Killian was pretty livid and with good reason.
Love was not a thing to be questioned any more. He knew he loved her. Deeply, madly, insanely enough to die for her, if need be. Why grill him like this? Over a bird? He got the bird, that much was true... but to claim distrust, after all he'd done, after how hard he'd tried...
That was just... bad form. And pirate or not, one thing he hated was bad form.
She knew he loved her, too. They all did. He really didn't even try to make much of a secret about it anymore; it was impossible to conceal. It had become completely unavoidable for his entire body to respond to her. His eyes, once smarmy and wise-looking, were now doe-shaped whenever she was around. It was hard to smile, even when she was being friendly... the pain and longing for a kiss or a hug or even just a glance with a smile made even the simplest tasks, such as breathing, hard as hell. He ached in places he never even knew existed, even with Milah, and god knew that THAT loss had been a serious blow.
Still, he remained at her side, fighting her fights alongside her and her family. Alas, the witch had intercepted and tricked him and the cute little curse on his lips, together with the threat of hurting the boy he wished he could one day call his son had all but tied him with his hands behind his back. If he told her, it would be bad; if he kissed her, it would be bad... and of course, not telling her, would ALSO be bad. So he tried to have the boy shipped to New York, away from Zelena's ravenous reach. He thought that, of all people, the Charmings would understand such a maneuver; hadn't they done the same to Emma, to save her life? Except, of course, Emma had been a helpless infant with nowhere to go, so maybe sending Henry home to his apartment wasn't half as bad.
Oh but it was... it seemed everything he did and didn't do was bad. Such is the life of a former pirate who no longer knows who the hell he is, and who lives and breathes for someone who apparently refuses to even give him the benefit of the doubt... and whom he loves with every inch of his heart, or at least what's left of it.
"Who else would know where to find the Savior?" He defended himself, his eyes searching in their eyes for an ounce of faith.
Snow turned her gaze to the floor and David pressed his lips hard. It was clear that they didn't trust him at all. "Swan..." he turned pleadingly to Emma, hoping that she, of all people, would understand and believe in him.
But she averted her gaze to the floor.
Killian sighed. "Right, then, if that's how things are... I suppose I have no further use for this!" He reached into his inner coat pocket and produced a scrap of cloth. He violently grabbed Emma's hand and placed it in it. "May it serve you well, love." He spat angrily before turning and storming out of the boathouse in a furious fit of anger.
The Charmings exchanged a wry look before turning to Emma, whose forehead had once again acquired that wrinkled scorn she usually sported around the flirty, smiley pirate. She looked at the scrap in her hand and closed her eyes, with a sigh. She knew then... she had been so wrong.
"Emma, what is that?" Snow inquired.
The blonde savior felt the fabric with her fingers, almost reminiscing the feel of his old shirts. He had become one of the closest allies of her life and from the looks of it, even Killian's rival in the fight for her heart had more faith in the wayward pirate's steadfastness than she did. She felt embarrassed and regretful as she handed her mother the scrap.
"He was telling the truth..." she spoke under her breath, before turning to her parents. "It's the note he received..."
David looked at it. "Emma, for all we know, he could have done this himself."
Emma shook her head. "Not in a million years."
Snow shook her head. "How can you be so sure? I mean, he has lied before, maybe your father has a point and..."
Emma huffed and shook her head. "You know, for a couple of people who claim to be the most kind and forgiving human beings in the Enchanted Forest, you guys are really working hard on being the complete opposite on him, aren't you?!" she spat, shocking them. "She swallowed hard, ran a hand through her hair and turned back to them. "I'd know that handwriting anywhere. That's Neal. Neal sent the bird." She raised her eyes to her parents. "Even he believed in Hook..."
David swallowed and shook his head, eyes gazing to the floor. Snow sighed and turned to him first, before glancing towards her daughter. "Oh, Emma, I..."
"You know what?" she raised her hand. "Save it. I'm gonna find him before he does something stupid like, maybe trying to leave."
She walked away, leaving her contrite parents with a heavy burden of guilt.
For a guy that wasn't so tall or long-legged, Killian had walked quite the distance along the docks. He wanted to block out the hurt of her words. "I can't trust you now. How can I?" How could she? Did she really ask that? He thought the loud stomping of his boots on the wooden planks under the snow would suffice. His eyes stung with angry tears and he seriously wondered why he hadn't asked for a refill of his flask the night before. Downing the whole contents in ten seconds seemed like an appetizing idea.
"Killian!"
He closed his eyes and accelerated his stride. He could still hear hers behind the trace of his boot marks on the snow as she ran, trying to catch up.
"Come on, Killian, wait!"
He hated being in love. All she had to do was say wait and his legs stopped obeying his own command. In fact, his own command stopped obeying his own command. He was like a drone for her... anything she wanted, needed, asked for... he'd do it. Cursed love...
He didn't turn around or even look at her. He adored her, that was not at all questionable. But he really didn't want to see her face at that moment. She panted and reached him, standing a few yards away as she tried to catch her breath. "I know who sent it..." She breathed heavily. "It was Neal. It was his hand writing."
"Well, I'm glad you worked that mystery out, my darling swan!" he replied, his voice full of anger and sarcasm. "Now if you don't mind, I'll just go cut of my leg and get myself a colorful parrot for my shoulder... I am, after all, just a lying, dishonest pirate..." He resumed his stride.
"Ok... ok I deserved that!" she ran alongside him. "Look, will you..." She jumped in front of him. "...Will you stop?" she barked.
Killian rolled his eyes away from her, his lips pressed hard.
"Look, I was wrong, ok? I was out of line with what I said!" She offered. "I was so angry, I mean, you really shouldn't have taken Henry like that..."
"So even the fact that I was trying to save the lad doesn't count now, does it?" he spat at her. "You have entrusted me with his well-being all this time and now, just now, because we were ambushed, you get like this?"
"You were sending him to New York on a boat, Killian!" she replied intensely. "Don't you think that as a mom, I should have been informed of this!?"
"No, Emma!" He raged, making her jump as he held a finger to her face. "And I'll tell you why: Because if I HAD told you, Zelena would have brought this onslaught a lot sooner and for all you know, none of us might have been able to save your boy! For weeks she's been after me! If I had kissed you and you had lost your power, I would have been the distrustful pirate... If I didn't, she would have taken your bloody son a lot earlier than now and I still would have been RAKED by you and your precious parents for not saying a bloody thing! And now, I get this? For trying to get him out of harm's way and NOT affect you in the process?" he ran his hand through his hair. "Have you ANY idea what I go through every day, Emma? Looking at you, watching over you and your family, just hoping that one day, one miserable, pathetic day, I'll get at least a smile? And all I get are wise-arse remarks and a bloody cold shoulder! It can drive ANY suitor mad, I tell you! I've had enough!"
Emma stared at him in silence as he tried to regain composure; she had never seen him behave this passionately and yet so out of control. Killian was always the contained gentleman, the flirty but quiet follower.
He'd obviously had had his fill; and suddenly the idea of him giving up on her ached. Why? She had no clue. She knew about his crush slash infatuation slash love for her and hadn't really given it much thought. But hearing him say "I've had enough" made her shudder. Had she really been that tough on him? She had... she knew she had. And for the moment, she suddenly hated herself.
"You'll ... leave, won't you?" she whispered.
"What?" Killian spoke back.
Emma grinned the saddest grin he'd ever seen, and nodded. "I have a way of driving people away... I know that."
Killian huffed hard and ran his good hand down his face before placing it on his hip. "No..." he whispered, shaking his head. "I'm not leaving, Swan. And let me make my reason for it perfectly clear, just in case you missed the message..." He looked into her eyes, electric blue clashing with her deep green in waves of passionate anger. "I love you too bloody much to be away from you, to leave you to fend for yourself. That's it. I... love... you. " He poked her shoulder softly as he said 'you' and pulled himself back. "But of course, you'd believe I'd be going, wouldn't you? It's easier to deal with that, than to think that the bloody pirate will leave you, just like the rest of them. Well, I won't. I got your back, Swan, no matter what. That's what love is about, even if you kick me around like some bloody fish jumping on a deck out of water. However..." he spoke through pressed lips. "...and in spite of my sickeningly powerful affection for you, I can say without fear of erring, that for this particular moment..." he looked into her eyes. "...I really don't want to see your face, Emma Swan... neither yours, nor your beloved family's. So kindly leave me be. "
Emma froze as he coldly glanced into her eyes one final time, before turning around and stomping away. She had never seen him like this and it suddenly made her feel like she had just made the biggest mistake of her life. All the same, she knew when a person needed to be left alone; they had hurt him pretty bad, she knew that much. So she swallowed her tears and turned around, shoving her hands in her pockets and hoping he'd simmer down soon enough.
As she walked back to her family, she thought of that infallible teenage love formula: Treat them poorly and they'll eat out of your hand. Is that what she had been doing? She did know he had made a dramatic change for the better since Neverland and had been next to gold when it came to looking after Henry. Of course she trusted him! Why the hell had she said that? Maybe on a very deep level, she enjoyed his pining for her and the thought of her being some bitchy woman who thrives on the lovesick ache of a suitor made her feel even worse... this wasn't who she was! Or was she?
When she found her parents, they eyed her inquisitively. "Well?" Mary Margaret asked sheepishly, knowing well how wrong they had all been. "Where's Hook?"
Emma sighed and shook her head. "He wants to be alone for a while. Can't blame him..."
David shook his head. "He shouldn't be! Not with Zelena rummaging around! She's already targeted Hook before, what makes him think she...?"
"You know..." Emma turned to him with a sneer. "The man has a name. It's Killian Jones. Killian!" She enounced. "The name 'Hook' is basically because he is one hand short and has a seventeenth century prosthetic, which in our day and time, would be considered bullying! And if I of all people have it in me to call him Killian, I'm sure you two can handle it." She looked at both parents. "It's about time we stop tagging the guy, don't you think? Aren't Snow White and Prince Charming all about second chances?" having said this, she walked out, leaving a pair of thoughtful parents as she tried to ease off the ache of his angered eyes and the sharp, pained words that had simply cut right through her.