This is my first ever fanfiction, so be gentle with me. And I know the characters are completely OOC, but I had the sudden urge to write this, so I did. Usually my stories are darker, but I hope this brings you as much joy as it brought me. Of corse, it was probably just a sugar rush that made me laugh so hard, but who knows. Oh, and review please! Thanks!

The clock struck midnight. The Joker awoke with a start as the grandfather clock made loud and echoing ding-dong sounds. He grabbed the gun he always kept under his pillow and shot the clock one, two, three times. The dinging continued.

"Damn it!" He screamed. He jumped up, his makeup smudged and his purple suit wrinkled – he never took off his suit, never. He ran over to the clock and kicked it as hard as he could. The dinging went on. "SHUT UP!" He yelled again. A henchman came in wearing silk pajamas and carrying a teddy bear.

"Need help, boss?" He asked with a yawn.

"Shut this damn clock off!" The Joker cried. The henchman found a switch in the back and clicked it off. At once the clock stopped dinging.

"That all, boss?"

The Joker, annoyed with himself, pulled up the gun and shot the henchman through the head. "How dare you outsmart me!" He said loudly. He tossed the gun aside and it slid under his bed.

Now he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He reached down and took the teddy bear. It was small and brown. His hand stroked the fur.

"Nice bear," he said with a smile. "I'll name you Hank. Would Hanky like a blankie?" He set the bear under the covers and propped its head on a pillow. "Now Hank's all comfy, isn't he?" The Joker, immediately bored again, picked the bear back up and started skipping around the room with the bear in his hands, humming a waltz. Soon they were dancing all over the room. "I love you Hank," said the Joker, and they began a slow dance.

The Joker, so preoccupied with Hank, didn't notice Batman staring at him through the window. There was a flash of lightning, followed by a bang of thunder. The Joker heard a girly shriek and a crash. Batman fell through the window after being startled by the sudden noise. The Joker clutched Hank to his chest.

"It's ok, Hank," The Joker cooed. "Batman, you scream like a girl."

"Shut up," Batman growled. He stood up and brushed the pieces of glass off his suit. The Joker burst into a fit of giggles that soon turned to hysteria. "I said SHUT UP!" But the Joker didn't listen, or couldn't hear, for his laughter soon got so violent that Hank's head ripped right off. The Joker shrieked (a manly shriek).

"HANK! NOOOOOOOO!" The Joker didn't cry. He hasn't cried since first grade. But he screamed and beat his fists on the wall. Batman, unsure what to do, approached and patted The Joker's shoulder.

"It's ok," Batman said. "I can fix it." He took Hank and pulled out his Bat-needle and Bat-thread. In a few seconds Hank's head was back in place. "Here ya go," said Batman, and handed the Joker his newly un-decapitated friend. The Joker took Hank and gave him a huge bear hug (no pun intended).

"Aw, Hanky, you're all right."

Batman cleared his throat. "You're welcome," he said in a low, harsh voice.

"You scream like a girl," said the Joker. Batman came in to punch Joker in the face.

"I… DO… NOT!" He yelled. So wrapped up in rage, Batman forgot that he was still soaking wet from the rain. He slipped and hit his head on the side of the bed. He passed out at once.

The Joker turned away and left the room. "No wonder he's always so pissy."