Confession

"Renji," Rukia asked. "What is the real reason you saved me?"

Renji was taken aback a moment.

"Why wouldn't I?" He shot back almost insulted, no he was insulted.

Rukia snickered closing her eyes. "Nothing, I was just wondering if…"

Renji stood wide eyed for a moment not fully understanding what she was trying to say. "Rukia," Renji asked trying to get more out.

"Rukia please, you know you can tell me anything,"

She clenched her fists fighting with herself internally, she turned and looked at him tears in her eyes.

Renji looked at her dumfounded. "What the hell…" He thought confused.

"Renji tell me, I know you are hiding somthing," She challenged.

Renji gritted his teeth, the real reason he could never tell her. He smiled scratching the back of his head. "What kind of question is that, we go way back," He laughed like an idiot.

"Typical Renji," She thought, he's hiding something. She looked at him seriously.

He stopped laughing. "What the hell?" He thought. "Rukia?"

She walked up to him and gazed up into his amber eyes.

His mouth went dry, "What has gotten into her?" It was like she could see right through him. He almost felt like he had to step back, and this was Rukia.

"Tell me Renji I know you're lying to me, please," She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him.

Renji tensed him surprise.

"Rukia,"

"Please Renji, talk to me," She pleaded.

"I can't," He thought to himself. He took her by her wrists and made her stop embracing him, and put her hands back to her sides.

"Rukia please, somethings are meant to remain unsaid," He pleaded.

"But like you said, you can tell me anything," She reminded.

He was taken aback, feeling the string from his own words. But he couldn't, he couldn't tell her his feelings for her, that he….

She reached up and touched his face he being seemly distracted.

He tried to resist the urge to move into her touch. He could feel his heart racing, so hard he heard it ringing in his ears. He hoped she couldn't hear it. "Please Rukia," He hesitated for a moment like he was trying to search for the right words.

"Please," She begged with her eyes.

He pushed down her hand and held her wrist. "Please Rukia," He begged again. "You love someone else," He confessed.

Her eyes lit up in shock, and before she could say anything he flash stepped away.

Her legs gave out, and she sat between her ankles. "What Renji…did you just….?"

The next few weeks were awkward, trying to avoid one another but trying not to be too obvious. More like he avoided her unable to face her.

"Hey Renji!"He turned to the voice who called him

"Hey Ichigo what do you need?"

"Some of the others and I are going out tonight thought you would like to come? And hey have you seen Rukia isn't she normally with you?"

Ichigo watched something change in the other man's eyes.

"Hey man what's eating you?"

Renji snickered. "I'm busy tonight, and Rukia I don't know where she is isn't she YOUR fiancé?" He turned to walk away.

"Renji, hey you can talk to me,"

Renji clenched his fists and spat bitterly. "No, I really can't," And walked away.

Ichigo stood dumfounded.

"Orihime can I talk to you, sorry It's so late," Rukia apologized as the red head opened the door.

"No, come in I was awake," She lied stifling a young.

Rukia kneeled at the table waiting for Orihime to bring the tea, her head playing over and over what happened.

"You love someone else,"

She shook her head trying to clear it.

"Rukia you okay,"

Rukia faked a smile waving her hands. "Yes, yes I'm just fine,"

"Rukia what's wrong, you can tell me," Orihime encouraged sensing the lie. "Are you and Ichigo okay?"

Rukia sighed. "Yeah we're fine but…"She couldn't finish.

The red head cocked her head to the side taking a slow sip of her tea. "Rukia?"

Rukia looked down at her tea cup seeing her miserable expression looking back at her.

"I shouldn't of come I'm not ready to talk about it, I thought I was," Rukia confessed not looking up at the other.

Orihime waved it off. "Don't worry Rukia, it can't be that bad," She tried to make her feel at ease, hoping it would lighten her up.

Rukia bit her lip nervously. "….Well….I forced something out of someone, and he's," Rukia slipped.

"He?"

Rukia then tried to hold back tears, clutching her teacup her body almost curling around it.

"Rukia, please I want to help, but I can't if you don't tell me,"

"Renji confessed something to me," Rukia finally said no higher than a whisper.

Orihime resists the urge to move in closer to try to extract more. "And what did Renji tell you?"

Rukia stayed silent trying to resist the urge to burst into tears.

"That he loves me," She finally confessed, her eyes downcast.

Orihime falls backwards almost smashing her head into her wall, her eyes unbelieving.

"You just figured this out?" Asked a disembodied voice.

Rukia looked up confused seeing Rangiku coming out of Orihimes room. She blinks a few times. "What do you…what are you doing here?"

"Just having a slumber party until you showed up,"

Rukia blushed embarrassed. "What do you mean I just figured this out?"

Rangiku put her hands on her hips rocking to one side. "Think about it, how long have you known each other, and who was there for you when you really needed someone there,"

Rukia thought a moment and as much as she hated to admit it, she was right.

"But I'm with Ichigo, I love him,"

Rangiku smiled sympathetically. "This is why he didn't tell you,"

Rukia looked at her confused. "How you know, he tell you?"

Rangiku shook her head no. "No, but I see the way he looks at you, we all can tell. You would have to be blind or a fool to not notice,"

Rukia gritted her teeth, she is a fool how could she not notice the man who was there for her even when she asked him not to be, and she was so foolish a blinded foolish little girl. She sunk her head gripping her lap.

"If you say you love Ichigo stay with him, Renjis a big boy let him piece himself together and he will be his old self again the one we know and love again just give it sometime it won't happen overnight okay," Rangiku winked her somewhat self-signature.

Rukia nods, she dose love Ichigo more then she could ever say but now discovering her longtime friend she's known almost all her life has hardboard these feeling for so long an she never noticed, she feels horrible.

"Just try to talk to him Rukia, eventually, but for now leave him be, okay,"

Rukia nods again.

A couple weeks later Rukia was sent to Squad Six to deliver some files to her brother, she dreaded it knowing she would have to see Renji, but orders can't be ignored for personal consignations.

"Come in," She heard her brothers' soft voice from the other side of the door. She swallowed dryly sensing Renjis spiritual pressure in the office, exactly what she dreaded. She opened the door and walked over to her brother's desk his eyes down on the papers he was reading through.

"Here are the files you requested brother,"

She sat them on the desk.

"Thank you," He simply said finishing what he was working on.

She bows, and tries to hurry out without being too obvious.

Byakuya watched her as she made her way out and close the door behind her. "She seems preoccupied as of late I could not imagine you would know what has her so raddled,"

Renji dropped his pen, clearly taken off guard. "I don't know," He recovered. "We haven't spoken lately,"

Byakuya gave him a stair, a stair you wouldn't think threating but to someone who knew him it was like a death glair. Renji suddenly felt uncomfortable, he shuffled his papers around for a moment and stood up.

"Uh, I gotta go I have somethings to attend to," He bowed. "See you tomorrow sir," He tried to make it to the door but the Caption was behind him in a second. He felt his Captions spiritual pressure behind him and he froze his heart pounding in his ears. "Yes, Caption," He tried not to choke out.

"It's either you tell me what is going on between you and Rukia or I will find a way to extract it from you,"

Renji's mouth went dry, how the hell would he explain it? To her brother of all people, is it really that obvious.

"What are you talking about Sir there is nothing wrong,"

"Turn and say that to my face lieutenant,"

Renji turned and faced him. "Yes, sir," He tried to lie, bowing. "There is nothing wrong between Rukia and myself, I must go," About ran out of the office. He left Byakuya standing not believing him, he stared where is Lieutenant was standing narrowing his eyes in thought.

Renji broke into a full on sprint, trying to get as far away as he could from everything even if it were just for a moment. His mind raced his eyes burned, he needed to talk to someone, but who? The one he would talk to about something like this was Rukia, but she was the reason why he felt this way.

He's tried drinking himself into a stupor, training until the point of exhaustion he's even went as far is to jump into a water fall to have the icy water numb his body, but to no prevail he only ended up with a cold.

He didn't know how long he was running, he didn't really know where he was, but at the moment he really didn't care. He plopped down agents a tree and took off his bandanna and took out his hair hoping to calm his pounding head. He ran his fingers through the red tress and sighed heavily throwing his hair behind his shoulders just deciding to keep it down. He looked up to the sky the full moon making everything luminance.

"I thought I sensed you nearby,"

He heard an all too familiar voice greet. He got up and spun around taken off guard. He stood there staring wide eyed at the new comer who he simply knew as Rukia. He blinked a couple of times his mind barley processing who stood in front of him.

The shorter sole reaper smiled at the red head, she closed the distance between them and she looked up into his amber eyes her expression unreadable. His body became ridged from the closeness of her he wanted to flash step away but her gaze held him still.

"Rukia, what, what are you doing here?"

She put her hand on his chest playing with the long red tresses that flowed over his shoulders life liquid fire, they felt like silk. "I've always liked your hair down," She commented avoiding his question. She still held his gaze and tucked some hair behind his ear, he caught her hand and somehow found the will to step back away from her touch. She retracted her hand and held it to her chest, they stood in silence for a few moments.

"Wh-," Rukia sighed swallowing thickly struggling to find the words to say. She ran her hands through her hair a nervous habit she has developed as of late. "Why didn't you tell me, how long, why…Kami-sama," She cursed.

Renji stood his face emotionless. "Rukia I-,"

"NO!" She yelled.

"Rukia you are with Ichigo, you love Ichigo even a blind man can see that," His words cut in his chest like a jagged blade but it was the truth. "This is why I never told you,"

Rukia stood stunned as she watched him turn his back to her, she then feared he would flash step away again. So she beat him to it and flash stepped to him wrapping her arms around his waist. He tensed.

"Rukia,"

They both stood in silence for a few moments, Rukia still holding him and she said the unthinkable.

"Kiss me,"

Renji turned and looked at her. "What!" He stood stunned.

She looked up into his eyes again. He searched her face for some kind of sick joke, but found none.

"Kiss me, kiss me like Ichigo doesn't exist kiss me like nothing else matters, just kiss me please I have to know, kiss me please!" She pleaded.