I knew Katniss would never be my Catnip ever again. I knew that things were over between us when Peeta came in. But, I've never lost hope. At least not yet. And that's the reason I'm waiting for the train to District 12.
It's been over 5 years. 5 years since I last spoke to Katniss. She thinks I'm a murderer, a monster. I killed Prim. I killed the only reason that kept Katniss living. I regret it. I regret everything that's happened after Prim was reaped for the Hunger Games.
But I had no choice. Katniss broke my heart, and I couldn't stand it. I needed a distraction. I just wanted to get away, to go as far away as I can get. But it wasn't very far. Not far enough. And disasters just led one to the other.
My Catnip is gone. Vanished. And in place left a person I hardly know, a person I couldn't care less about. But I did. I hoped all the time that there would still be a trace of the Katniss I once knew, but as each day came to an end, Catnip dwindled until there was no more. Catnip was no longer. Catnip, the one I loved, has disappeared. Even though I know that she won't be coming back, I haven't given up hope. I'm going to District 12 to bring out the Catnip I love, the one I knew for so long. But the odds were never in my favor.
The train has come to a stop. People crowded their way to the exit, as I slowly got up. People ushered me off, and before I knew it, I was back in District 12. I slowly wandered my way to my old house, and to my surprise, Mother was there.
"Mom." I stuttered.
In return, there was silence. The woman only held the slightest of surprise, before rushing up to me and embracing me with a warm greeting.
"'Gale." She said, in between tears.
We stood there, in silence. No one dared to say a word. But, I was running out of time. I had to break this reunion, before it could really get sad.
"Mom, where's Katniss' place?"
"It's located far out. It's on the edge of District 12. Huge house. Can't miss it." She was going to cry again. I waved goodbye and headed out.
Huge house, hmm? I can't believe it. Katniss would never choose a large house over her old house, which isn't destroyed. But, I don't know anything about Katniss anymore.
Once I got there, I knocked on the door, my mind racing with thoughts I was going to say. Peeta finally opened the door, the bored expression on his face turned into shock. Though he forced a smile, I could see in his eyes his hatred and disgust to me. I can't blame him.
"Peeta." I managed to say.
"Gale. Come in." He said it hesitantly, as if I was not welcomed. And I'm not.
"May I see Ca…tniss?" I seriously wanted to get this over with.
"Sure… Sure. Katniss! Come down!"
Katniss soon came down holding a small baby in her arms. I was shocked at how she looked. Instead of her usual braid, her brown hair was hanging loosely to her shoulders. She was wearing a fancy, but simple, knee length dress. Everything was different. And the moment she and Peeta embraced and kissed, I knew all hope was lost. She had moved on. She never looked back.
When she finally realized that I was here, she literally dropped the child.
"Gale…?" It was almost sad to hear her say that. It was made into a question, and it sounded full of anger.
"Gale, what are you doing here?" The sound in that question was full of disgust. I couldn't stand it anymore. There was no trace left of the Katniss I loved left. I turned to head out.
"Gale, wait." It was like a demand, she sounded as if she owned me. She's changed. My eyes are starting to water.
"No, Katniss. I've lost." And I ran out the door as fast as possible.
Everything changed that day of the reaping. Katniss fell for Peeta, Prim died, and I'm left as a wreck. I lost everything. I lose. I'm here, in the middle of our forest, silently crying. But I don't cry, I never cry.