The lyrics used in this piece of fan-fiction, are from I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing. I don't own anything; it belongs to Aerosmith.
Detective Duquesne was known to do everything strictly by the rules. Although she was very independent, she actually dealt well with authority. She did whatever being Miami's ballistics expert required and what she was expected to do.
She too was unbelievably stubborn, and not messing with her was rule number one. Calleigh was surely one-of-a-kind; a very smart, blond southern belle who usually listened to her mind rather than her feelings. She internally felt like she had to for her own well-being, because she was pretty sure that if she actually let her feelings interfere with what she did for living, she wouldn't be able to deal with it anymore. That, however, didn't mean her feelings didn't sometimes stand between herself and her mind, though.
And tonight was one of these times. She sighed, and sank down on a stool behind her steel work table. Letting her platinum blond head drop in her ice cold hands in exhaustion, she slowly let the heavy sigh she had been holding escape, as she waited for the computer to maybe pop up with a match on the striations of the twenty-eight caliber she had found on the crime scene that morning. The thing was already searching for hours, but still hadn't come up with anything thus far.
Calleigh was someone who thought very much; thinking was absolutely a given if you were a CSI, but at this point her thoughts trailed off – something which very rarely happened; which she very rarely allowed herself.
She smiled, having lost count of the times having come through for him. By the same token, he, too, was incredibly protective of her, though never underestimating or diminishing her abilities as a cop and a CSI. And although both of them had a tendency to internalize their emotions and rarely let others in, their trust in each other had been absolute and unshakable for as long as she could even remember. Even though she knew that there must have been other times.
Out of all CSIs, the two of them had seemed to know each other best: in tune with each other, often to the point of being able to communicate without words.
What was left of it now, though? Calleigh wondered. She and Horatio hadn't really talked in months, except for a few phone calls: just a few short and totally formal phone calls to share brief updates on the cases their team had been working on.
She missed that, being able to talk to him about no matter what, she had to admit. She unconsciously turned around on her stool and stared off towards the lieutenant's office, where a seemingly vague light still burnt. She chuckled, though the sadness within undeniable. Workaholics, both of them.
The two of them were so alike. Where had it gone wrong?
She sighed, and stood up lethargically, turning off the old lamp barely giving enough light to illuminate her little office next to the sound proof gun range, and leaving her laptop to pop up with whatever it wanted. On her way out, Calleigh successfully threw the white lab coat at the peg.
"Calleigh?"
The surprise sounding through in Horatio's velvety rumble was nothing less than subtle, but noticeable for her. It sure had been ages since she had been in that office. Mainly because Horatio hated it and only spent time there if strictly necessary. To think some things through sometimes, though he usually went to the beach to do that. Looking at the greenish blue waves of water lapping at the muddy shore, crashing down on the shoals, looking over the ocean towards the horizon, he mostly found himself back when he had lost himself, which actually happened now and again.
"Hey," Calleigh simply said.
Horatio had seen the blond CSI cry once. It had been on the day of Speed's funeral. He had been the one she had allowed seeing her cry, holding her together as she cried into his chest.
Sure, much had changed between that time and now, he knew. And he should be thankful for her still being in their midst. She could have been gone more than once. Like she could have walked out of the building to never come back.
To his utter surprise, he noticed tears rimming the edges of her otherwise sparkling eyes. The sparkle had left her eyes at this point, though. Although so much had changed between them, he still felt like he only wanted to wrap his strong arms around her and hug her tight, wanting to protect her by doing so. He didn't, though. He just stayed safely behind his desk.
His sapphire blue eyes connected with hers as she slowly made her way towards him. "I miss you," she honestly let out as only the desk was still between them. And she tried to think how hard it must have been weighing upon her for her to just blurt it out like that. It surely wasn't like her to do so.
Horatio frowned. He did exactly realize what she meant, but couldn't help the next thing from escaping his lips, "How can you miss me when…?" Any more words trailed off, noticing her lower lip quivering as she looked up at him again.
"Bad idea," she decided after a very long silence, turning around in one second and nearly running out of his office. The last thing he clearly heard before the door fell in the locker behind her was a quiet sob.
He didn't go after her.
He just turned towards the pile of case files again. After staring at the same page for about half an hour, he finally seemed to realize he couldn't focus anymore. Closing the file, he practically threw it on the top of the remaining paper work.
He tried to remember when had been the last time he had slept one night through. He couldn't.
He threw one last glance upon his dark office. Sighing, he didn't have the faintest idea when he would be back again. He just shook his red head, turned off the light switch and left it behind bathing in darkness.
As soon as the elevator spit Horatio out in the parking lot, his light blue eyes noticed Calleigh's car still sitting there. He turned back towards the lab, and sighed. What kind of an idiot was he?
"Calleigh?"
"Don't," the blond CSI let out with a shaking voice, not daring to look up at him because she knew she would break.
A gentle hand tucked a loose strand of platinum blond hair behind her ear, as its owner sat down beside her, closer than he had ever been in the months before. "I'm sorry," he whispered, lifting her chin for her to face him.
She instinctively pulled her sad greenish eyes shut as he did so, tears running down her pale cheeks. And then, out of the dark nowhere, his rough lips came down on her cheek in an ever so gentle kiss. She opened her teary eyes again, looking at him confusedly. Didn't he know what he was doing to her then, giving her hope that things would be the same again, while it surely wouldn't?
"Don't…" Calleigh repeated, trembling, another tear finding its way through the barrier she had been holding up for years.
Hesitantly, Horatio's lips brushed against hers for a moment, waiting for any of them to pull the other in a kiss. Neither of them did. And that's what it felt like to be afraid of what might happen if you gave in to what you felt; if you were used to trust on your mind all the time.
You'll only find out whether things are right or wrong when you've given in to them. If you want to find out, you'll have to risk the jump first, and both seemed to realize exactly that on the same moment, as the kiss grew into a hungry duel between tongues.
His hands didn't know where to touch her first, as she broke free. She wanted it to be more than just a one time bang in the locker room. She wanted him to scream out in her bedroom, and wake up next to him the following morning.
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you're sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
He carelessly rooted through her silky soft locks, listening to the steady rhythm of her breathing, and noticing the smile growing on her lips as he softly kissed the top of her head. How would he be able to walk out on her now?
"What are you thinking about?" Calleigh suddenly asked, leaning up on his chest, her soft voice being accompanied with a thick southern accent.
"Nothing, sweetheart," he lied, leaning down to steal a brief kiss. She purred, leaning up higher to kiss him back roughly, as her sharp nails scraped down his chest. Without hesitating, he rolled her over on her back for round two.
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
He lovingly intertwined his fingers with hers and let out a deep sigh. It would make it all the whole harder, but now he would at least leave with something to come back for.
Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank that we're together
I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever
Forever and ever
Maybe he wouldn't even come back to her anymore. He didn't know. And maybe his own ignorance was exactly the reason why he hadn't told Calleigh. He didn't know. Maybe because he just didn't want to say goodbye.
Horatio Caine was not very good at saying goodbye. Wherever he went, he counted on the perspective he would come back, and only say farewell.
Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
He hadn't even said farewell to her. In the morning, there had only been lying a note on her nightstand, under the weight of her Smith and Wesson as to make sure she would find it. She would have expected Jake to do something like that: leaving her with a simple note only saying he would come back as soon as possible.
She had taken a day off for the first time in twelve years.
Now she was still lying there into bed, reliving how Horatio had made love to her last night. She sadly looked at the spot where he had been lying only a couple of hours before. It seemed like he had never been there; like it had all been a dream. She would happily give up that dream to have him back.
She grasped one of the pillows tightly. As she closed her greenish blue eyes, she recognized that particular scent… it smelled of him. And it smelled of sex, exactly what the two of them had been having that night.
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Eric had dropped by earlier to make sure she was doing fine. She was giving up on CSI at the moment, and hadn't properly slept or eaten in days. How could she? How could she just move on with her life without him? Sure, she would walk that lonely road with him as long as she could, but when he gave up on walking it himself, how was she supposed to find her way alone?
How was she supposed to live on?
All she knew was he had some things to take care of alone, and that's why he hadn't told any of them. He didn't even know for himself when he would come back. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe it should have been 'if I come back' instead.
She just felt so empty inside. Calleigh wanted him to come back. She needed him to.
She wanted him to smile upon her; kiss her like he had done that night, days earlier. Maybe it would become even months. She didn't know, and of what she had been able to derive from the note he hadn't even known for himself.
Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
I don't wanna miss a thing
She stood there tightly hugging herself, the wind coming up from the east side and playing havoc with her platinum blond hair. She stood watching out over the ocean, like Horatio would have done if… She couldn't even finish that sentence in her mind. 'If he hadn't left.'
"Where are you, Horatio?" she questioned, and realized she must be totally out of her mind to stand there in the storming wind. She sighed, turning around to get the right answer on her question. From where she stood, she could make out a nearly invisible nod, saying it was okay.
Calleigh slowly started to walk towards him, still not having decided whether she should start crying or laughing. Her quiet footsteps became faster as she finally neared him, as she noticed his red hair being a total mess because of the angry wind as well.
He gently picked her up in one, swift movement, lifting her up in the air as the two of them fell in each other's arms. She cried, deciding this was out of happiness. She tried to make a compromise by laughing through her tears.
"I'm sorry," Horatio let out, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair, letting her slide down his body, and kissed her shining red lips thoroughly. Nothing would tear them apart anymore. The two of them had made the jump and there was no way of turning back.