I really have no idea why I kept imagining this situation, but I did. Maybe it's because all of the other Avengers got to do fun things, but all we know about what Bruce did is that he listened to Tony talk about himself in the Iron Man end credit scene. And thus, this was born. ENJOY!

~Es

Disclaimer: Seriously, if I were Stan Lee, I wouldn't waist my time writing fanfiction :)

Fury stared at the group of six people sitting around the table, where he was sitting at the head. He cleared his throat. "So," he began, "what's everyone been up to?" All he got were some very confused (and in Steve's case, concerned) stares. When he got no answer, he rolled his good eye behind his new sunglasses, and said, "Fine, I'll start. I got shot and almost died. I didn't, though, but I'm still pretending to be dead to trick HYDRA! Stark, you're next!"

Tony gave Fury a look that clearly said, 'you're-batshit-crazy'. He cleared his throat. "Um, let's see. I stopped the Mandarin and his extrimists, Pepper got temporary super powers, I blew up all my Iron Man suits, and I got the arc reactor out of my chest."

"You blew up your suits?" Steve asked, and Tony nodded.

"But I can build new ones!" He added quickly. "So don't kick me off of the Avengers! Point Break, your turn."

Thor puffed out his chest proudly. "The Lady Jane and I were reunited, and together, we saved all the worlds from destruction by the Dark Elves!"

Clint blinked. "You mean… the universe was almost obliviated by a bunch of evil elves?"

Thor nodded. "Dark Elves, to be exact." He sighed, a sad look on his handsome face. "But, alas, Loki was killed in the struggle, shortly after redeeming himself."

"Sorry about your brother, Thor, even if he did have Erik and Clint under mind-control. Not to mention all those people he killed, and kids he orphaned." Natasha said.

Thor nodded miserably, and said in a morose voice. "Friend Steve, it appears to be your turn in this conversation."

Steve gave Thor a smile before talking. "I stopped HYDRA, again, with the help of Sam and Natasha."

"Who's Sam?" Tony asked.

"Falcon. He's a SHIELD agent." Steve replied. "Also, I found (and lost, again) my best friend who was thought to be dead, and Nat and I are now a couple!"

Clint glared at the last part, but said nothing.

They skipped Natasha, because she and Steve were now passionately making out.

"C'mon, Legolas, tell us what you did!" Came Tony's annoying quip.

He sighed. "I shot people with arrows. Nothing to exciting. What about you Bruce?"

"I did science." He said weakly.

"Oh, c'mon, that's not fun!" Clint complained.

"I have something to say!" Came a new voice.

Everyone turned to see Phil Coulson, very much alive, standing in the shadows.

"He's been resurrected, like Lazarus! He's Lazarus!" Tony cried.

"I came back to life, and flew around on a plane called the BUS solving mysteries. I also got a new team consisting of two science geeks, a man with the emotional range of a robot (he ended up working for HYDRA, by the way), the Calvary, and a human 0-8-4! It was so awesome!"

Everyone stared at him some more, and then Tony got up and hugged him while crying. "You're actualy alive! I'm not hallucinating like I do when I get drunk!"

Natasha leaned into Steve. "I'm not sure which is weirder; Tony getting so drunk he hallucinates, or that he hallucinates about Phil."

Steve laughed and they kissed some more.

THE END!