"Eeeeh? What do you mean, you ate all of them?" Sakura stared in absolute bewilderment at the empty box of sweets. At least there had been sweets in it before Naruto had discovered them. He held his belly and looked totally satisfied.

"Thank you, Sakura-chan, they were so tasty!" He puckered his lips and tried to express his gratitude by a big smooch on her cheek but a rudely appearing hand shoved him away.

"Don't touch me, idiot, or do you want me to beat you up like last Christmas?" A swollen vein popped up on her broad forehead.

"Uhm, erh, no, I'd rather not." Naruto still remembered lively the harsh consequences of his prank when he had lured her under the mistletoe last year and then... a sharp pain and absolute darkness. He had to stay in the hospital until New Year's eve.

"But this time it's different, since I'm your Valentine." He grinned all over his face.

Sakura snorted. "They were for Sasuke, not for you, idiot!"

"Sasuke? But..." Naruto's smile fell apart. Of course, Sasuke! This arrogant bastard had been in the way of his love life ever since kindergarten. All the girls just had eyes for 'Sasuke-kun' whenever he appeared and that left everyone else pretty much as garbage, though the smug bastard gave a damn about them all. Plus Naruto couldn't remember a single moment Sasuke had left out to embarrass him in public. This guy was the reason Naruto was still a virgin and looked down by every girl. It had been bad luck he had to share a room in the University's dorm with him even now. And to top it all there hadn't been a moment Sasuke had left him alone. Whenever a girl showed up the good looking Uchiha appeared out of nowhere as if he was a ghost. Naruto hated his sneakiness.

"How should I have known they were meant to be his? He..."

"What was meant to be mine?", a low voice growled behind them. "Didn't I tell you not to touch my things?"

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura turned in surprise and blushed lightly. A dreamy shimmer appeared in her eyes, while she watched his attractive but indifferent face.

Naruto clenched his fist and his blood pressure immediately raised up to 200.

Of course, the thought alone must have brought him here, this treacherous bastard. How much would have Naruto liked to clobber him up now at once, but he feared Sakura's rage. So he just tended towards him and put a mischievous smile on his face.

"That wasn't your thing. It stood in the midst of the room without any hint of the owner."

"And what exactly classified you to become the owner?" Sasuke frowned.

"Well..."

"Sorry, Sasuke-kun, it was all my fault for forgetting the Valentine card." Sakura's blush grew more intense, spreading over her face.

"So, it was a Valentine gift for me?" Sasuke smiled. "I'm touched, really. ...and... where is it?" He looked around.

This bastard puts up an act just to embarrass me! Naruto thought.

"Unfortunately..." Sakura looked at Naruto. Sasuke followed her look.

Oh, how much I hate this arrogant son of a...!

"Do you have to tell me something, Naruto?" Sasuke approached Naruto and stood dangerously close to his face. If not for Sakura, Naruto would have punched him away. Sasuke sniffed at him.

"You reek of chocolate. Could it be you ate my Valentine present?" He pouted.

"What the hell...? Get off my face, Uchiha! It wasn't my fault, you heard it. It was just a misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding that filled your belly quite well and left me with... nothing." Sasuke looked into the empty box and faked disappointment.

"You..."

"I... I'll go get another one for you, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled. Her whole face was red like a tomato now.

Sasuke turned towards her. "Oh no, dear. It wasn't your fault. The culprit stands rightly before us, chocolate still drooling from his mouth."

Naruto's blood boiled. But in front of Sakura he was quite helpless. "I'm not drooling.", he hissed.

"Whatever, you've eaten it. All of it, haven't you?"

"So what? You can't pump it up from my stomach!"

"Hmmm... I wonder..." Sasuke looked thoughtfully from Naruto's mouth to his belly.

"Are you NUTS?" Naruto took a few steps back, just to be safe. His face went pale.

"S..Sasuke-kun!" Sakura's eyes were wide open. "You can't possibly think of..." She stared at the good looking Uchiha in bewilderment. "That... that would be... eww!"

He turned towards her with the most charming smile she'd ever seen on his face.

"My, my, calm down, Sakura-chan, it was just a joke."

"A... joke? Oh, I see, haha. I thought for a moment... but of course you're much too polite and aesthetic to do such a thing. Hahaha." She looked at him with dreamy eyes.

Naruto relaxed a bit, a single sweat drop had come down his neck while the hated rival had amused himself at his costs.

"Of course you can pay it back, dobe." Sasuke stated dryly.

"WHAT?"

"I said you can either give me the money for the eaten sweets or buy me a similar package of them, if you prefer that."

"I'd rather die than buy you a box of sweets for Valentine.", Naruto spat out.

"Fine. Then give me the money."

"WHY? I don't have...", he looked at Sakura. "Erm... I mean... Sakura-chan, can you leave us alone for a moment?"

"Why?" The pink haired girl didn't seem willing to follow Naruto's request.

"Because."

"Because of what?" Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Just because." Naruto replied desperately.

"What do you say? That makes no sense!"

"Whatever." He quickly shoved her outside and closed the door.
"NARUTO!" She angrily hammered at the door. "You can't throw me out like that, idiot! Open the door!"

She went on bumping, swearing, intimidating and even trying to break the door for at least 10 minutes until she finally gave up and retreated to her room, but not without threatening Naruto for a last time and promising him the worst beat up of his life he could imagine.

"Phew, I thought she'd never go." Naruto who still braced the door, exhaled and relaxed.

"So, what's exactly the cause you wished suddenly to see me 'in private'?"

Naruto looked up and stared directly onto Sasuke's face.

"Gaaaah!", he shoved him back. "You're too close! Never heard of personal space, bastard?" He glared at the smug looking Uchiha. "Where did you come from that fast anyhow? What are you, a Ninja?"

"Don't become ridiculous, dobe ...oh, I forgot you already are." Sasuke's smirk infuriated the blond.

"The only one here ridiculous, is you!", he snarled.

"Me? How come you jump to that unfounded conclusion?"

"Tse, that's simple. You want money from me, though you know I don't have any."

"So? That's nothing new, dobe, you never have any money, but is that my problem? Even though you have to make up for the sweets you so carefree devoured."

"Bastard, you don't even like sweets!" Naruto's face grew red.

"That's true but I like gifts, since they show me appreciation for my existence."

"Appreciation for your existence, for laughing out loud! Your whole life is an appreciation for your existence already. Can't you take the empty box for appreciation if it's just a symbol anyway?"

"There's no appreciation involved by getting an empty box from someone." Sasuke repeated icily.

"But what would you do with the content anyway?"

"I could give it away."

"So you want me to pay up for something you'd throw away anyway?"

"I wouldn't throw it away, I'd give it away to the benefit of someone who likes sweets."

"Whom?"

"What do you mean, whom?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"To whom would you give them?"

"I really don't care."

"You can give them to me, I like sweets."

"I can't give them to you, since you already ate them." Sasuke frowned.

"But if you'd give them to me anyway, there'd be no difference whether I ate them before or after."

"Ah, I see, in that case I would give them to anyone but you."

"WHY?" Naruto stared in angry bewilderment at Sasuke.

"Because you just try to avoid to pay for your crimes."

"What crimes? I just ate your chocolate."

"Exactly. It's called theft."

"Theft? It's not a theft when they lay around freely in our living-room."

"That's your interpretation."

"Yeah, so?"

"I don't accept it."

"You bastard!"

"Whatever, pay up, now." Sasuke put out his hand.

"I don't have the money!"

"Then provide me with a proper replacement."

"How should I do that? Do I look like a damn chocolatier?" Naruto's voice snapped over.

"You can give me something else instead."

"And what should that be?"

"You could do the chores for a week.", Sasuk.e proposed

"I already do the chores." Naruto snapped back.

"Oh yes, that's right. You lent some money from me last week. But I didn't see you do anything."

"You just don't look. I took out the garbage."

Sasuke looked sceptically at Naruto.

"That's all? You took out the garbage? What about vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, washing the laundry..."

"Hey stop, I'm doing the chores, I'm not your damn slave!"

Sasuke sighed. "No, Naruto, you're not doing the chores, that's the point of it, don't you see?"

"What the hell? It's not even weekend yet!"

"You don't clean up just on the weekends." Sasuke lectured him.

"So? I do the chores that way."

"You can do your chores that way, but you'll have to do my chores as well and so you have to clean up on a daily base."

"Are you out of your mind? Who'd ever do that?" Naruto gesticulated wildly.

"Everyone does it that way." Sasuke said without the flinch of an eye.

"Well, I'm not everyone then."

"That's exactly the problem."

"I see no problem." Naruto remained stubborn.

"But I do. Your chores are worth nothing." The derogatory tone of Sasuke's words wasn't to overhear and let Naruto's blood boil.

"How can you say that?"

"Because it's the truth."

"But..." Before Naruto even could protest, Sasuke cut him off rudely.

"If you even can't do a simple thing like managing the chores, I demand for something else."

"Eh, what else?"

"Well, think of something sweet."

"WHY? You loathe sweets."

"It's the principle that counts. When you take something, you have to replace it by something similar. It's simple logic."

"Logic, my ass! Bite me, bastard!" Unnerved, Naruto rolled his eyes, threw his arms up to the air and opened his mouth in a silent cry of complaint. In the next moment he felt a tight grip on his waist, a collision of body on body and a moisture smack on his lips.

"GAAAAAHHH!" Utterly shocked, Naruto pushed Sasuke back and stared at him with wide opened eyes. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK, BASTARD?"

"Well, I thought it was a suggestion."

"SUGGESTION? WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I SUGGEST YOU TO KISS ME? I'M NO GIRL, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!"

"So?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'SO'?"

"Naruto, calm down. It was just a kiss. It's not that I raped you."

Naruto fumed. "You think you had that option?"

"Well, you practically said 'bite my ass', so..." Sasuke dodged Naruto's angry punch. "Whoa, take care where you aim your fists at, dobe!"

"You just do that to piss me off, don't you? You're such an ass!"

"Now that hurts." Sasuke scowled. "Do you really think that lowly of me? I just looked for an easy way out of your predicament."

"Predicament? Which predicament?"

"You had to give me back something sweet though you have no money."

"Y...you think kissing me is sweet?" Naruto's eyes almost popped out.

"Tse, not at all, but at least it's a sweet gesture I could accept."

"You're kidding me!"

"No. And just to your information, it's not that I had fun doing that. You're a lousy kisser."

"What did you say?"

"I said, you're a lousy..."

"I heard what you said!" Naruto cut him off.

"Then why do you want me to repeat it?"

"Because I can't believe you'd say it again."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because it's not true."

"It is true."

"No, it's not!"

"It is and I say it again: You're a lou..."

Naruto pushed himself against Sasuke and closed his mouth by a rather violent kiss.

"And what do you say now?", he asked with a triumphant gaze after unlocking their lips.

For a second Sasuke blinked in paralysis. Then he shook his head.

"That was even more horrible than before."

"WHAT? I'll show you!" And without a further warning Naruto got into heavy bodycheck with Sasuke's lips again, this time giving his all to make the kiss quite passionate.

"And how...", he panted after a minute, "...was that?"

For a split-second Sasuke looked shaken, but he instantaneously recovered his indifferent poise.

"Almost as bad as before, it seems you totally lack experience." His voice sounded condescending with a slight touch of pity. That was too much! Naruto almost exploded.

"YOU LIAR!", he yelled. "You're just totally jealous of me and my kissing-techniques."

"Kissing-techniques!" Sasuke chuckled. "You say that as if you were training hard every day." He almost laughed.

"You bastard, don't mock me! I was totally awesome!"

"In your dreams maybe."

Angrily Naruto grabbed Sasuke and held him in what looked like a deadly kiss-lock for more than 4 minutes. This time when he broke contact they both panted.

"Now you can't deny it anymore." Naruto looked in triumph at Sasuke. Pointing out his index finger at him he shouted: "You're totally blushing. I win."

Sasuke wiped his mouth and shot an angry look at Naruto. "As if you weren't blushing too, dobe. This is a most embarrassing and unpleasant situation."

"Unpleasant? You totally kissed me back!"

"I didn't."

"YES, you did!"

"Do you always daydream? Well, I hope it isn't about me, that would be..."

"You damn liar, this time I'll make you faint, dattebayo!" By these words Naruto threw himself on Sasuke and tackled him to the ground. About for what felt like an eternity he locked fiercely his lips with Sasuke's and didn't let go, reading eagerly all the movements of his invidious rival and responding to them. If not for severe respiration problems showing up after 10 minutes, he'd have hold that lock of lips like forever to make his sworn enemy finally admit his defeat, but the need for breathing forced Naruto to let go in time before his lungs exploded.

"WHOA!" Sasuke snapped for air. "Did you... (gasp) ...want to kill me, (gasp) ...dobe?"

He looked at Naruto's face which showed signs of blue from the temporary lack of air. Though panting heavily Naruto started to state his victory.

"Now... (pant, pant), ...you... (pant)...have to... (pant)...admit... that I'm... (pant)… better kissing... (pant) ...than you... (pant) ...bastard!"

"Why... (gasp) ...should I... (gasp) ...admit that?" Sasuke's face was totally red, his lips swollen, he somehow looked like a tomato with eyes, but he seemed the same arrogant guy like always. "First of all... (gasp) ...you don't block the nose when you... (gasp) ...kiss someone, except you want to... (gasp) ...kill them."

"I didn't... (pant) ...block your damn nose."

"Of course you did. You even were so... (gasp) ...stupid to block your own."

"I didn't block my... (pant) ...nose."

"Then why are you snapping for air now?"

"I... (pant) ...don't."

"You're almost choking, moron! Don't deny it."

"You have no proof, you're just jealous."

"Why should I be jealous?"

"Because of my breathtaking kissing-technique."

"Breathtaking is the the right word for it."

"You wanna say something?" Naruto puffed himself up in an aggressive way, ready to fight.

"Yes, you kiss like a predator and it's even less enjoyable."

"You just say that because you don't want to admit that I'm better than you!", Naruto accused.

"You can't even dream about reaching my level, much less overdo me."

"Hollow words, you poser."

"You doubt it, usuratonkachi?"

"Yeah, damn right, I doubt it!" Naruto yelled angrily.

"Do you dare me to prove you wrong?" Something lurking swung within Sasuke's voice but Naruto was apparently deaf to it.

"And what if I do?", he provokingly sneered.

"You may regret it."

"As if!"

"You sure?"

"Sure as hell!" Naruto's cheeks were puffed up like the body of a blowfish when attacked.

"Ok. Don't complain afterwards. You wanted it that way." Sasuke licked his swollen lips.

"Ha, as if you'd da..."

Sasuke grabbed Naruto, pulled him in his arms and quieted his usually loud mouth in a rather pleasurable, nonetheless unexpected way.

He let his fingers run through Naruto's tousled, thick hair while his lips slipped eagerly over Naruto's, he nibbled, sucked and slightly bit down on them, in one expression did his best to tease the blond, young man in a quite passionate way. Naruto's eyes widened and his body stiffened in shock first. He didn't want to give in, never! But after a mocking murmur of Sasuke "What's up with you, dobe, chicken out?" he first hesitatingly, then angrily responded to the kiss and got himself more and more into it the longer it lasted. He finally got carried away so far that he buried his hand in Sasuke's hair.

"Ok, prelude's over..", Sasuke murmured hoarsely, his hot breath brushing Naruto's ear and causing him to shudder, "...time for the main title." Sasuke let his tongue conquer Naruto's mouth while his hands slipped under his shirt and seemed to play Maurice Ravel's "Bolero" on his bare skin. Naruto became overwhelmed by strange feelings of hate mixed with desire. He forgot for a moment who was causing his goosebumps and gave in to everything. He moaned and leaned in Sasuke's every movement to get more pleasurable touches. He totally lost time and space, forgot who kissed him so passionately and what had been the original reason of their doing until a strange, yet familiar voice suddenly disrupted their intense make-out.

"Erhm, I really hope I don't disturb you, otouto?" A perfect copy of Sasuke, just a few years older and a bit taller than the original stood above them, holding a bouquet and a square box with a colorful bow on top in his hands. He smiled friendly.

"GYAAHHH!" Naruto got aware of the situation first. Itachi walking in of them was the equivalent to a cold shower. Now everyone would think he was GAY! He pushed Sasuke away, sprung up like a mad frog in panic and ran to the bathroom while pulling desperately at his disarranged shirt to cover his lower regions and crying nonstop: "IT'SNOTWHATITLOOKSLIKE! IT'SNOTWHATITLOOKSLIKE! IT'SNOTWHATITLOOKSLIKE!"

Both brothers stared at the strange scene in awkward silence until the door to the bathroom shut with a heavy BANG. Then Itachi moved his gaze to Sasuke.

"You haven't confessed to him yet, did you?"

"Don't be ridiculous!", Sasuke reacted annoyed.

"Ah, good. So I don't have to tell our parents to cancel their last hopes for grandchildren. That would have been kind of inconvenient to me, otouto."

"You're an asshole, nii-san, like always. What are you doing here anyway?"

Itachi handed out the box and the flowers.

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Sasuke."

Annoyed, Sasuke grabbed the presents.

"Hn. That's just an excuse to spy on me, nii-san." He slightly rattled the box. "I hope it's the usual."

"Tomato-cake, the way you like it." Itachi smiled. "And happy Valentine's from Shisui as well."

"You know I can't stand him, though he's our cousin and your..."

"...roommate. I know. That's why he stayed at home but helped me baking."

"Hn."

"You don't seem to approve of that."

"Whatever. It's your life."

"Well, I think, I'll leave now and let you have... some privacy to share your... cake with... whomever pleases you. Good luck, otouto." Itachi smiled and prepared to go. Sasuke fumbled on the bow of his present.

"Why don't you stay?", he mumbled.

"Eh? What did you say?" Itachi faked a surprise face and Sasuke threw the lid of the box at him.

"I said STAY, you idiot and you'd better not ask me why."

Itachi smirked. "I'll gladly stay a while if I'm not in your Valentine's way, that is."

"You've ruined it anyway, klutz. So you can as well keep me some company. Naruto won't come out of the bathroom for at least midnight. I know him. If he's really embarrassed, he keeps hiding until everyone has forgotten about it."

"You know him that well, huh?"

"I had my eyes on him since kindergarten, so what did you expect?"

"You can be so cruel, otouto."

"What should I say?" Sasuke smirked at Itachi. "I learned from the best. After all, if you hadn't walked in, that could have become my best Valentine ever."

"Isn't it already so far?"

Sasuke stared at his brother in surprise, changed to a thoughtful expression and then started to smile happily. "Yes, I guess you're right, aniki. Though it was kind of a failure, today was definitely my sweetest Valentine."

And then they put the flowers into a vase, ate the cake and shared stories about home, university, work and friends.

Though they tried their best to convince him to join them, Naruto didn't come out of the bathroom until midnight, as Sasuke predicted. But that's another story...

Glossary:

Otouto – little brother

Nii-san – big brother

Aniki – elder brother

Usuratonkachi – good-for-nothing, idiot

Dobe – dead last, moron

Dattebayo – that's a word which doesn't really exist, just to underline what Naruto's saying when he's in rage.