"Hey Cosima, can we talk?" Beth asks.
"Um, sure what's up?" Cosima asks.
"Can we, uh, can we not do it here?" Beth glances around the library, the other students looking away when she catches their eye.
"Yeah, yeah sure. One sec." Cosima says, gathering her papers. "Let me just…" Cosima gestures at her mess of papers. "Yeah."
Beth makes a noise of acknowledgement before standing up. She hears sniggers from a few tables down and faint whispers of 'cold fish'. She looks down and clenches her fists. Cosima reaches across the table and gently touches Beth's arm.
"Hey, are you okay?" Cosima asks.
Beth nods aggressively, making a show of releasing her fists. "I'm fine." She says stiffly.
"You sure?" Cosima questions softly.
"I'm fine." Beth says.
Cosima dumps her stuff into her bag and motions for Beth to leave. She follows after her friend, having to jog slightly to catch up to her. Beth leads Cosima outside and under the bleachers. Beth runs a hand through her hair and looks at her feet.
"What's up?" Cosima prompts lightly.
Beth sighs. "You know those rumors? The ones about Paul and me? The… cold fish ones?" Cosima nods. "Well, um, they're true. I never like wanted to like… do… that. And I couldn't say no all the time. So I let him." Beth rubs her eyes. Cosima thinks she must be crying. "I just thought that if I kept doing it that it would feel normal. I don't know, it was stupid."
"No, not stupid." Cosima says. "Beth I think maybe you're asexual. I read a little about it somewhere but I can't say I'm an expert. It makes sense with what you're saying." Cosima gestures wildly.
"Asexual? Is that some weird fungi? Cos I don't need you making jokes." Beth turns to leave.
Cosima grabs Beth's arm. "Not joking. Totally serious. Look it up if you don't believe me. It's a sexual orientation, like gay or straight. Let me explain." Beth nods after a moment. "Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction. Like you're not attracted to anyone like sexually. You can still like someone romantically, like wanting to date them, but just not wanting to like get in their pants or whatever." Cosima explains.
"How do I get rid of it?" Beth asks.
"Nonono, you don't 'get rid of it'. You're not broken. Not wanting to sleep with anyone doesn't mean you're weird. And not everyone will accept it or whatever, I mean you saw their reactions when I came out. Those people are stupid and not cool like us." Cosima says.
"Cool like us?" Beth says, doubtful.
"Yeah, we get cool orientations and they're just boring and straight. That's no fun." Cosima grins.
"I don't feel cool." Beth mumbles.
"But you will. And you're pretty awesome Beth. Like way cooler than Paul. Did you know that Sarah said she had to show him what to do when they had sex?" Cosima asks.
"No." Beth says, smiling slightly.
"C'mon." Cosima says, throwing her arm around Beth's shoulders. "Let's go research cool things and laugh at Big Dick Paul."
"Okay." Beth says.
"But you have to tell me, was it really that big?" Cosima asks.
"Not as big as Sarah makes it seem." Beth says.
"Really?!" Cosima gasps. "Oh my god I have to tell everyone!"
"Come on." Beth laughs. They walk back to the school with Cosima's arm still on Beth's shoulders.