The Lady of the Lake

ONE

She dreamed of a forest, lush and green and beautiful. The golden light pouring through the high branches was warm and filled with fairy dust. The air was heavy and sweet with the scent of foliage and the taste of magic. The grass was soft and cool under her feet, and she smiled delightedly to herself. She recognized the ethereal forest at once as the one she had first entered so many years ago. A leaf had led her to the spirit of the forest, dazzling in his calm, self-assured splendor, and she had fallen in love.

She walked through the forest now, down familiar paths, enjoying the afternoon sunshine and safety of her imagination. She heard a brook gurgling in the distance, and directed her steps towards the sound. She expected to find him there, stretched out along the bank, basking in the light. Radiant. She was surprised, however, to find at the water's edge not her love, but a woman. The woman was sitting on the ground, her knees bent and her feet tucked beneath her. She was wearing a long white dress, and her thick dark hair fell down her back between her shoulder blades in lovely coils. She gently stroked her hand across the water's surface, her fingers creating small ripples. Though the woman faced away from her, she knew instinctively she was beautiful. She was drawn to her, and without conscious decision her feet led her forward. Her heart caught in her throat, pounding with her quickened pulse. She was suddenly excited and nervous and sad, without knowing why.

The woman turned her head as she approached, and smiled upon her. "Mama?!" She had known her mostly from photographs, the lovely face dulled in her own childish memory, but there was no doubt that the woman sitting before her now was the late Mrs. Oh.

"My Ha Ni." She opened her arms, and Ha Ni fell into them. She sobbed into her mother's shoulder, as she stroked her hair. "My sweet, precious Ha Ni." It was too much joy and sorrow at one time, and Ha Ni thought her heart might burst with it. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to tell her mother and to ask. Where was she? Was she happy? Did she watch over them, her father and her? Was she proud of the things Ha Ni had done?

"Mama-"

Mrs. Oh pressed a finger to her daughter's lips, and Ha Ni realized that even in the warm sunshine it was pale and cold. She shook her head and glanced at her daughter fondly. The corners of her eyes were drawn in sadness. Ha Ni hated to see the sadness in her mother's eyes. She would have given anything to be able to take that pain and sadness away from her. To see her smile again. Mrs. Oh had a beautiful smile that lit up the entire room – like the sun breaking through the clouds on a dreary day. Her father always said she had inherited her mother's smile. Ha Ni liked to think that was true. "Oh Ha Ni. Where has my Oh Ha Ni gone?"

Mrs. Oh was staring right at her, looking into her eyes. Surely she must see her. "I'm here, Mama. Right here."

Mrs. Oh shook her head again slowly. "My Ha Ni is gone. She is gone."

Ha Ni clutched her mother's hands. "I'm not gone, Mama. I'm here! Please look at me."

She did. Mrs. Oh's gaze was penetrating; her eyes gleamed with the power of the supernatural realm to which she now belonged. Ha Ni gasped as she felt the physicality of her mother's gaze piercing through her. She is looking through me, Ha Ni initially thought, but, no, that wasn't right. People had looked through Ha Ni most of her young life. This was different. Her mother wasn't looking through her but into her, piercing her exterior and infiltrating the deepest depths of her soul, shining a light into secret crevices Ha Ni hadn't even known existed inside herself. She could feel it all at once, standing spiritually naked and exposed, and she felt ashamed. She didn't want her mother to inspect and see and find her lacking.

As though reading her mind, her mother dropped her gaze. She looked out across the still waters. "Where has my Ha Ni gone?" she repeated. Her voice was inhuman, spoken from a great distance and full of the knowledge of the world's suffering. A thin breath like incense lost in the air.

"I don't understand." Mrs. Oh nodded and gestured with her hand. Sweeping it out across the water, motioning for Ha Ni to kneel over and take a look. Ha Ni obeyed. She placed her palms flat on the rugged earth and leaned forward. There was nothing. She looked quizzically back over her shoulder at her mother, but Mrs. Oh simply shook her head and motioned again. Ha Ni leaned forward further. Above her, the sun was beginning to disappear behind raging storm clouds. The trees swayed with the rising wind. A stray leaf blew into the water and rushed downstream. The pebbles under her hands dug into her tender flesh. She didn't know what her mother wanted her to see. Then, with horrifying recognition, she realized it wasn't what she was could she but what she couldn't.

She had no reflection.

She looked desperately at her mother for explanation. Thin tears trailed silently down Mrs. Oh's cheeks as she began to fade away. Graying and translucent, disappearing back to the place she belonged. "Where are you Ha Ni?"

"Mother!" Ha Ni reached for her mother, but she was already gone. She wanted to follow her, but didn't know how. Around her, the winds began to howl, whipping the tops of trees and churning the waters. Thunder rumbled in the black clouds and lightning flashed overhead. Her mystical world was alien and frightening. Was this the same forest she had explored in anticipation? Ha Ni turned back to the stream and searched for her reflection. Any tiny image of her to prove she existed.

Horrified, she watched as from the waters a beast arose. His horns appear first, long and gnarled, black as the midnight sky. The water spilled from the dark crown of his head and down his pale skin. She recognized in the distorted face her spirit of the forest. No longer celestial and magnificent, divine in his beauty and glory, he was ugly. Dark and cruel-featured. Dreadful. Evil. He grabbed her wrist, grabbing her into the black depths of the waters below.

She screamed.