Title: The Promise

Author: Jeanine (jeanine@iol.ie)

Rating: PG

Pairing: Tony/Michelle

Spoilers: Specifically, season two, episode 8, 3-4pm. Everything up to that, and after that is pure speculation.

Feedback: Makes my day

Disclaimer: If it was in the show, it's not mine.

Archive: At my site The Band Gazebo (helsinkibaby.topcities.com) Anywhere else please ask first.

Summary: He was an honest man and he made her a promise.

Author's Note: I don't usually write 24 fanfic, and especially not post-ep, because what's the point if it's going to be thrown out in a week? This however, popped into my head when I saw Episode 8, specifically the Tony/Michelle scene where he promises her they're both going to survive the day. Because, and this is pure speculation, if that's anything, it's the signature of a death warrant! So this is one scenario that might play out, with a major angst alert. It was also written in literally half an hour, so if it makes no sense, this is why! Also, I'm completely spoiler free for anything past this, so please remember that if you're feedbacking!

***

A smattering of light fluffy clouds are buffeted past on a light breeze as the sun shines down on him from a clear blue sky. All around him are the muted sounds of people laughing, talking, going about their every day business. Enjoying themselves without a care in the world.

Living.

He should be one of those people, he knows that. Just like he knows that if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for people like him, none of those people would be alive right now. The world would be a completely different place, millions dead, injured, missing.

He did a good day's work, he should be proud of himself. He should be able to enjoy this beautiful morning in downtown Los Angeles, he should be able to enjoy the sunshine.

But he's not the only one who should be able to do that, and that's the knowledge that keeps the heat of the sun from warming him, that settles in his heart like a rock, radiating cold to the marrow of his bones.

He's always prided himself on being an honest man, loyal to his friends. It was something his parents insisted on, something that served him well during his time in the Marines; that adherence to the so-called Golden Rule, always treat others as you'd like them to treat you. He's done that all his life. Given honesty to others without question, expected to be treated the same way. Been disgusted when he didn't receive it.

In a way, that's why Nina's betrayal hurt so much, because he did trust her. He took her into his home, his bed, his heart, only to find that she wasn't who he thought she was, far from it. That instead of being a kind, funny beautiful woman, she was a monster.

It took a long time to get over that, and in one of those great moments of irony, when he finally was, when he was finally able to look at another woman, to contemplate maybe moving past the line of friendship with her, he found out that Nina was even more of a monster, capable of more treachery than he'd ever imagined.

He'd sworn to himself after Nina that he'd never be less than honest with people. Also that he'd never get involved with someone else from work.

Then he met her.

He noticed that she was attractive right from the start; any man would with those big eyes, that perfect complexion. And he could talk to her and he could work with her, but that was it, nothing more than that. Not even when she began dropping oh-so-subtle hints that she was attracted to him. Not even when he realised that he was just a little bit attracted to her too.

He was an honest man, but he denied it, to himself, and by implication, to her.

He told himself that it would go away, that he'd get over it, that she would.

Except it didn't go away, and neither one of them got over it.

But nothing happened, not even close, until the day that walls fell and chaos reigned and people were bleeding, screaming, dying all around them. In the midst of all that madness, he looked into her eyes and realised just how wrong he'd been, just how dishonest he'd been with himself.

It wasn't the time or the place to tell her that though, so they had no choice but to go back to work, her on the computers in CTU, him out in the field. He did his job, concentrated on interrogating Reza and Warner, and didn't let himself think about those big brown eyes that he could get lost in.

He managed to get along fine until he got back to CTU, looked into those eyes again when he asked about Paula, saw them look away from his with a little shake of the head. He wanted to ask more questions, ask her how she was, anything, but he knew he still had work to do, knew that had to be his priority.

It seemed like hours later that he got to look in those eyes again, when they were filled with tears and she was about an inch away from falling apart in front of him. He tried to get her to eat, to shower, to change, anything to distract her from the computers and the headphones and other people's blood on her skin, but she wouldn't move.

That's when he'd made her a promise, that they were going to survive that day.

And she'd looked up at him and she'd believed him. He'd seen that in her eyes.

Those were the same eyes that he saw in his dreams every night, every time he closed his eyes. His words echoed in his ears, his honest earnest words that he'd meant with every fibre of his being. Because dammit, he might have lied to her about his feelings for her, mightn't have been entirely honest with her up to now, but that was all going to change.

He was going to tell her.

They were going to be happy.

Because he was an honest man and he made her a promise.

He knows it's the guilt that chills him, the guilt that he lied to her for so long and never got to tell her the truth.

The guilt that comes from having to live with making a promise that he didn't keep.

The guilt that comes with knowing she doesn't.