Hello... This is my first fanfiction so my best friend, Kashagal forced to keep the author's note "nice." You all are beautiful, nice, and kind hearted so everybody loves you, but its life so they hide it and they might try to ruin your life... Thank you. I dont own ANYTHING execpt the brilliant idea , of doing this... (Thinking)
k:my friend is trying to think, she doesn't do it often. it's new to her so let her take her time...
L: my body is trying to kill itself :)
L: I give credit out to the wonderful people who helped make this possible- me... kashagal who typed it up for me because im lazy. and my mom.
K: and my relatives that made her computer.
L: I LOVE THE WORLD!
FMA My Way
"Flashback… Flashback… da na na na na da na na na na batman! Batman…"
"Brother!" Al screamed,
Edward replied, "What?"
"Brother this is the wrong flashback,"
Edward checking the script. "Oh, that flashback. I like mine better… Hmm I hate that flashback. Can't we just skip it and do mine?"
"No brother they need to know how we got to be who we are and if we don't do it the fangirls will never forgive us." Al mumbled.
"You know which ones you are." Edward looking at the camera with a smartass look on his face… "Fine Al have it your way… I remember it like it was two days ago.
"Al… Alphonse! Alphonse!? Well he's gone oh well now I'll get all the fangirls, teehee! Yes! Yes! Oh crap my legs gone... Teehee!"
Chapter 1: The two weirdos
[Fun Fact: My favorite thing I love to do when my labtop is on low is to scream and run around to find the charger.]
"Hey Alphonse wanna play a game?"
"Fine" Al said while hoping to play spin the bottle.
"Ok. I spy with my little eye something yellow."
"Let me guess sand," Al said angrily.
"How did you know?"
"Because we're in a dessert you idiot!" Al screamed.
"Oh yeah. Sand everywhere, so much sand that can't be turned into something lifesaving like pornography. Remind me Al to cut someone's hand off if they ever say sand… Al where the f*** did you go?"
(Al sticks his hand up through the sand)
"Here brother,"
"F***!" Edward screamed like a girl.
"Don't do that! I almost died!"
"Sorry but I'm made of hollow armor so I sink." Replied Al
"Oh we are finally here Al!"
"Were you even listening to me?"
"Hmm, what oh water come on Al! Wait, aw that's not water oh look Old Dude."
"Hi my name's Old F. Dude, but you can call me Old Dude for short. My mother gave me that name. So are you two street performers?" Old Dude asked.
"NO. Bye"
(Al knocks roof and radio falls)
"S***… D****t. Al, can't you go around for one day without breaking anything!" Ed yelled
[Fun facts: You can't spell grabby without gabby]
(Zap)
"Fixed it," replied Al.
"S*** … that was cool." Replied Old Dude.
"Watch your mouth old guy you don't see f*****g cussing all the d*** time!"
Guy on radio, "Be with god and in other news the small blondy hates the word sand. Guess what SAND M*****F****R! Hahaa ha ha!"
"Oh that dude is getting his hand cut off! And for now on if anyone calls me small, shorty, or midget their foot*cough cough* balls *cough* will be cut off! Got it!"
Crowd, "Got it,"
"Look at me coming in the scene at a random time," Rose implied.
"Who's that chick," Ed asked
"I'm Rose I help a fat guy so my boyfriend can come back to life. I'm not creepy at all."
"Ok… Was the fat guy on the radio just now?"
"Yes why?"
"No reason… But in any case can you take us to him?"
"Sure,"
"By the way Rose which hand is his favorite?" he asked,
"I think his left."
"Interesting," Ed mumbled.
(Church)
"Do you believe in god?" Rose asked
"NO!" Ed answered.
"Well if you believed he would make you taller b/c miracles do happen!"
"How bout I stick my foot up you're a$$."
Rose replied "I thought you would cut a foot off."
"Fine then,"
(Shnk)-cut
"Naaaagh!" Rose screamed.
Al freaked out "She wasn't saying that to be mean!"
"Oh, sorry,"
"Sorry you cut my foot off! My foot!"
"Hey I said I was sorry… Fine I'll fix it.
… (Zap)- Nothing F*****g happened b*****s!
[Fun Fact: Harry Styles has four nipples]
"So any way how can you honestly believe these things? Do you really believe that if you pray to god the dead will come back to life?"
"Yes. I do…"
"1 cup of butter, 1 cup of oil, 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of powdered sugar, 1 teaspoon of baking soda, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, 4 eggs, and 4 cups of flower.
Cream butter, oil, eggs, sugar, salt, and other sugar. Cook at 350 for 10 minutes."
"…huh?" Rose murmured.
"Brother that sounds like you want to make sugar cookies," said Al
"What else would I be saying a human. I'm hungry again. So where are my cookies?"
Rose and Alphonse, "Um."
"Besides there's a missing ingredient for a human and no scientist can get it."
(I peeked from the other room) You can't measure the amount for a human soul dumb***." (I disappear back to the darkness)
Al asked. "What was that?"
Ed replied, "I guess we will never know… Someday I'll find that missing ingredient."
(You hear a slap to my face in the darkness)
(Outside again)
"He made a flower… wow… Yup he's a fraud"
[Fun Fact: Taylor Swift is Satan… Trust me.]
Rose, "Grrr."
Al commented "That kind of transmutation has to be alchemy."
"That's what I thought too and he can bypass the laws for some reason and that's the problem" Ed replied.
"Hey I was gonna say that!"
"You snooze you lose Al. There's his hand. I think we've found it… Hey lady I'm starting to um get interested in this crappy-I mean awesome religion. I'd "love" to speak to that dushebag. I mean holiness, do you think you could take me to him?"
"Yay, so you're finally starting to believe!"
(In that one evil place)
Guard yelled "Die!" (Blam)
"D****t Al can't you go one day without getting your head shot off! I'll kill you both."
"OMG Al your empty!" yelled Rose
"Hey look a door." Said Ed.
Cornello yelled "You and your military can't stop me!"
Ed replied "ok."
Cornello yelled "what don't you care about your country?!"
"Nope. I just want to cut off your hand… and of course the philosopher's stone too."
"You and everyone else are idiots I fooled them all. Beat that."
"Bam I just did. Al show him."
(Al opened chest and Rose is there)
"You lied to us… so you can't bring my pimp back." Rose commented.
"Yes I can." Cornello replied
"Ok "
(Rose goes to him)
"Now, as for you, meet sweety, and die!"
"Looks like this one might be tough to play with empty handed. So…" Ed clapped
(Boom) (Pulls out a weapon)
"Here kitty…stab you die. Mwahahaaha! Hey guess what…I have a robot arm. Suck it. Prepare to lose your hand."