UPDATE (31/12/2017 CEST): Rebranded fanfic as 'Dakota and Cavendish in Dimmsdale'. Original title was 'Vinnie and Balthazar in Dimmsdale'.
Author's Note: I usually do these things at the end of a chapter, but I feel like it's important to put this at the front.
This is a spinoff of my "Phineas and Ferb in Dimmsdale" fanfiction series, in which we go through every part in the perspective of Milo Murphy's Law characters Vinnie Dakota and Balthazar Cavendish. As the series consists of only two stories at the time of writing this (June 11 2017), you can imagine this story won't be updated as frequently as other fanfics I wrote.
I should also note that the Dakota and Cavendish featured in this fic are from after the MML episode "School Dance", but before "The Little Engine That Couldn't". This is entirely possible due to their nature as time travelers.
I'll also be telling at the beginning of each chapter which story belongs to it, so readers have an easier time to catch up. This one right here, for example, is from the first story, "Phineas and Ferb in Dimmsdale: Bet-tle at the Mall". Enjoy!
"I can't believe our boss sent us on a pistachio mission in the summer vacation in Dimmsdale, of all places!"
Balthazar Cavendish, a tall figure in a completely green 1870s outfit, was complaining yet again about the pistachio-based missions he and his partner would receive from the Bureau of Time Travel. He and Vinnie Dakota (that's the shorter guy in the yellow-red 1970s tracking suit) are time travel agents, which are usually assigned to avert world-changing crises. However, Cavendish and Dakota are two of the lowest-ranked agents, given the most inconsequential missions so nothing much would happen if they fail... which they still do.
This time, they're attending yet another pistachio cart, in the Dimmsdale Mall in California.
"I don't understand why Mr Block forces us to protect these nuts far away from the real threat..." Balthazar continued.
"Milo Murphy", he and Dakota said in unison, his partner saying it in a completely deadpan tone.
"Yeah, that's probably because we basically abandoned our mission to go to a middle school dance", Vinnie explained.
"It's for a good cause, Dakota, to gather evidence that Milo Murphy is in fact a secret counteragent", Balthazar defended. "Besides, we're time travelers. We could've gone to the pistachio farm after the school dance."
"I know, but it simply wasn't our mission", Dakota said. "So, pistachios first, Milo later, simple as that. Just be glad Mr Block didn't fire us just because I remembered to bring the stakes. All he basically did was taking away our time travel devices. Besides, being away from the Murphy kid for a while will do you some good."
"What will being away from the bad guy do me good, exactly", Cavendish asked.
"Well, I haven't really seen you being this grumpy for a while now", Vinnie said. "I'm pretty sure you'll be a lot happier when we've finally completed our first mission. Like, y'know, those two over there." Vinnie pointed to a fifteen-year-old girl with a long neck, and a tall-for-a-ten-year-old... boy, with a red cap and purple sweater.
"Seems like they're talking about videogames or something", Dakota added.
"How can you be so sure we'll accomplish this mission", Balthazar asked.
"Oh, that's simple", Vinnie said. "All our missions seem to go awry when Milo enters the scene. But this city is a completely Milo-free zone! This time, we may have a big chance to actually save the pistachios, and maybe get a more consequential mission next time."
"Unless Milo Murphy also traveled back in time, of course", Balthazar mumbled.
"I'm sorry, what was that", Vinnie asked.
"...Nothing", Cavendish sighed.
A few minutes passed when Balthazar noticed a snobbish blonde kid holding a flask passing by. He closed the opening of the pistachio cart, stored away the spices, and pulled himself and his partner down.
"Hey, what's the big idea there", Dakota complained.
"Be quiet", Cavendish hissed. "Don't you see what that blonde boy in white is holding?"
Vinnie peered to the kid. "Um, a flask of water", he asked.
"No you dolt, that's Boom Juice", Balthazar barked. "It's a substance that can blow up anything it touches. If only a drop of Boom Juice spills on this cart, inbetween the pistachios, or into the broiler, then all of it will self-destruct. Poof, gone."
"Isn't Boom Juice supposed to be purple, though", Vinnie questioned.
"Only en masse, Dakota. Only en masse", Balthazar stated. "Anyway, we should keep an eye on this kid. Who knows he's also a counteragent that wants to destroy the pistachios."
"Oh boy, here we go again", Vinnie lamented.
The pair of pistachio protectors have followed the blonde kid to a gym. They and their cart are on the opposite side.
"Dakota, give me the telescope", Cavendish ordered. "I need to see what the possible ruffian is doing there while staying at a considerate distance."
Vinnie handed his partner a telescope, before folding his arms and leaning onto the wall. Balthazar snagged the telescope and peered into it.
Dakota noticed that the same long-necked girl and the red-hatted boy he saw earlier were standing in the bushes, apparently also spying on this kid his partner was worried about. It was hard to see between all the greenery, but the hat and the orange hair were quite recognizable.
Meanwhile, Cavendish said: "It appears the boy is talking to this burly grayish kid. It's too bad they're too far away for us to hear what they're saying, though."
"Maybe we should go closer", Vinnie suggested.
"And get spotted?" Balthazar said. "Dakota, that will make it easier for them to destroy the pistachios. We should keep ourselves at a considerate distance just to be safe."
He peered back into the telescope.
"Uh oh", he said.
"What, 'uh oh'? What is it, Balth", Vinnie asked.
"They're approaching the exit", Cavendish said. "If they see us, they might destroy the pistachios right away."
Dakota said: "So according to you, we have to-"
"That's right, Dakota", Balthazar said. "RUN!"
The two hurried away with the pistachio cart.
"Do you think we lost them", Vinnie asked while sitting down, panting.
"Dakota, we only ran for seven seconds", Balthazar said. "What do you think?!"
Vinnie stared into the direction they came from. "Well, I don't see him or any burly guys coming our way", he said, "so... I think so?"
Balthazar looked into the same direction. "Hm, that's odd", he said. "It seems they have gone into the direction opposite of ours."
"I know, right", Dakota said. "It's almost as if they were never interested in us or the pistachios in the first place."
"Oh, yes, mock me all you want", Cavendish complained. "It's just as likely they just haven't seen us fleeing."
"I doubt that", Vinnie argued. "We could clearly see him from our cart, so I'm sure he could've seen us from the exit."
Before Balthazar could argue further, a girl with jet black hair in a pink dress approached them, carrying a cart full of food coloring and saying: "Wow, a pistachio cart! I could use them to make green food coloring, as I earned my Food Coloring Creation patch. Mister, can I have one portion, please?"
Balthazar looked at the girl and responded: "I'm sorry, young lady, but-"
"Sure, here you go", Vinnie intercepted, giving the girl one pack of pistachios. "That'll be two dollars."
"Thank you", the girl said, giving Vinnie two bills of a dollar.
As the girl left, Balthazar scolded: "What was that for?! We're supposed to protect those pistachios, not to give them away."
"Nono, we sold them away", Vinnie corrected. "Besides, we're posing as pistachio vendors, might as well act like them to not make us suspicious."
Cavendish sighed. "I can't... really argue to that... Let's forget it."
The rest of the day seemed to go smoothly, but at fifteen before five, Balthazar and Vinnie encountered the blonde snobby kid again, Boom Juice and all. He and the four burly kids they saw earlier, again, passed the two pistachio protectors, but now with the fifteen-year old they alsoencountered earlier, furiously chasing them with a delayed start.
"We'll follow them at a distance", Balthazar said quietly. "Raising suspicion is the last thing we want."
As they quietly followed the orange-haired teen, Cavendish and Dakota saw a large contraption reminiscent of a slide.
"I do not recall this slide being there when we first entered this mall", Balthazar noted.
"Me neither, but I like it", Vinnie said. "We should slide down on it when it's done. After we completed the mission, of course."
"Have I ever told you how much of a man-child you are", Cavendish asked, while taking out the periscope.
"Yes. Yes, you have", Dakota said with a smile.
"Now be quiet, Dakota", Cavendish said. "I'm trying to look for that blonde kid with the Boom Jui- oh, there he is."
Balthazar saw the kid just in time to see him take the flask away from the long-necked teenager (who apparently had possession over the flask when the duo wasn't looking), and slipped over a perfume bottle, throwing the flask by accident over to the mall's third floor, without miraculously hitting the slide. It had hit something, as an explosion could be heard, but who knows what it had hit.
Cavendish had a huge smile on his face. "The danger has been averted, Dakota. Our pistachios are safe."
He checked his pocket watch. "And not an hour 'til closing time, too! Something miraculous ought to happen for the pistachios to be ruined now."
"Does that mean I can side down that thing, then", Dakota asked excitedly.
"...No", Balthazar said.
Vinnie hadn't seen his partner this happy for quite a while. He had been humming gladly for half a hour by now, all while Vinnie was longingly watching kids taking down the slide, now filled with rainbow-colored water.
He wanted to slide down too, but that probably won't happen until tomorrow, before they get a new assignment. He already was imagining himself sliding down the thing. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he thought he actually saw himself up there a few times, actually taking down the slide, but that can't be right. It had to be an illusion or something.
Right before half past five, though, something bizarre happened.
A huge man robot had thrown himself on the slide, creating a huge impact that broke Vinnie out of his thoughts. Balthazar also stopped his humming and looked where the sound came from.
Both then met with a large tidal wave of rainbow water, impacting on them and destroying their pistachio cart. The splash of water carried the ruined pistachios over to another part of the mall as a soaked Balthazar slouched defeatedly.
Vinnie, who was equally soaked, didn't know whether to feel sad about the failed mission and the destroyed slide, or flabbergasted at the phenomenon causing both at once in the first place.
"So, um, what now", Vinnie asked.
"...Let's go back to our base", Balthazar sighed.