Modern Chronicles of Avonlea
The ocean and beach were more beautiful and alive than Danielle Macdonald could have ever imagined, and her imagination soared further than most people's. "This beach must have been blessed by Poseidon," she thought as she both experienced the nature and was immersed in her novel. "The secure sand under my bare feet, both solid and liquid at the same time, the clouds looking as if they were painted by the angels, and the water, glinting from the golden sun rays poking through, I feel as if summer could continue on forever. Was this perhaps where Great-Grandmother Macdonald stood when she envisioned Paul Irving's Rock People? I thought perhaps I could see the Sailor Twins, and I myself was the beloved Nora." Danielle was forever either attempting to relive or at least making references to the world of Avonlea.
"Danni, there you are!"
"For the last time, it's Danielle, Danielle is a much more romantic name," she growled.
"You would think someone whose parents gave you an Avonlea namesake would give me some pity," she thought to herself. Her bosom friend Diana ignored the comment as she tossed her currently cherry-brown hair behind her.
"You're reading that book again? Why?!"
"Oh, you wouldn't understand. No one today understands a world that…refined." Danni loved Di with all her heart, but her fingers had begun to twitch on the finger imprints of the well-worn book.
"I do so care: I've proved it so far by not talking about the cute pair of gold sandal flats that I bought for the homecoming dance…oh, oops." Di let out her good nature giggle.
"But anyway that's book number…uh…two, right?"
"Anne of the Island, its number three Di, how many times do I have to tell you?"
"Oh whatever, you know I can only fake interest for so long. But hey, at least I fake it."
"Yeah we know, that's how Ian torments me the most, helping me inhabit 'the depths of despair.'"
"Another Anne quote. Danni, tell me, do you think you could go five minutes without turning into the imagination-Anne-of-Green-Gables-encyclopedia mode?"
"Who would want to? Great-Grandmother Macdonald, oh that's right….L.M. Montgomery to you, sure had the right idea. Well, every teenager in Cavendish disagrees I suppose, small minded idiots."
"Well thank you very much. Hey, we live in P.E.I. we all read the book in third grade, same as you. And I've seen the movie, who could miss it considering CBC runs it every other day."
"Ah yes, Kevin Sullivan, the genius director behind Anne of Green Gables, thanks but no thanks. As much as I dislike the people who don't care, my greatest contempt is for the people who do care, and flock to Cavendish like noisy seagulls along the shore. I mean what person who respects literature would go to the Green Gables Golf Course or The Rainbow Valley Family Fun Park?!"
"Hey, give them the benefit of the doubt; they're just trying to express their fandom."
"Yes, and Osama bin Laden was just trying to show his devotion to Allah. And the thing that bugs me the most is that my pocket change is blood money from that ancient copyright. I mean, a person travels hundreds of kilometers to see the "real" Green Gables, and my family bombards them with a merchandise room the size of a department store, in which one can purchase the Anne Doll, and the musical soundtrack, and the cartoon DVD, all for one overpriced penny. How one can feel imaginative in this tourist trap is beyond me. I mean look at this quote,"
"Oh no."
"Oh yes. When Anne's story is published as a baking advertisement: 'What do you think a mother would feel like if she found her child tattooed over with a baking powder advertisement? I feel just the same. I loved my poor little story, and I wrote it out of the best that was in me. And it is SACRILEGE to have it degraded to the level of a baking powder advertisement…' As far as I'm concerned, imagination is as good as dead."
It was the first day of school for Danni, and she was returning yet again to Cavendish Secondary School.
"Thank heavens I'm entering senior year", she thought to herself as she left number 67 St. Glen Avenue (no more names for homes anymore, and street names around here are all ripped from Anne), "then I can finally get out of this stagnant town and actually find something interesting in the world."
"Hey bookworm, what's wrong with the world today?" Ian said, grinning as he sat next to her in homeroom, meaning that she was stuck with his tormenting for the next ten months.
"Whatever happened to separate seating at school?" Danni thought, as she gave her best fake-glare to her Gilbert Blythe.
She then returned to Anne of Green Gables, which was indeed just about to focus on that very character. "She had an odd, newly awakened consciousness under all her outraged dignity that the half-shy, half-eager expression in Gilbert's hazel eyes was something that was very good to see… But the bitterness of her old grievance promptly stiffened up her wavering determination. That scene of two years before flashed back into her recollection as vividly as if it had taken place yesterday. Gilbert had called her "carrots" and had brought about her disgrace before the whole school… She hated Gilbert Blythe! She would never forgive him!" Oh, how she would compare every man she ever met to Gilbert Blythe, the ideal gentlemen.
"So Danni, you're just going to ignore me for the next ten months?" Danni rolled her eyes.
"Leave her alone!" Diana responded, taking her seat behind Danni, and grinned at Ian, who was just as handsome as the famous Gilbert. Danni simply grinned back at Di and replied,
"Thanks Di, so what's on the shopping list today?"
"Well, Jewel and I were thinking shopping for homecoming dresses, and then maybe we can get you into a dress that shows, oh my god, your ankles!"
"Okay, is there something so wrong with wearing skirts that go to my knees, and a simple sweater? It wouldn't kill the world to be a little modest once in a while. Besides, I need Ms. Smith's advice on how to feel imaginative with my writing, so that I can get into Carleton Journalism, and finally get the hell out of here!"
"Why do you look up to Ms. Smith so much? I mean she's just a teacher," Ian asked, shaking his head.
"Ian Williams, I'm shocked at you. For someone as smart as yourself, albeit in the sciences, I would think you would recognize a teacher like Anne's Miss Stacey, 'a bright, sympathetic young woman with the happy gift of winning and holding the affections of her pupils and bringing out the best that was in them mentally and morally' if she was right in front of your nose for four years!"
"Wow, that's sad, did you just recite that quote by heart?"
"Ian…why am I friends with you?"
Ms. Smith, a fantastic teacher, was what Danni had entitled the "Kindred Spirit" of Anne fans. It was this reason that, although with shaking hands, after everyone left home room, that she handed Ms. Smith her writing on living in Cavendish.
"So what do you think?" She asked after the minute that felt like an hour.
"Well, Danielle, I think you have a lot of promise as a writer, and that if you keep this up you will definitely get into the Journalism program."
"But what about my inspiration?" Danni begged. "Every despairing day I feel as if I am sliding into the nonchalant world of YouTube addicted zombies and that if I stay here much longer my brain-cells will perish one by one until I become one myself!" Ms. Smith simply smiled at Danni's very poetic words, so much like those of her Great-Grandmother.
"My suggestion is to observe the world around you; you may find more parallels between your world and Anne's than you think."
"What is she thinking?!" Danni mulled over her words even hours later. "She is officially off my limited list of Kindred Spirits!"
The next morning Danni appeared to her friends more moody and disgruntled than usual, looking as if she had witnessed the destruction of the world. Which, in a way, she had.
"Yet again, the modern world has decided to put a damper on my simple and modest dreams," she began in her one of many rants to Ian.
"I was sure I had found it, the one last beautiful place on God's given earth. The sand which had once been littered with hope, tranquility…dreams, now is littered, with recently put out cigarettes, gum wrappers, Styrofoam plates, plastic cutlery…but worst of all, what lay partially buried in the sand was a 'Welcome To Anne-land!' guidebook! Hey, pals, go back and read your books, and see what you're doing!"
"Tough break," responded Ian. At this Danni threw up her hands. "See, even the most… decent of teenagers don't care! We're all so damn apathetic! In Anne of Avonlea the local teens initiated the A.V.I.S."
"The what?"
"Avonlea Village Improvement Society, 'lots of things which might be done to make it prettier,' and today I can barely get my own friends to care."
"Okay, okay Bookworm, I get the point. Isn't our whole society just a bunch of YouTube addicted zombies?"
"Do men never learn, be it 'carrots' or 'bookworm', insulting nicknames are NOT compliments. And his eyes are twinkling, the immature boy!" Danni barely had to think this, she had repeated the thought in her brain until it was published as much as the millions of copies of Anne books.
"You know it's not polite to eavesdrop."
"That's not the point. So you'll be my date to homecoming, right?"
"No."
"No? Why not, it's not like you're going to get any other offers."
An hour later, Danni was still ranting, this time to Di.
"WELL! First there was the death of the imagination, then the death of the environment, and now the death of the gentleman. What happened to men like Roy Gardener, who lent Anne his umbrella during the storm, or the way Gilbert humbly explains that there wouldn't be any "diamond sunbursts and marble halls" when they first got married. Oh, the romantic words exchanged within those final pages of Anne of the Island, and I'm lucky if I can get a single compliment! This time I will never forgive Ian Williams!"
Unfortunately for Danni, her general disillusionment with her generation was generally known by everyone in Cavendish Secondary School, and had succeeded in making her several enemies. The most tormenting of characters was Hayley Ashlington, whom Danni entitled the modern Josie Pye. If there was ever a girl who was meant to inhabit high school, it was Hayley, one who thrived off popular culture, and embodied the vacuous Paris Hilton ideal.
"If there's anyone who exemplifies the 21st Century, it's that bitch," Danni commented at lunch on Friday. She had successfully avoided Hayley until that morning, and was now moping in the corner of the cafeteria.
" 'Good morning, Danni, or is it Anne today? How was your summer? Of course you'd enjoy wearing a straw hat and long ugly dresses all day, but I'd personally rather travel and suntan on the Parisian coast in my little French bikini.'
I mean, I know her father has enough money to ship her off to Europe, but some of us actually have to work if we want to get away. And does she think I like being a tour guide for Green Gables and having to wear that obnoxious costume, it goes entirely against my principles!"
"Danni, you know this doesn't matter. What matters is what if Jimmy doesn't ask me to homecoming, cuz he too obsessed with Hayley and her cronies!"
"Don't worry Di, he'll ask you once he gets his puny head to remember to, or once Ian starts moping about how I rejected him."
"Oh Danni, again?"
Like Anne, Danni's strong suit was not sciences or math, "no matter how hard I try to be good I can never make such a success of it as those who are naturally good. It's a good deal like geometry, I expect", therefore in Biology labs she usually worked with Ian. This time however, despite Ian's constant begging, Danni refused to forgive and work with him, but immediately regretted the decision when the Biology teacher said:
"Well Danni, I suppose you and Hayley will have to work together."
"What?!" Hayley shrieked in ear-splitting tones. "There is no way I am working with THAT!" Danni wasn't sure if Hayley meant herself or the frogs they were about to dissect, but Hayley greeted them both with the same look of repulsion.
"Okay, there is no way, I am touching that thing."
"Look Hayley, there's only one way we can deal with being lab partners. Now, we know you're a condescending clone with about as many brain-cells or inimitable thoughts as an amoeba, and that I am an ingenious artist who sees little art within the methodical fields, and therefore am merely trying to pass this course. Now that aside, we can move on." Danni never had a clue about what occurred next, but one moment she was turning around to collect paper from her binder, and the next moment she had slipped and fallen face forward into a plateful of dead frogs, with Hayley and the rest of the class laughing like the pack of hyenas they were. Twenty minutes later Danni was still in the bathroom trying to wipe the slime off her face, and Di, leaning against the sink next to her, was trying not to laugh.
"That wretched girl, I swear the generations have made 'villainess' girls even more horrid than they were in great-grandmothers' day."
"Oh Danni, it's just some harmless slime. And we know what klutzes 'Story Girls' tend to be, it's possible you slipped yourself."
"Well all I know is that no combinations of animals are good for girls with imaginations, whether it be frogs or Jersey cows."
"Another reference?"
"Hey, I'm covered in slime, just give me one more. Anne, in a moment of one of her tempers sells her cow Dolly because it keeps getting into her neighbour's yard. However, Anne "sold Mr. Harrison's Jersey Cow…the one he bought from Mr. Bell…to Mr. Shearer! Dolly is out in the milking pen this very minute."
"See, you're not the only one to get into scrapes. Well, it's a shame you can't revenge the frog, it's reached its limits because it's already dead."
Hours later, the green slime still seemed to stick to Danni's flaming locks. "That horrible Josie Pye - I mean, Hayley. I can't blame her, she is simply cranky because she doesn't get enough to eat, and she does not get enough to eat because society demands that she be anorexic. But Josie Pye was put into a family which raised her to be spoiled and pampered… And Ian would not stop calling, had he never learned the meaning of the word no? And yet at the same time, his words were so honest and she was dying to forgive him, to love him like…Gilbert Blythe. She longed to feel inspired to return to the way things were…the way Anne reminisced. What Ms. Smith had said, was it possible?
Danni's tumultuous thoughts were abruptly interrupted by her father's gentle knock on her bedroom door.
"Daddy, what is it, things aren't too good right now!"
"Look, honey, I know you usually only do this during the summer, and I know you hate it, but one of my Anne actresses hasn't shown up today, so I was wondering if you could…"
"Ugh, you know how much it goes against my entire being to assist in the globalization of the Anne Franchise. But, an Anne of Modern Avonlea…maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all."