" Varric asked confusedly. Sebastian laughed as he got to his feet. He actually embraced the dwarf.
"You are the sign I was waiting for." He said cheerfully before sprinting towards Lowtown with laughter bubbling in his throat. He caught up to her just as she reached her home. She wasn't wearing a hood, and her dark auburn hair was soaked and beginning to curl in the dampness. His heart leapt when he saw her, and he knew with his entire soul that he was making the right choice. He schooled his features before calling her name. "Kierrai!" he yelled, loving the beautiful sound of the rolling syllables.
Wide chocolate eyes turned on him then. He could see the fear and the worry etched into her features. Her delicate brow was furrowed and he just wanted to kiss it to make it go away. He watched the patter of rain on her cheeks, attaching to her eyelashes and dripping onto her sprinkled freckles. She was so perfect in his eyes.
"You were right." He said. Clearly she hadn't been expecting that, as her stance grew less defensive and the wrinkle between her brows began to fade.
"What?" she asked in her loud, wonderful voice. He grinned at her nervous expression. He was so excited to see how she reacted to his decision.
"Everything that you said today was true. I have no right to lead you along and tease you with my indecision. So I decided." He admitted. He saw the flash of hope cross her features and fought the urge to smile even wider.
"What did you decide?" she asked in a small voice. He failed to fight the smile on his face as he closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to hers. He loved the fact that she didn't stiffen in surprise, but instead just melted into him as though they had never been apart. He pulled her closer, and sent a silent thanks to the Maker. Varric had been right. This was one decision that he could never regret.