Genre: Game
Category: Guilty Gear
Summary: A parody of the classic tale featuring our Holy Knight, Ky Kiske! Hilarity and confusion ensue
Disclaimer: Hm…Nope, still don't own Guilty Gear. If I did, the X-verse would still be alive!
Warnings: Crossdressing, more OOC-ness and shounen-ai implications! Yay! And language. Lots of language (No thanks to Sol XP)
Notes: I'm starting to see a trend with me writing Alice parodies with all my favorite animes and games… And now it's Guilty Gear's turn! I've decided to use Ky's GG2:O appearance (a.k.a the long hair) when he's in Wonderland and have also inputted the Overture cast in the fic along with some of the X-verse cast. If the Overture cast is a little OOC, I don't really care because I always do that
On another note, I have a feeling that I will butcher this story to death by meshing both the movie and the original book together (Not to mention getting the order of events wrong). So I'll go get something to protect myself from the wrath of you readers :rushes off:
"Oh my God; what happened!?"
Ky looked to be in shock. But then again, you would too if you found were in his position. At the moment, Ky was wearing a blue dress. Nothing too fancy, just a simple blue dress with a white pinafore. The dress skirt stopped at around a few centimeters past his knees. He also had semi-loose white socks with black dress shoes. But fortunately for him, he was wearing shorts underneath the dress that can't be seen unless some pervert passes by and flips the skirt. Ky also noted that his hair grew down a little bit past his shoulders, making him look more feminine (and the pink ribbon-headband doesn't help in the least.)
He also wasn't in the main building of the IFP Headquarters anymore… He was in a rather strange room, with magenta colored walls and a black-and-white checkered floor. Above him was a tunnel thing that reached up a far distance—so far that he can't even see the exit hole.
"Where…am I?"
"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!"
"Huh?"
Turning around, a figure immediately ran by, nearly ramming into the confused blonde. Ky soon did a double-take when he thought he saw the fleeting image of…
"Sol!?"
Indeed the one who passed by was Sol Badguy. However, he was wearing what seemed like—were those rabbit ears?—on top of his head.
"I'm late, I'm late, for a stupid, stupid date!" he ranted, constantly looking at a pocket watch he somehow acquired. He just couldn't believe that this was Sol Badguy! After all, it'd be the apocalypse before Sol would let anyone put something like that on his head, "Damn, damn, damn, damn, shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
Okay, maybe now he can believe it a little bit.
"Sol, wait!"
This whole situation was confusing and would make any sane mind go crazy (Ky's sanity was already starting to go out the metaphorical window). He needed answers and he needed them now. So Ky ran like the wind in pursuit of the bunny-eared Badguy.
It seemed like the chase was in vain because as soon as Ky turned a corner, Sol-bunny was gone. The hall he was currently in was dizzyingly white and the lantern posts hanging from the wall didn't help. The only exit he could see was a door that was all the way on the other side of the room. The blonde doubted that the pyro-turned-man-rabbit could go that fast. Slightly irritated, he marched to the door and found that it was locked.
Ky gave an exasperated huff before high-kicking the door. The wood had splintered into tiny pieces at the force of the Frenchman's kick. He was satisfied with the result, but soon came to realize that the passage the door hid was no bigger than a rat-hole. Ky knelt down and peeked through the tiny keyhole, seeing a garden lovelier than those in Paris.
"Hm… How to get to the other side…"
He sat back, knees starting to ache a bit from kneeling down. As he did, he accidentally hit his head on something.
"Ow!" Ky rubbed the spot where he had hit his head. Turning around, he saw a small table behind him. The man wondered how the table appeared out of no where like that, but waved it off soon enough. Getting up, he looked at the tabletop and noticed a little bottle that was labeled "DRINK ME" in bold letters. Picking up the bottle, he examined it for signs of it being poison or the like. When he concluded that it was safe, he opened the cap and took a sip.
"Huh… It tastes like honeyed tea…" The blonde stated before finishing it off. Then, he started to feel a bit tingly, "Goodness, what a curious feeling… Wait, what the-!?"
Before he knew it, the blonde officer found himself to be only three inches tall. At least I can go through, he thought. The door came into view. Sighing, Ky kicked it to pieces again before going through at last.
"Wow, everything's so big!" the man exclaimed. The garden was beautiful, yes, but also fifteen times larger than it should be. Considering that he was only three inches tall, it made a margin of sense in this nonsensical world. He pushed a few blades of grass out of his way, only to find himself yelping as they sprung back and knocked him down. Undaunted, he gave it another try and went through.
Within a few minutes, Ky declared himself officially lost. Sighing in defeat, he briefly prayed to the Lord for guidance. With the 'Amen' to mark the prayer's end, he looked up past the towering grass into the narrow streak of the sky that he can see.
Something caught his eye.
He squinted, trying to avoid direct contact with the sun above. But he saw it. Little smoke circles were rising, floating by and fading away in intervals of seven seconds. He gave a small grin before dashing off in the direction of where he saw the smoke rise, mentally thanking God for listening to his plea.
After a few more problems with the grass and their new found characteristic of springiness, Ky finally reached a small clearing. At the center was a large mushroom—as tall as he was at the moment, and that did not even count the umbrella of the fungus. A creature was sitting on top of it, smoking a hookah of some sort before engrossing himself with books. The blonde slightly cocked his head to the side, trying to figure out what the creature was and also why he was within a translucent green bubble. It looked like a mix of a bird and a lizard. Ky walked over to the mushroom and stood on his toes, peering at the being who was too caught up with his texts.
Minutes passed before the creature caught a glimpse of the blue eyes that were staring at him (was it of male gender, Ky had wondered as he patiently waited) with mild amazement. He (Ky just decided on it being male) was certainly caught off guard—he gave a startled yelp at the blonde's sudden appearance. The officer gave a mental chuckle as the creature regained his composure.
Fixing the glasses he had, he asked, "Who are you?"
"Ky Kiske, sir. Though I hardly know anymore if I'm still myself, since I changed so many times." Ky replied. Not to mention all my sense and sanity had left me when I first came, he thought to himself.
"What should you mean by that? Elaborate, if you would."
"Ah? Well, I… don't know how to put it… I just found myself in this predicament, you see."
"I don't see."
The blue-eyed Frenchman frowned a bit. He explained that he didn't know how to put it more clearly and how the changing-of-sizes dilemma was very confusing. Mr. Bird-lizard replied that it wasn't confusing at all. At this time, Ky was more confused than before, with a small feeling of irritation creeping up. He then stated that it still felt queer to him. It was then that the birdy-lizard-creature-thing asked who he was, leading them back to the beginning of the conversation. Ky's irritation rose a bit more before he asked, "Shouldn't you tell me who you are first?"
"Why?" It was another puzzling question that the blonde had no answer to. Seeing that this conversation will go no where, the man turned around to leave
"Hold! I've something important to tell you!" Now that sounded promising. Ky turned on his heel to face the creature, waiting, "Mind your temper."
…Temper?
"But…I barely have a bad temper, Mr. Bird-"
"I am not a bird; I am a dragon!" he corrected, indignantly, "And if you must refer to me by a name, then call me Dr. Paradigm."
Well, that's one question answered, "Alright, then. Is that all, Dr. Paradigm?"
"No."
Ky thought that he might as well wait; he'd already lost Sol, so it wasn't like he had anything else to do. Perhaps he might tell him something worth hearing this time. Dr. Paradigm had put the hookah back in his mouth for a bit and resumed perusing through his books. For some minutes, it went on like that—silence except for the occasional page turn and puff of a ringlet of smoke. But at last, he took out the hookah and looked up to face the man, "Just how long will you stand there?"
"I know not the answer, Dr. Paradigm. Maybe you can tell me. Then again, maybe not." If Paradigm was going to be vague, then he had the liberty to be vague as well. The green "dragon" sighed and got off the mushroom, his books and the hookah suddenly disappearing. He seemed to have gotten the hint, as well as the question that needed to be answered.
"One side will make you grow taller and the other vice-versa." He said, leaving
"One side of what? The mushroom?" the blonde asked. The question fell on deaf ears—Dr. Paradigm had already left. Ky remained, looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a moment. How was he supposed to figure out which sides were the two sides if the mushroom was circular? He frowned at the difficult question, but went with picking two pieces off random sides of the mushroom with one hand each.
"Okay…Now which is which…?"
He took a small bite off one piece. Before he knew it, his shoulders were underneath the clusters of leaves and branches of the tallest tree there. Startled, he tried to bring his hand up to where his mouth was and took a bite out of the other piece. He shrank again (which had hurt quite a lot due to the branches) but back to his three-inches-tall height. Not one to be fazed, he thought about how he could revert back to his normal size. He glanced down at the portion which made him taller. With the gears in his mind turning, he took a lick. And just like that, he was at his regular height.
"Ah, finally!" the officer said, stretching his arms. He started to walk forward, "Now, to get out of here."
However, he suddenly fell through a hole in the ground. The Frenchie screamed, instinctively placed his hands to flatten the bottom part of the dress, which had been rippling around wildly due to the fall down the hole. When he finally fell out, he immediately splashed into a body of raging water, back-first. The skirt of Ky's dress had proved to be an embarrassing problem again, puffing out from the impact into the water. He soon surfaced after fixing the problem.
"Who knew dresses were such a constant nuisan-whoa!" A large wave forced him back underwater. He was starting to get even more irritated than he originally was in the beginning. But Dr. Paradigm had told him to mind his temper, so he took a moment to calm down. Surfacing once more, he searched for something that would serve as a raft or a boat. His eyes soon landed on a giant teacup drifting aimlessly on the water.
Wait…Giant teacup?
He mentally sighed. All logic went out the window so it seemed to fit the parameters of this place, if it had any at all. Not wanting to meet with another large wave, he started to swim towards it—something that wasn't so easy when you're a male forced to wear a dress. Ky had managed though and soon climbed into the teacup.
"Phew…That was certainly troublesome…Now if only I had an oar…" he said to himself, wringing water out of his clothes. He spotted a glint from the corner of his eye. Turning, he saw a large spoon floating by. Ky raised an eyebrow before sighing, "How did I not know…?"
Picking up the spoon, he started to row towards the shore. Call it luck or instinct—the man knew not how he knew where shore was. However, he eventually reached land. Stepping out of the teacup, he took a minute to get used to walking on land again after the wavy experience in the sea. Another sight caught his attention—people running around in circles. A race of some sort, maybe? He then focused on who was participating in this odd race.
"The Jellyfish Pirates?"
Their clothes and faces were unmistakable. Johnny was ahead, encouraging his crew to go round and round once more. Ky found it best to try to leave the shore unnoticed and ran into the forest that neighbored the coast.
"Hm, that was odd…" he mused out loud, "But in retrospect, everything in this place is odd… Oh! I almost forgot about Sol!" he exclaimed, putting a finger to the side of his chin in thought, "Then again, he might already be far away from where I am…"
Sighing, he started to venture deeper into the forest. The blue-eyed man looked down at his moist attire. If anyone else sees him like this, he would've had to hide away in his house while somehow finding a way to work in his office. (He remembered something about a certain Japanese comic series back in the 2000s—there had been a police officer—no, wait, it was a detective with policemen cooperating with him—who didn't work at a police station or detective agency. What was it called again?—Killer Letter or something like that? Well, on any case, maybe he could do that.)
A few minutes later, he just wanted to go home. He didn't know how or what he had to do, he just wanted out of this godforsaken forest. Trying to keep his calm, Frenchman saw an odd sight. Two men who looked almost alike stood at the base of a tree, each with an arm around the other's neck. They simply stood (and they didn't blink, either!—at least it seemed that way to Ky).
One of them looked exactly like Axl Low—clothes, bandanna and all. The other one had a similar face, but was a pale lavender-blue color (the same would go for his hair, only in a lighter shade). It was very peculiar.
"Um…Excuse me?" he started, approaching them
"Yes?" the two replied in unison, adding an elongated emphasis at the 'eh' sound in the word.
"Do, uh, you happen to know how I can get out of this forest?"
"Ne, you started all wrong!" Axl exclaimed, wagging his finger in a 'No-no' sort of way, "First thing you do is say 'How d'ya do?' and shake hands! Right, Raven?"
The other one, Raven, nodded in agreement. The two brothers gave each other a hug and then they held out their two free hands to shake with the newcomer. Ky was a bit hesitant but he didn't want them to feel offended. Best way out of this was to shake both hands at once, which he did. The next moment, though, they were dancing around in a ring. He was certainly caught off guard, but he went along with it. The three went on for a while, but soon Axl and Raven tired and stopped, trying to catch their breath.
"I do hope you're not much tired." Ky said to them
Axl grinned, "Nope. And thank you so very much for asking!"
"Much obliged." Raven said, slightly monotone, "Do you like poetry?"
"Um…some…" he answered hesitantly, "Can you please tell me the way out of this forest?"
"So, Raven, what shall we recite?" Axl asked his brother, obviously ignoring Ky's question
"The Witch and The Maker seems to be long enough." Raven answered. His brother's grin grew and he immediately started,
"All was dark in the metal prison
Of a former laboratory
And there, all alone, was the Maker
Stripped of any sort of glory
The Witch came in, looking for the Maker
And found him bound in chains
Past the debris of the building
And what's left of his research's remains
So the Witch went and set him free
And the Maker showed her his gratefulness
But she simply rolled her eyes,
Not very impressed
She thought him pathetic,
Finding him a prisoner there
He told her his views and how things went wrong,
But the Witch didn't care
"Spare me the crybaby talk!"
The Witch angrily roared
"Why did you come here?" the Maker asked
And the Witch replied, "Because I was bored."
"Thought I'd meet you and make it Game Over."
She told him, straightforwardly
"Game over? What is it you aim?"
"Recreation, can't you see!?"
The Maker didn't understand
But the Witch ignored him and his talk of 'sin'
Because she was starting the performance
And the show was about to begin
The Witch took a look above through a window
And exclaimed, "Whoa! Amazing!"
For there was a battle occurring on an airship
Between a man wielding fire and a girl with wings
"Is this the will of god? Perhaps the world will be saved after all."
"You talking about survival of the fittest?" the Witch inquired
"That is no more than a realization." He answered
"Haha, guess you're not so boring after all." And she offered to fix this situation so dire
"However, the stage has to be flashier." She said afterwards
"What are you saying?" the Maker asked while the Witch gave him a smirk
"Can't do it often, but I can change the past."
She replied, but the Maker didn't think it would work
"Don't joke," he told her,
"To create such a paradox on such a level is impossible."
"I don't bother with theory; just watch." And with that he did
"This power…Temporal change!" he shouted, finding it incredible
She went back to the past to take care of things
"See you later; be back soon!" the Witch said before she went
The Maker simply stood and waited
Wondering how he could repent"
"…Okay…" In all honesty, Ky found the poem to be very awkward. Though the 'man wielding fire and the girl with wings' bit reminded him oddly enough of Sol and Dizzy, "That was very, uh, nice…But can either of you tell me how to get out of-?"
"C'mon, sit down for another!" Axl and Raven grabbed his wrists and pulled him towards a tree stump where he could sit down. However, the blonde forced himself out of their grip.
"I don't really have time to listen to any more…" he said, trying to inch his way out of their sight
"No time? There's always time!" The brothers tried to grab him once more, but Ky parried their lunging hands and ran. He glanced back for a split second and saw that they made no attempt for a chase. He slowed down his pace to a walk when he was far enough. He didn't know how much more of this world he can take.
Ky kept walking through the seemingly endless forest, wondering if he'll ever find a way out. Soon, he started seeing signs that pointed in all different directions. The blonde had to fight his senses in order not to visibly twitch. 'Mind your temper,' the Doctor had said. Well, then, maybe some anger management is in order.
He rammed the side of his fist into the nearest tree.
Taking a deep breath, the Frenchman slowly separated his hand from the now-dented surface of the tree. He rubbed the side that had made the impact as he started walking again, trying his best to ignore the many signs. Soon, he had hit a dirt road and quickened his pace by a bit. However, to his dismay, it only lead to a crossroad with more arrows pointing several more directions.
Ky blinked and comically hung his head, groaning.
"I'm starting to believe I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my li- Oh my God!"
He almost jumped three feet in the air—when he had looked up, he found the face of a young man staring right at him with a grin larger than Axl's. The boy was about his height with blonde somewhat-spiky hair. He also had white-and-blue clothing that matched well with his blue eyes (or, rather, eye since his left eye was covered with a strange looking eye patch). What was odd was that the boy had cat ears sporting out of the top of his head and a tail that was slowly swaying from side to side (and not to mention, he oddly looked much like how he was when he was younger).
The boy's grin seemed to grow at the sight of his surprise.
"Haha, startled you, didn't I?" the cat-boy asked. Ky was still recovering from the initial shock and was unable to respond for a few seconds, "Surprised? Confused? Both? Good; as I intended!"
"Um…Just who exactly are you?" he asked. The boy (alright, he looked more in his late teens) put a finger to the side of his chin in thought.
"Huh…Who indeed…" The cat-teen gave a mock-sigh and grinned again, "Well, call me Sin."
Ky raised an eyebrow and Sin just smiled more, "Okay…Sin…Do you know a way out of this forest?"
"Hm…Out of the forest, out of the forest…" the teen mused, "Well, it shouldn't really matter which way you go; you'll get out if you walk far enough."
This was really getting complicated.
"Oh, by the way, if you really wanna know, he went that-a way."
Ky was confused, "Who did?"
"That guy with the white bunny ears. Y'know, the one cursing and all."
Now there was something, "He did!?"
"Who did?"
"Sol!"
Sin gave him a funny look (but he could see the mischievous glint in his visible eye), "Sol? Who's that?"
The blonde really felt like banging his head on a tree trunk. Either that, or pulling a stun edge on the boy to wipe that look off his face.
"But," he started, elongating the 'u', "if I was looking for someone by that name, I would go ask the Mad Hatter. He lives over yonder." The boy told him, pointing to his right. "Or! If you prefer, you can go to the March Hare in the other way. It doesn't really matter much; they're both mad."
"I'm…not sure if I'd like that…"
Sin shrugged, "Can't help that—we're all mad here. I'm mad; you're mad…"
"And how are you able to tell that?"
The teen shook his head in an 'Oh my god, are you that stupid?' way, "If you weren't, then you wouldn't be here. Besides, I'm sure you must be losing it by now."
"If that's the case, wouldn't it be called insanity instead of being mad?"
"Call it what you want." He said, shrugging again. And with that, Sin vanished from sight in an instant. Ky blinked before sighing (he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, but could you blame him?). He looked to his left and then to his right, contemplating on which way to go. Finally, he chose the path to his left—the March Hare.
After walking some more, he wound up stumbling across a clearing. It was oddly lit for being placed in the middle of a dark forest. In that clearing was a long table with towers and towers of teacups, plates and other tea-time settings. There were many chairs that surrounded the table, but there were only two people present—both looked very, very familiar.
"…I know I should be used to it by now, but Anji Mito, Baiken Seishino and Chipp Zanuff?"
Familiar, indeed! Anji somehow sprouted a pair of rabbit ears just like Sol, Chipp had traded in his ninja garb for aristocratic-looking garments and a top hat, and Baiken sported mouse-like ears. They were moving around the table, shouting and singing (badly) about "Happy Unbirthdays" or something (Though he noted that Baiken looked a bit drunk). He didn't really want to talk to them, in order to avoid what other nonsensical trouble he would get into next, but he was curious as to where Sol went, so…
"Um, excuse me?"
"HOLY ZEN, WHERE'D YOU COME FROM!?" Chipp shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Ky. Anji stopped singing and raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the newcomer.
"You know, it's quite rude to come in uninvited." The chocolate-haired hare-man stated a-matter-of-factly, with Baiken whining about the lack of sake in the background
"Uh…Yes, well…" he trailed off, as Anji handed him a cup of tea (which was quite a confusing gesture, considering the man just chided him about his supposed rudeness.), "Ah, thank you."
"Hey, hey, move down, move down!" The albino suddenly cried out, shoving our poor blonde into another seat. Meanwhile Baiken found an entire jug of the rice wine and Anji was shouting with glee. Ky moved down as requested, but as he was about to take a sip of his tea, the chocolate-haired Japanese-rabbit took away the cup and gave him light pushes to another seat.
"Huh!?" The routine proceeded for a few minutes—shouting about random things, being shoved into another place before the blue-eyed unintentional-crossdresser could drink anything, and all the while, the other three were slowly getting piss drunk. Before long, Ky's patience was starting to wane.
"How about another cup of sake?" Anji offered.
"I'd, uh, love to, but I just haven't the time!" he replied, starting to get up from his spot.
"Time, time; who's got the time!?" Chipp yelled as loud as ever.
"THERE IS NO FUCKING TIME!" a voice from a distance shouted. Before long, Sol (still clad in rabbit ears) came running in, eyes still fixated on his pocket watch, "So fucking late!"
"Sol!"
While Sol was fretting over his lateness and how the hell he was going to get to his destination fast, Chipp yanked the watch out from his hands with a "Yoink!" Upon inspection, the albino made his analysis, "No wonder you're late; this thing's two days behind!"
"Two days; what the hell are you talking about?" Chipp dashed over to where Baiken was and gave her the watch for closer inspection. She took it and stared for a moment before slamming it on the table and hitting it with a hammer that she got from her hammer-space-esque sleeve. The gears, springs and other parts shot out from the golden casing and left the former pocket watch in shambles. Sol just stared at the pile of watch parts with a flat face before saying, "You know what; fuck this" before leaving.
"H-Hey, wait!" Ky said, running after him. And back into the forest he went! Again, the former Knight had to control his irritation at the constantly-mocking signs and started to aimlessly stick to one direction.
"Okay, I'm starting to get a bit tired of this place. I don't care anymore; I'm going to somehow find my way back to Paris, back to work and back home."
"Paris? What's that?"
"GAH!" he whipped around again, and spotted Sin lying casually on a tree branch, "Sin! It's you! …Stop doing that!"
"Who'd you expect? The white rabbit or something?" the boy-cat asked, yawning
Ky sighed, "No. I'm done with this chase. I'm going home. But I can't seem to find my way."
"'Course you can't. All the ways here are the Queen's ways." The blonde said a-matter-of-factly, turning to lie stomach-down on the branch with a lazy smile on his face.
"Really, now? Hm. I've never met with a Queen before." Ky mused out loud (ignoring Sin's exclamations of "You haven't? C'mon, you gotta! You just gotta!"), "How do you suppose I find her?"
"Well, some go this way, others go that way, but as for me, I prefer shortcuts." He summoned a blue denim flag from thin air and thwacked the trunk of the tree he was in. Some of the bark fell off and revealed a sort of open doorway, into another garden. Feeling that his helping quota for now was filled, Sin disappeared again. Ky was too busy blinking at the new path to notice he was gone. Soon, he stepped inside.
"GEARS!?" Yes, there were Gears everywhere. However, none seemed to have noticed him yet. That is, until a looming shadow fell over his body. Blue eyes widened as he turned around to come face to face with a Megadeath class Gear. Before he could do anything, the Gear picked him up by the collar of his dress and started to make his way towards a castle.
"J-Justice!? I thought we killed you!"
"SILENCE!!" The Queen, who was apparently Justice, roared, "Head up, speak nicely, and fix your posture! Curtsy. Open your mouth a little wider, and always say 'Yes, Your Majesty!'"
He was doing all her instructions as she gave them out and managed to stutter, "Y-Yes, Your Majesty!" at the end. It was quite awkward for him to be taking orders from the Mother Gear, especially when said Mother Gear was supposed to be—Oh, I don't know—dead.
"Now then, where did you come from, and where are you going?" she asked. Ky was starting to get nervous, but just a tad.
"I was, uhm, hoping to find my way home and—"
"Your way? All ways here are my ways."
"Y-Yes, I know that, but I was just thinking—"
"Curtsy while you think; saves time."
"O-Of course, Your Majesty," he said, while curtsying (oh, what such a simple gesture did to his pride), "but I was only going to ask if—"
For the third time he was interrupted, only with an indignant yell of, "I'll be the only one asking questions! Tell me, do you know how to fight?"
Not wanting to be interrupted again, Ky merely nodded. Queen Justice seemed pleased, "Then let the match begin!"
"WHAT!?" the other Gears moved out of the way—the entire room was to be set as an arena. The same Megadeath who'd captured the blonde Frenchie handed him his weapon in battle—a giant spoon (the same one he used as an oar earlier). Ky grabbed hold of his 'weapon', "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!!"
Justice started to advance, her weapon (a giant axe brought by one of her servant Gears) held menacingly in her hands…claws…whatever the hell they are. Ky jumped back to increase the distance between them and made several Stun Edges. He was somewhat surprised he could still use his lightning techniques with an oversized spoon, but it was better than nothing. Few of the attacks actually hit her, but she was enraged nevertheless. The Queen then brought the axe over her head and started to charge after him. The blonde's eyes widened before he started to run away from her, screaming.
If only they could see him now: The great hero of the Crusades, Ky Kiske, running away from a Gear, in a dress, carrying a large eating utensil over his shoulder.
As he was running, Sin appeared out of nowhere and started floating after him, flag over his shoulder, "So, how are you getting on?"
"NOT THE TIME!!" the dress-wearing fighter shouted
"Pardon?" Sin said, putting a hand to his ear, "Couldn't hear that."
"I SAID NOT THE TIME; GO AWAY!!" Unbeknownst to him, Sin already disappeared before Justice could see.
"Who are you talking to!?" she asked in a demanding tone.
"I don't know WHAT he is; he's a teenage boy with cat appendages and a flag!"
"What!? Where!?"
"Right here!"
Justice glared, not seeing anything, "Don't mock me; I see nothing!!"
Seeing that he only fueled her rage, Ky ran faster. Justice made a great lunge and swung her axe at him. He dodged and used the flat end of the axe to help him jump over the Queen. The blue-eyed man was about to attack her with a Vapor Thrust, when he saw Sin behind her, smiling mischievously with his flag angled.
"W-wait, Sin!"
But it was too late. Justice turned around and went to charge after him, but wound up tripping on Sin's flagpole. The younger blonde laughed as he disappeared, and Ky suddenly had a feeling of impending doom. Justice got back up from her fall, and grabbed her axe, looking none too happy. (Or at least, that's the impression she gave because, after all, she didn't really have a face.)
"Someone's head will roll for that!! Yours!!" As Ky started to sprint away again, she gave chase, "Get back here, you wretched girl!!"
"But I'm a man!!" he said, trying to find an exit out of the room. To his dismay, all doors were sealed. Justice only got angrier at his defiance. Ky mentally slapped himself.
"Wait a minute; why am I running!?" he turned to his opponent and with a determined face, gave her his best Ride The Lightning technique. As the two fought, Sin appeared, floating over them, waving his flag and cheering for the older blue-eyed blonde, "Go, Ky! Show that scrappy, bellicose, militant, ornery, I-wanna-fucking-behead-you-bitch-so-DIE, cantankerous—"
"I get it, already! You're not helping!!"
Sin pouted a manly pout, "It's the thought that counts, y'know."
All of the sudden, one of the doors exploded with a massive fireball coming from the doorway. Justice and Ky backed from their weapon-locked positions as the flame whizzed by, barely missing them.
"You fucking BITCH!" a voice yelled from the entrance, "I am going to KILL YOU!!" A blur or red and dark brown shot in from the door, a trail of fire following behind him. Ky definitely did not need another second to recognize who that was.
"Hey, it's old man Badguy!" Sin exclaimed with glee. If Sol hadn't been too busy pulling Gunflames, Volcanic Vipers, Bandit Revolvers, Tyrant Raves, Riot Stamps and Sidewinders, he would have yelled at Sin about how he should shut up before he gets another ass-kicking. Ky just stepped away.
Later on, Justice was done with and all her lesser servants ran away, because they were all pansies. Sol (still stepping on the Queen's body) scratched the back of his rabbit ears. Sin came down to the ground and started cheering at his victory.
"Yeah! You did it! You beat that sc—!"
"If you start using a train of adjectives again, I'm going to hurt you."
The flag-wielding teen looked slightly crestfallen, "Aw…"
"Um… Thanks for helping me out with that…" Ky said, "Although I do think you overdid it…"
Sol looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He clicked his tongue and started to walk towards the blue-eyed Frenchman. Confused and starting to get a bit nervous, Ky slowly stepped back. But Sol got his wrist and picked him up, hoisting him over his shoulder.
"S-Sol!?"
"Heheh, nice shorts, Ky!" Sin said, snickering. Ky blushed a very deep red.
"C'mon, holy boy, loosen up… You'll need to, if you want this to be as painless as possible." Sol said, walking out the door.
"W-wait, WHAT!?"
"Mmph…"
As soon as something else besides black invaded his vision, his head immediately shot up from where he had rested it on his desk. Ky looked around and found himself in his office, papers scattered around his usually neat desk. Running a hand through his hair, he found the blonde locks to be short. Looking down at his clothing, he saw that it was his same old uniform from the Seikishidan. He finally breathed a sigh of relief and pinched the bridge of his nose. That had got to be the craziest dream he had ever had.
"Ky?"
His head turned to the side, where he saw his coworker standing at the door. The younger brunette looked at him, a bit concerned.
"What is it, Isaac?"
"You've been here at the office for three nights straight without any sleep. I think you're pushing yourself a bit too much." He said, coming in
The blonde thought about the dream he had. It was probably caused by sleep deprivation. Before he knew it, Isaac had lifted him out of his seat and was pushing him towards the door. He tried to protest, but the three all-nighters he had pulled drained him of his energy. Isaac saw this and said,
"Come on, Ky; I know you want to get this case finished as soon as humanly possible, but even you have to get some sleep."
If there was one thing Isaac Delacroix was good at, it was being stubborn. Well, one night of rest couldn't hurt, right?
"Okay, okay…I'll go home."
The two walked down the hallway and into the main lobby, where other officers were bustling around. Ky's green-eyed friend led him to the exit and gave a small shove out.
"You go catch some Z's tonight, Kiske. And come back tomorrow when you feel like waking up, okay?"
"Mm-hm." Ky made his way down the stairs of the IPF headquarters
"A tout à l'heure, Ky!" Isaac had called before going back inside the building.
"Hm?"
Reddish-brown eyes shifted to the side and caught a speck of blonde headed his way. A smirk sneaking its way in his expression, he casually leaned against a lamp post, waiting for the person to come close by.
Ky looked ahead and saw the last person he wanted to see. Mentally groaning, he noticed the smug look on the person's face.
"Well, if it isn't holy boy Kiske."
"Hello Sol." He greeted indifferently, walking past the man with no effort of a retort. The smirk on Sol's face disappeared and was replaced by a questioning eyebrow. The brunette went after him and slowed down to walk beside him.
"What's with you?" he asked the Frenchman, "Usually you'd be the one to pick a fight. And this time, not even a 'shut up.' You depressed or something?"
"No…Just tired."
It felt odd to just start a regular conversation with Sol. No raised voices, no anger, just…talk. It was weird. Of course, this wasn't the first time. There were a few other rare occasions where the two would just talk about things and not fight at all (save for the sporadic debates, but that barely happened as well). And after that dream, it felt even more awkward. Ky remembered the last part that happened before he woke up. The boy stopped walking for a moment and just stood there, blinking at the thought. His pyromaniac of a companion noticed this and halted his steps as well. The elder man saw his acquaintance shaking his head with slight aggravation.
"…Okay, what the hell happened at work?"
"I…had the weirdest dream ever." He hesitantly replied, before the blue-eyed officer started walking again. Sol continued after him also.
"What, did it involve you cross-dressing or something?" If it were any ordinary day, that would've counted as an insult. But due to the comment of a crazy dream, the bounty hunter was merely guessing
"No…but a lot of the people we know were in it." He explained, "You were there too."
Okay; now Sol was interested, "Oh? And what the hell would I be doing in your dream?"
The blonde reddened a bit, "Nothing. Just…forget it."
The pyro decided not to push, "Alright, alright…"
The two continued to walk. When they had hit the edge of the residential area, Sol slowed down.
"You can go on without me, can't you? Wasted a bit of time around in Paris, anyway; gotta get going."
"Yeah, I guess…" Ky said, half-asleep. He was so tired that he hadn't seen the light post in front of him. Needless to say, the collision had hurt. The pyro couldn't help but wince at the impact.
"On second thought…Maybe I should walk you home so you don't get run over or anything…"
"Good idea…"
Haha, I fail at poems :D
That has got to be the crappiest and most rushed ending ever XD. Anyway, this is a giftfic I wound up writing for Sora-Mito on DeviantART! So happy birthday, Sora-chan!