A/N: Y'know, I don't really have much to say about this, except that I kinda played around with Quatre's 'space heart' a bit... . Well please enjoy! ~KLS
Summary: They said they would take away his humanity. Now, looking through the mirror at the shattered remains of his past, his humanity is the one thing he doesn't want to lose. One-shot/No pairings.
Warnings: Yeah, it's angsty… and for those of you who haven't seen the movie Endless Waltz… You'll have some trouble following.
Anything Important?: Why yes, reviews are very important. You should get on that, huh?
Heero closed his eyes as he stood in front of the window, leaning his head against the cold glass. Everyone else was gone and the lights were off. They'd be back soon, Duo and Trowa had left to get medical supplies that the group was running disturbingly low on and Quatre and Trowa went to get food since none of the five knew how long they were going to stay at their current hide-out cover. Heero had stayed behind to watch the place, make sure no unexpected visits happened.
He could still feel the blood flow from his hand. He hadn't wrapped it since he'd cut it. He'd have to buy a new mirror or something though. The bloodied knuckles were sore and painful, but that was the price he had to pay. He opened his eyes, a flash of white from the sky above, a little girl with a white hat in the window, a clenched fist to remind himself of the pain of the present.
He escaped the memory as she disappeared with the lightening. He closed his eyes again as thunder growled out. He began to hear light taps. Water nudged at the window, quietly at first, before strengthening and becoming numerous, going against the vanity of trying to break through, as if it were outraged and insulted it couldn't enter, and absolutely refused to give up. His nails dug into his palms.
He'd break his skin soon, his knuckles protested against the stretching of the skin, burning and stinging unfailingly. Slowly, he loosened his fist; hand hanging limply once more, a fading sting was the reminder of the best outrage his hand gave. It was harder to tell what blood was and what skin was now.
Heero stood in front of the mirror staring at his reflection. The blank stare slowly fell away as he stood motionlessly as if his body was fascinated by the layers of mask slipping off one after another.
Indifference was replaced by anger and anger by sadness, sadness consumed by happiness which was quickly erased by regret. Guilt surfaced and vulnerability shone through the guilt. Then he was replaced, a little dog lay dead in the snow colored ash. A small white hat was about to be taken away by the wind. His hand flew up on fear-stricken impulse.
Cracks shattered the images before they could appear, and a dark liquid fell down to the sink. Slowly his hand moved away. The wall behind the mirror was blank and dark, revealing nothing.
Water fell unnoticed by the teen. To him, it was just the rain. The window was gone and the rain was hitting his face that was all. He wasn't even in the room, awareness lost him and he fell back into the nightmare he could never escape. The sky was shining and Heero was enjoying himself. He sat up on a grassy hill, soaking in all of the free time he had. A little girl came up to him.
"Mister, are you lost?" Heero stared at her sadly for a moment, reflecting on the question. He looked at the girl regretfully.
"I've been lost my entire life." He replied truthfully, quietly. She stood for a moment; a small lab at her side, the puppy stared up at Heero sadly, as if in sympathetic understanding, her midnight blue eyes shining softly.
"That sounds sad." The child replied after a moment. "I'm not lost. I'm walking Mary!" she said happily indicating the puppy as she bent down. Her white hat covered her eyes, but the puppy licked her face. She giggled before she held something out to him. Studying it carefully, Heero noticed it was a yellow flower, just a small yellow flower.
"Here, this is for you!" she exclaimed happily. Carefully, Heero took it. Mary ran off, and the little girl started off. "Hey Mary, wait for me. Bye Mister!" she called waving back at Heero before chasing after her puppy, brown hair trailing behind her like a tail. Heero stared at the flower before standing up, flower still in hand.
An explosion gone wrong, the mobile suit doll fell the wrong way, separating from the chain reaction the others were following. Heero turned sharply, knowing something was wrong. Nothing was supposed to be that big! The doll fell into the city. NO! This wasn't working right. What happened? He ran, faster than he had ever run in his life. He walked the ash ridden city, looking for any sign of the little girl.
Ash continued to fall from the sky, like snow. He watched the results of his mistake with heavy eyes. He stopped, seeing a small lab. Mary's eyes were closed, she lay on the ground bruised…dead. He walked over to her, bending down he picked her up and continued to walk. He saw the white hat that belonged to the girl, never finding the owner.
He buried Mary along with the hat where he had first met her. Holding the yellow flower, Heero closed his eyes. This would be his only, and last, failure.
"Hey talk about good timing, right?" Duo smiled as he laid eyes on Quatre and WuFei, Trowa walking behind him. All held bags of some sort, and Quatre nodded.
"Yeah, talk about coincidence. I think we should be quiet when we enter though Duo." The braided teen cocked his head to the side, amethyst eyes shining in question.
"Why, what's up Quat?"
"The lights were off when we were coming up. He might be asleep." WuFei answered. Duo snorted, but nodded all the same.
"You think Wuffie? I mean, this is Heero we're talking about right? We did leave him behind? He wouldn't fall asleep when he's got work to do."
"We'll find out soon enough." Trowa intervened before WuFei could snap at Duo for slandering his name. Quatre nodded in agreement as WuFei opened the door. The Chinese teen froze for a second before entering the complex.
"Hey 'Ro, we're ho-o-ome!" Duo called out obnoxiously, giant grin on his face.
"Maxwell, shut up!" WuFei snapped as he flipped a switch, flooding the place with light. Quatre stopped as the door shut behind him, brow furrowed in concern. Something was wrong…seriously wrong. His 'space heart' could feel it, but he couldn't pinpoint what it was.
"Duo, take this and go put it in the bathroom for me, will you?" Trowa asked quietly, the boy turned back and nodded taking the bags from the taller teen and walking towards the bathroom. Quatre felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into green eyes.
"Trowa…" he said in an admittedly nervous voice. His expression was filled with concern.
"Are you all right?" he asked quietly. Quatre thought for a moment, before nodding slowly.
"I think so…Trowa where's Heero? I think there's something wrong with him." He said. WuFei turned around, looking to the Arab in askance having overheard the statement.
"Something wrong with Yuy?" he asked. A startled cry had them all running for the bathroom, bags forgotten at the door. Duo stood in surprise and peering over him, Trowa understood why. The mirror was broken, cracked and smashed; shards of glass were on the counter, along with traces of blood. Duo turned sharply, his eyes dangerously lethal. His voice was low, something that's always a bad thing when Duo's using it.
"Search the place. Find Yuy." He said. No one bothered to question it. The search was short and Quatre was the next one to yell. Everyone moved to the living room quickly, Quatre was leaning against the doorway, clutching at his chest as he slipped down to the floor, shaking. Trowa moved to help him quickly as WuFei and Duo entered the room fully eyeing each other and the teen standing in front of them nervously. Heero had his back to them; his right hand was dripping with blood. The carpet under his hand was stained with it.
"Hey Quat, are you all right?" Duo asked, standing in between Quatre and Heero with WuFei. Quatre opened an eye and stared directly at Heero shaking his head slightly.
"So…much…pain." He gasped his 'space heart' opening fully, dangerously. "Whatever's happening to him…it's tearing him up. Duo…" Duo switched gazes back to Heero worriedly. He was receiving all of that pain from Heero. Slowly, Duo approached.
"Hey, 'Ro what's up?" he asked loudly. Heero didn't react as if he wasn't even heard. "Heero…come on man. What the hell are you doing?" He touched his arm to force the other to look at him and gasped, eyes widening as he backed up a bit. "Heero…" he whispered still in shock. He watched crystalline tears fall in a steady rhythm from closed eyes. Duo grabbed his shoulders, hard, and shook him. "Heero…come on, look at me Yuy!" Heero's eyes flew open.
"Heero…" the voice was familiar. The voice was far. He wasn't with it. He almost didn't want to be, here he could be alone. He didn't have to hide what was destroyed. He had emotions here. He was human here. "Heero…" but was he needed elsewhere?
Heero opened his eyes, slowly coming out of the memory that had taken control of him. He stared confused at Duo for a minute.
"Duo…?" Duo moved forward, embracing the teen in front of him. Heero blinked. "What the hell…Duo let go." He said. He glanced to the side and immediately found out what happened. One glance at Quatre on the ground told him everything and more. "Shit," he cursed audibly. Again, the boys were shocked. This was a first, but not quite as shocked as they had been when they'd seen him crying. The flow had stopped. "Quatre you…" guilt and regret overwhelmed him at once. He slipped up again. "Are you all right?" Quatre stared back in surprise and worry nodding.
"I'm fine Heero. It's you I'm worried about." Duo had backed away, but he was still holding on to Heero firmly. His eyes were swarming with concern and worry. Heero winced again.
"Mister…" gasping, the brunette reached for his head, shutting his eyes tightly, the tear flow coming back full force.
"Heero!" his name was called in alarm. He fell to the ground on his knees, Duo with him, wrapping a protective arm around him. He whispered in the other's ear. Words of comfort flowing smoothly, small circles were rubbed on his back. Heero shook, shaking his head. Suddenly, he stopped.
The teens watched nervously and Quatre found he was getting nervous and hopeful at the same time. Both of the waves came from Heero. Slowly, Quatre got to his feet and leaned against the wall closing his eyes. He felt Trowa and WuFei helping him, ignoring them, he focused on Heero. Maybe…just maybe he'd be able to see what Heero was.
"Come on Heero…" he murmured quietly. "Let me in…please…" He opened his eyes again and looked back over to Heero only to gasp in surprise as he was met with a little girl. She wore a white dress and had a white hat on her head. Her brown hair was tied back in a ponytail and she was holding something out to Heero still in Duo's arms. He could hear her.
"Here Mister…This is for you." Quatre narrowed his eyes, eyeing the small yellow flower. "I'm glad." Her voice was small, suiting the child she was. She giggled. "You're not lost anymore, are you?" Quatre watched Heero silently. Heero glanced to his side at Duo before looking around the room and locking gazes with Quatre. Quatre smiled hopefully. Looking a little surprised, Heero turned back to the girl, smiling softly.
"No…Not anymore." He answered. She disappeared, and Heero looked back to Duo who looked like a copy of Quatre with all the worry that was radiating off of him. "Not anymore…" he whispered. The boy in return gave him the perfect look of confusion.
"Are you all right Heero?" he asked quietly, feeling stupid for doing so. He instantly banished the feeling with his response.
"Yes, Duo…For once in my life, I really am okay." For the first time since a failed mission, Heero smiled. The others all stared at him, absorbing the expression all silently thinking the same thing. They'd seen him smile; he smiled like a crazed maniac on missions, especially when he went psychotic. No, this was a real smile. It suits him.