Disclaimer - Glee belongs to Fox, I'm just borrowing the characters for a while.
This is the first fic I've posted on FF, so please read and review :) First chapter of a multi-chapter fic!
Rachel Berry is scared.
It's been three weeks since she graduated. Three weeks since her friends waved goodbye to her as she boarded a train to New York City, ready to take the first step towards creating a new life for herself. Three weeks since her fiancé ended their engagement and told her he was joining the army.
In other words, three weeks since her entire world was turned upside down.
It was easy to put all of those things to the back of her mind when she was in New York, checking out the NYADA dorms, getting to know the city with her dads – but now she's home and it's not that simple anymore. She lifts her little pink suitcase out of the trunk of the car and looks around, shielding her eyes from the sun.
Her homecoming is less impressive than her departure. Instead of an entire Glee club and her favourite teacher waiting for her with open arms, Rachel finds nothing more than a stack of junk mail, some bills for her parents, and a stray cat that's made a home for itself on their front porch. She briefly considers asking her dads if they can keep the cat, but then she remembers that she won't be here to look after it in a few months. She swallows her words and follows her parents into the house.
It seems much smaller now that she's spent so much time in New York. Her bedroom is exactly the same as she left it, but it seems alien somehow. The pictures tacked to the wall aren't comforting like they were before – her eye falls on a snap of Finn and she yanks it off the wall, tearing it in the process. His grin splits down the middle.
"Serves you right," Rachel mutters.
She hefts her suitcase onto the bed and zips it open, resigning herself to an afternoon of unpacking. Before she's even removed the first of her many dresses, however, her cell phone starts to buzz. She answers it without thinking.
"Hello?"
"Rachel," the voice on the other end says. "Thank God. Are you home? I need to see you."
"Kurt?" Rachel says, wrinkling up her nose. "Is something wrong? I thought that we were meeting at the Lima Bean for coffee tonight. I have a ton of unpacking to do." A lie, but she really doesn't want to see Kurt right now. He may be her best friend, but he's also Finn's stepbrother, and she knows that any conversation she has with Kurt will invariably lead back to her ex-fiancé.
"No, no, nothing's wrong," Kurt replies. There's a crashing noise on the other end of the line and Rachel straightens, wondering what exactly Kurt's doing. When he speaks again, his voice is choked. "I just – Blaine, stop it! Sorry, Rachel. We're having a party at my place and I thought you might want to come. If you can reschedule your unpacking, that is." She can practically hear him raising his eyebrows.
"A party?" she says hesitantly, remembering her own disastrous party from junior year. "I don't know if that's such a good idea."
"Well, we'd love it if you stopped by," Kurt says. "We missed you."
"I missed you too," Rachel says, her voice catching a little. The last three weeks in New York made her realise how much she's going to miss her friends – especially Kurt – when she leaves for NYADA in the fall. She looks at her still bulging suitcase, and then at the framed photo of her and Kurt on her bedside table, and makes a snap decision. "You know what? Unpacking can wait. I'll see you soon." She hangs up without waiting for a reply.
Her dads don't question her on where she's going when she bounds down the stairs. They've been tiptoeing around her ever since the break-up, as if they're afraid she'll shatter if they don't keep their distance. She knows that they're glad the wedding never happened, even if they'd never say it aloud, but she doesn't have the heart to hold it against them. She's starting to think that maybe they were right about the engagement all along.
She walks past the cars parked in the driveway – although Rachel Berry has a myriad of other talents, driving is not one of them. She doesn't see it as a problem though. She's going to live in New York City, so who needs a car? Besides, Kurt's house is less than fifteen minutes away on foot, and it's a nice day out.
When she reaches Kurt's driveway, a thought suddenly occurs to her – what if Finn's here? It is his house, after all, and she doesn't know if he's left for basic training yet. She pauses at the end of the drive, her chest seizing up. She doesn't think she can deal with seeing him yet. She's gotten over the grief that plagued her during her first week in New York, but she's still furious at him. She's half-afraid that if he is here, she'll end up punching him in the face in front of all of their friends. She shifts from foot to foot, trying to decide if she should ring the bell or turn around and go home, but she doesn't get to make the choice for herself. The door swings open and Blaine pokes his head out, beaming at her.
"I saw you through the window," he calls. "Are you gonna stand out there forever or are you gonna give me a hug?"
Rachel smiles and crosses the lawn, enveloping Blaine in a warm hug. He gives her a gentlemanly kiss on the cheek and then steps back with a sweeping gesture, inviting her into the house. Rachel steps inside, remembering that the last time she was here, she and Finn had been engaged.
"So, how was New York?" Blaine asks, shutting the door with a click. "Obviously pretty great, or you wouldn't have stayed so long. What's NYADA like? Kurt's dying to interrogate you, just so you know. He's already planning his audition for next year."
"It was fantastic," Rachel says truthfully. "Everything I dreamed and more. The campus is gorgeous, Kurt's going to love it. Where is he?"
"He's in the backyard with everyone," Blaine replies. "I just came inside to get a soda and I saw you out there. Come on, just wait till you see what Burt's done with the garden – he put in a pool, can you believe it?" He stops short, noticing the hesitant look on her face. "What is it, Rachel?"
"Is Finn–" she starts. She shakes her head and starts to say that it doesn't matter, but Blaine lays a hand on her arm and smiles kindly.
"He's not here, if that's what you're asking," he says. "He left yesterday."
Rachel's shoulders slump in relief, but she also feels a small twinge of disappointment. She still loves Finn, after all. She would have wanted to say goodbye before he left – but then again, that's probably her fault for extending her stay in New York. She forces another smile and follows Blaine into the backyard.
"Rachel!"
As soon as Rachel steps onto the brand new patio, Kurt comes racing towards her, wrapping her in a tight hug. She laughs and hugs him back, burying her face in his neck. Like always, Kurt smells of coconut shampoo and some sort of fancy cologne that she's never been able to identify. More importantly, he smells like home. When he releases her, he's grinning.
"You have to tell me everything," he says, grabbing her hand and pulling her over to the pool, another new feature in the Hummel-Hudson household. The rest of the Glee club – minus Finn, of course – are situated around the pool, either lounging in deck chairs, dipping their toes in the water or standing by the barbecue, where Sam is flipping burgers. They greet her with much less gusto than Kurt, most of her old teammates just raising their heads and smiling.
"I'll tell you everything," Rachel promises, allowing him to push her into one of the deck chairs. She leans forward and takes his hands. "Just as soon as you tell me that you're okay about not getting in. Because I meant what I said, Kurt, I'll defer my acceptance if you want me to."
He waves a hand in the air dismissively. "Don't be ridiculous, Rachel. You're not going to throw your dream away because of me. I'm fine. I'm already working on an even better audition to impress Carmen Tibedeaux with next year. Now, tell me about NYADA. What's the campus like? Did you meet anyone? Was there–"
He rattles off a long list of questions, which Rachel answers with as much detail as she can remember. By the time Kurt allows her to stop talking, the burgers are ready and everyone starts to gather around to eat. Sam hands Rachel a burger, assuring her that it's veggie, and she can't help but think of how many times Finn forgot about her veganism.
As they eat, Rachel finds herself telling the NYADA story again. For once, Santana doesn't interrupt with any snarky comments – in fact, nobody interrupts. There seems to be an unspoken agreement not to mention Finn. Before long, Rachel finds herself easily slipping back into the rhythm of the New Directions. By the time the plates have been cleared, Rachel's barely thinking of Finn at all.
Until, that is, Quinn broaches the question that Rachel's been dreading for the last three weeks.
"Have you talked to Finn?"
A hushed silence falls over the group and suddenly, everyone finds excuses to be elsewhere – Sam hurries to clean the barbecue, Puck mutters something about the bathroom, Tina and Mike disappear with their hands clasped. Eventually, only Quinn, Blaine, Kurt, Rachel and Santana are left in the circle, and everyone's eyes are on Rachel. She takes a deep breath.
"No," she says, lifting her head. "He left a couple of voicemails on my phone but I – um, I wasn't ready to hear them." No-one replies. Rachel blinks. "It's not like it's a big deal," she says, but even as the words leave her mouth, she knows how stupid they are. Of course it's a big deal. She and Finn were supposed to get married.
"Of course it's not a big deal," Kurt says, patting her knee and shooting a look at the rest of the group that clearly says drop it. "Come with me, Rachel, I got a new moisturizer that would work wonders for your t-zone..." He drags her off the deck chair and up to his bedroom, clearly trying to repair the damage that Quinn's innocent question caused – but it's too late. The day is ruined. The hollow feeling in Rachel's stomach is back.
She's scared.
Thanks for reading :)