Summary: "It's scary when my daddy cries and it's scary that my mommy's not here." Set soon after Chloe's mom left and Lois's mom died. Complete.
Author's notes: Ever since Lois mentioned her mom died when she was 6, I've been thinking that Lois and Chloe had lost their moms around the same time and I've been wanting to write a fic based on that. Also, I just think Chloe and Lois have one of the funniest and sweetest relationships on the show, and I wanted to explore that.
I couldn't think how old Lucy was, so pretend, for the sake of this, she's a little bit older than Chloe. Sorry for OOCness and again, I tried to incorporate a metaphor with the swings, but gave up. Hope you like and please, someone else write Chlois, because it's very fun.
Dedication: For Natalee, because she always reads my Clois fics, even though she hates the pairing. Thanks!
Disclaimer: The characters within do not belong to me. Never have, never will.
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Chloe sits close to her dad in the booth, wanting to hold his hand but not willing to look like a baby. Her cousins Lois and Lucy, along with there daddy come into the restaurant. Lucy's holding Lois's hand and Chloe feels proud that she isn't holding her daddy's. Still, though, she wishes Lois is holding her hand too, so she doesn't feel so alone. She never went to lunches like these with her daddy; it was always a 'Chloe and Mommy day.' Not anymore, her mommy's gone and Chloe doesn't think she'll ever come back, never ever.
Lois is kind of like a mommy though, being all nice to Lucy and stuff. She's 6 and in first grade, and super brave. Chloe will try and be like her. She doesn't need a mommy.
"Gabe," Lois's daddy says to her daddy.
"Sam," Chloe's daddy says back. "Hi, girls."
"Hi," Lucy says quietly. Lois doesn't say anything.
The daddy's have started talking about boring stuff that Chloe didn't understand. Lucy sits quietly in between her daddy and Lois, drawing on a piece of paper the waitress had brought. Chloe and Lois have gotten ones too, but Lois isn't drawing so neither is Chloe.
"I have to go to the bathroom," Lucy blurts suddenly.
Chloe winces; she does, too. She mumbles as much and Uncle Sam looks kinda mad.
"Lois, take them," he tells his daughter, in a voice that reminds Chloe of the big bad wolf from The Three Little Pigs.
Wordlessly, Lois slides out of the booth and Lucy follows, taking her sister's hand.
"Come on," Lois growls at Chloe. She holds out her hand but Chloe wants her cousin to think of her as someone big like her, not a baby like Lucy, so she doesn't take it.
Chloe finishes quick and stands at the sink, washing her hands. She glances over to the sink next to hers, to see Lois there; her shoulder's all stiff and looking like she hurt herself. Chloe sticks out her soapy hand and gasps. Lois's water is freezing!
"That's cold," Chloe says.
"So?"
"It hurts."
Lois turns the tap sharply to the left and Chloe's eyes widen.
"That probably hurts even more!"
"Shut up," Lois snaps at her. "Luce, hurry up!"
Later, the daddy's take them to a park. They sit on a bench and read lots of papers. Lucy plays in the sandbox and Lois sits on the bench opposite the daddy's. Chloe's sad that Lois was mean to her but she still wants to look cool. She goes and sits on a swing, pumping as hard and as high as she can.
It's kind of like she's flying and she leans her head back, smiling as the wind blows her hair out, like a streamer. She nearly falls off when someone comes up and pushes her.
"What are you doing!" She cries, turning around. It's Lois.
"I always push Lucy," she says, matter of factly.
"I'm not Lucy."
Lois shrugs and stands near the swing, almost close enough for Chloe to hit her when she swings passed.
"What do you want?" Chloe should say something smart and cool, so Lois will like her, but she's still mad.
"Lots of things."
"I mean what do you want from me? Why are you over here?"
"It's a free park."
Chloe glares and Lois glares and finally says quietly: "I didn't want to be by myself."
"You were sitting with the grown ups," Chloe points out.
"Still felt like I was by myself. It always does, even when dad's around. Not when mom was though – " She cuts herself off and doesn't look at Chloe.
"Where's your mommy?"
"My mom died."
"Oh. I'm sorry. I don't know where my mommy – mom is."
"What do you mean?" Lois sits on the swing next to Chloe's, scraping her feet along the ground and moving slowly.
"She left lots of days ago. I woke up and my daddy was trying to make waffles and they were all hard and gross and I asked if he was making them for mommy and he started crying." Chloe does that too, sitting here with Lois, making sure to keep quiet. "It's scary when my daddy cries and it's scary that my mommy's not here." She doesn't care about being brave anymore; she just wants her mommy.
"It's scarier when your daddy doesn't cry," Lois says softly.
"What?" Chloe keeps her head down, not wanting anyone to see her tears. Lois already has but that doesn't matter because Lois won't tell and Chloe knows she's sad, too.
"My dad hasn't cried, not once. Not at the funeral or earlier, when she was sick and dying real slow and I stand outside his room sometimes, 'cause Luce keeps me up with her snoring and hogs all the covers. He never cries. He looks at her picture lots and I think he's sad but he n-never…"
She stops then and by the way she's breathing and the small sounds she's making, through what Chloe knows are clenched teeth, she knows she's crying.
"We're allowed to be sad," Chloe says in a small voice. "We're not allowed to make ourselves hurt."
"What do you know?"
"That. I know that. It's bad and – did it help?"
"No," Lois says and sniffs.
"See?" Chloe smiles and pushes at the tears, sticky on her face. She slides off her swing and goes behind Lois's.
"What are you doing?"
"Pushing you," Chloe says, as though it was obvious. "You're bad at pumping."
Lois doesn't say anything and Chloe pushes her, even though it's hard, because it's also kind of fun. And she's never felt so cool or smart, ever. Because she's doing something for Lois, like Lois does for Lucy and for her daddy. It's nice to have someone take care of you, Chloe knows, and she wants to do that for Lois.
Later, when her daddy says he's taking them for ice cream while Uncle Sam does some boring stuff, Lois races Chloe to the car. Chloe knows she can win, especially since Lois is holding hands with Lucy again, but she makes it a tie, so her and Lois can be the same kind of cool and smart.
End