This is my first Avatar fic. Be gentle.
My theory of why Katara never told Aang she loved him.
Reviews welcomed even Flames. (I'm practising Firebending.)
"Katara?" he asked peering about the darkened room. Aang sighed, this was now the sixth room he'd searched since he discovered her missing and he was no closer to finding his wayward fiancée. Frustrated he continued to make his way through Toph's summer house. "Katara? Where are you?" he sing songed hoping his goofiness would dispel his unease.
Katara had been different with him lately. Avoiding him and refusing to meet his eyes.
He frowned, the expression foreign to his smooth face. He could feel the stress building and his tattoos began to light the hallway. 'Could she have changed her mind?' the thought ripped through him and he felt as if he'd been attacked a second time. As if Azula was making another hole. He stopped in the middle of corridor and took a cleansing breath as the glow faded. 'I just need to find Katara. I just need to find her.'
"I'm just going to check one more room if I don't find her--" he paused. If he didn't find her well he would get no sleep and the nightmares would return worse than before. He repressed a shudder and with a deep breath he opened the door.
The room was mostly dark and musty. White cloths draped the furniture and dust was settled on every available surface. A sliver of moonlight penetrated the gloom just enough to let him see that Katara was not in the room. Disappointed he turned on his heel ready to depart to uneasy sleep.
"Aang?" he whipped around. The gust of wind he created slammed the balcony door open, revealing a pensive Katara.
He moved swiftly forward intent of sweeping her into his arms and kissing her until his doubts vanished back into the recesses of his mind. However as he neared her, Aang was halted in his tracks by her less than welcoming expression.
He snapped to a halt and stood in front of her studying her face. His heart dropped at the tell tale sign of tears. He reached out a hand but she turned away leaving him frozen in midair. "This is bad isn't it?"
Katara didn't acknowledge his comment choosing instead to stare up at the source of her power. Even with the pain he was feeling Aang couldn't help but admire how beautiful she looked bathed in her master's light. "Katara, you can talk to me about anything. Anything at all." he gulped stepping forward again.
"Can I Aang? Can I really?" she snapped her head around to face him and her long braid smacked his face.
He didn't flinch as looked back at her. His gray eyes luminous and saddened to see her hurting. "Yes, Katara anything at all. No matter how--painful." he moved next to her but far away enough to give her the breathing room she so desperately needed. "Were friends first remember?" he shrugged the fear away.
She gazed at him but it took too much effort to look at those gray eyes and know she was going to extinguish their light. "Aang, I can't go through with this. I can't marry you." Katara cried covering her face to hide her sobs.
Aang gripped the railing. The meditative chants the monks had thought him a thousand years ago rushing through his head grasping at self control. The avatars within him were attempting to force back the anguish that was sure to bring forth his state. Katara gasped as she spied the white light through her fingers.
She stepped back frightened.
He had risen from the balcony floor, hovering in barely controlled rage. His avatar state highlighting the blue tattoos. He turned his entire body to face her and she backed up further. "Katara." he growled and she covered her ears as his distorted voices uttered her name.
"Katara, Why?" he cried and fell to the floor in a heap, his energy creating a tornado around him. The floorboards under them bending to his will. "Why Katara? Why?" The wind dissipated as soon as it arrived but he was still covered in the white light. She went down on her knees and tried to wrap her arms around him but he shoved her back and stood glaring down at her. He began to walk away but not before turning and viciously bending the wood underneath her feet.
She fell through but by some miracle managed to find something to hang on to. Hearing his footsteps she looked up. He sneered down at her and plucked her hand from the wood holding her up to his face. He leaned his face close and kissed her, the radiant arrow on his head blinding her. She felt him let go and she clawed at his robe but he flicked his wrist and a gust of wind spiraled from the raging sea below dragging her down into the darkness.
"AAAANNNNG." her scream echoing through the still night.
"Katara, Katara!" She burst from the dream and threw herself at the voice calling to her.
"It's ok. It was just a nightmare. You're ok. I'm here." he whispered to the still trembling girl in his arms. Katara sobbed into his shirt. Sokka and Suki came barging in followed closely by a grumbling Toph. Zuko and Mai brought up the disgruntled rear.
"What happened? Is Katara alright?" Sokka slid to his knees attempting to pull Katara from Aang. His sister refused to let go. Aggravated he tugged harder putting one foot on Aang's back nearly stepping on his scar.
"Sokka! Stop you moron. You're gonna hurt Aang." Suki snapped smacking him on the shoulder and prying him off the poor Avatar. Suki then tried gently to extract Katara but she just wrapped her arms more determinately around the poor boy.
"Enough, leave them be." Zuko said breaking up the tug of war between the silent waterbender and the Kyoshi warrior.
"Zuko's right. It was just a nightmare. Don't worry. I'll take care of it." Aang assured Sokka who was just realizing that his baby sister was sleeping in the same room as her fiancée.
"Hey wait a minute. What is --" Sokka's accusation was cut short as a deeply annoyed Zuko dragged him backwards. "Let's go Sokka. Mai and I want sleep. You can grill him in the morning."
"But, but…" A smirking Toph closed the door behind them wagging her fingers at Aang. Blushing profusely Aang was silently thankful of Zuko's cantankerous nature. Katara was still clinging to him and his leg was beginning to grow numb. He gathered her into his arms and easily air bended them to a sofa.
She didn't move at first so he arranged them on the sofa believing her to be asleep. "Aang. I'm so sorry." she whispered.
Her breath tickled his neck bringing him back from his nearly sleepy state. "It's ok. I don't really need that much sleep." he muttered stroking her hair. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked her. Katara took a shuddering breath and mumbled into his neck. "I can't understand you." he chuckled and spun them a bit.
She yelped but didn't relinquish her hold. "Do you remember when we saw The Boy in the Iceberg."
Aang stiffened beneath her and Katara finally emerged from his shoulder. "Yeah. Great memories those. Great thing to talk about the day before our wedding." he uttered dejectedly. He sat up and placed her off him and onto the couch. He got up from the couch and faced the window of their room.
Katara bit her lip not sure what she was doing but needing to do it. Her nightmare was proof that this was something that needed to be taken care off. She didn't want to start her marriage with it hanging over her head. "Do you remember when you kissed me and I yelled at you."
"I remember." he answered softly.
"I was confused but not about you." she said gauging his reaction. Aang was still standing in the middle of the room as if she had frozen him to the spot. His back was to her and she knew he was attempting to stay composed, contemplating her response.
"These nightmares. Well they were about that." she gulped preparing to confess what she'd been hiding from him for years. "I hate that you're the Avatar."
Aang looked back at her confusion marring his features. Katara sprung from the couch. She encircled him. Her front pressed to his back absorbing his warmth. She pressed her face to his tattoo, her lips placing a kiss on the blue line running down his spine. He shivered but remained still. "I don't understand. Being the Avatar is a part of what makes me who I am. Do you hate part of me then?" he asked a little hurt.
She shook her head sending tingling sensations through his body as her dark tresses caressed his skin. "I didn't want to admit that I loved you then. I was so afraid you wouldn't come back. I kept remembering Azula's lighting strike and how I barely caught you." the tears trickled down her face soaking the scar that had remained of that attack.
"I knew you had to defeat Fire Lord Ozai but I didn't want to tell you I loved you and distract you again." she cried. Her fingers clasped across his abdomen but Aang pulled them loose and turned to hug her.
"Distract me?" he asked lifting her face to his.
"You told me you tried to let go of me and that was why you were able to enter the Avatar state again. I was terrified that if I told you I loved you that you'd be thinking of that. I didn't want to give Ozai a chance to hurt you. I didn't have anymore spirit water. I just couldn't bear being the cause of your demise. I just couldn't." she ended on a sob.
Aang kissed the top of her head. He cupped her face and leaned down to kiss her softly. "I managed to defeat Ozai because of you." she blinked at him and he continued. "I figured even if you didn't love me then I could at least remain a friend. I had to make sure the world was safe for all of us. I stood my ground for you and Toph and Sokka and Suki. Even Suko and Mai. I love all of you and was what helped me defeat them. Well that and a few thousand years of past live battle experiences." he grinned at her.
Katara felt the guilt slide from off her giving her room to breathe and truly enjoy his presence for the first time since that horrible night on Ember Island. "So you never answered my question." he prompted.
"Did you love me then?" he asked a shy smile gracing his face.
Katara could still see the uncertainty of the thirteen year old boy that had gone to battle not knowing that she had loved him just as much as he loved her. It twisted her heart to think that he still carried a bit of that uncertainty now even at nineteen years of age. "What do you think?" she asked lowering his head to capture his lips with her own.
"Yes." he whispered against her mouth. "I think you did."
"I did and I do. More than ever." she whispered back before drawing him towards their bed.
"Katara, I love you." he said slowly lowering her to the bed.
"I know. I love you too, Aang. I always have. Since you were the boy in the iceberg." she grinned and he laughed out loud. They clung to each other, kissing and touching until his restraint was nearly eroded.
"We have to stop." he said closing his eyes and panting hard against her chest.
"Tomorrow, Avatar Aang. Tomorrow I'll show you how much I love you." she snuggled into his side and was rewarded by his pained groan. Tonight she would enjoy just being held.
For tomorrow she was determined that their dreams would be only the sweetest.