Bucky was wondering. He did that a lot. He wondered why they let him live inside the Tower. He wondered why they ate in his presence. He wondered why they slept knowing he was there.
But at this moment he was wondering why he had often so much trouble sleeping, even though they had altered his body to be better… Faster, more powerful, healthier. Still, better at sleeping wasn't one of the things they had accomplished.
On top of that, he felt uneasy, and knew he had to let off some steam. Steve had advised him to do so by going to the training room and practice some blows and punches - so that's what he did.
Every time his fists hit, they sunk a little into the encasing of the punching bag. The encasing tensed, and ripped a little bit. Little by little, the punching bag diminished.
Suddenly, he heard soft footsteps behind him.
It was the redheaded woman, Romanoff. He remembered chasing her, shooting her. Almost killing her. Then again, he remembered trying to kill (and almost succeeding) Steve. But he should forget that - that's what Steve said. It hadn't been him, so he should let it go.
Romanoff seemed just as surprised to see him there, though her surprise quickly turned to an amused smile.
'So I'm not the only one who can't sleep - though I thought you were Steve.'
Bucky shrugged - uncomfortably. 'Not Steve.'
'No, not Steve.' her smile broadened. 'We've never talked before, have we? Though Steve's told a lot about you.'
'Really?' Like always, that one question kept going through his head: "could he trust her?" every time he met someone, this was all he could think about. However, he knew Steve trusted her. In fact, they were good friends. 'Only good things, I hope.'
'You know Steve, of course he only told good things.' Now she saw Bucky let go off some of the tension in his pose, Romanoff approached him. 'I was thinking- since we both can't sleep- we might spar a bit. It helps to quite the voices in my head.' She grinned.
Bucky slowly nodded. 'Yes. I think that might help.'
'Good.'
They then faced each other, finding their balance on the training mats. Romanoff raised an eyebrow. Bucky nodded.
The woman swung at him, fast and swift, almost a haze. But Bucky was quick, too. It wasn't easy, but he could deflect her blows. At first he did hold back. Soon, however, he gave himself more freedom, so he really used his body.
The fight was intense, and too fast for anyone to follow from the outside. The powerful motions were freeing, and after they had been sparring for a while, they both had a content smile on their face.
The scuffle ended when they both were out of breath, letting themselves fall down on the mat. Romanoff crossed her legs, and Bucky followed her example, though one leg slight tilted so his foot was almost flat on the ground.
'Natasha, isn't it?'
'Yeah, and you're Bucky.' Natasha fluttered her wide nightshirt, in an attempt to create a bit of wind to cool down her heated face. 'Times like this you really miss good ol' mother Russia, don't you?'
Bucky let out a soft laugh. 'No, not really.'
'I know. It's like living in a five star hotel here.'
'Do you get used to it?' Bucky genuinely wondered this quite often. Would he ever feel at home here?
'Eventually. When the memories start to fade. Though they never leave.' A shadow crossed get face. Bucky recognised that shadow. She had seen much - done much. And now she was looking back.
'Sometimes,' she said quietly, 'sometimes I wake up from a dream, and forget where I am. It all comes back to me, like it never left. As if I never left…' Her dark thoughts were very evident now.
Bucky felt bad for her. Seeing her sad expression made him feel bad. 'But you did settle down, blend in. I can see you're really part of them.'
The smile returned to Natasha's face. 'I got some help. You'll get there too. Especially with Steve on your side; he's such a good friend.'
Bucky looked down at his hands, the corners of his mouth turned upwards. 'He is. A very good friend.'
Natasha rose and took a few steps towards the door. She stopped when standing beside Bucky, and put a hand on his shoulder.
'Just don't forget that. As long as you remember that, you'll be okay.'
'I'll keep it in mind,' Bucky said gratefully.
'Good.' She now made her way top the door. On the threshold she turned back. 'Nice talking to you.'
'Yeah, it was. Thank you.'
Natasha grinned, saluted and walked away.
'Don't let the bed bugs bite,' Bucky heard her call.
He chuckled. Surprised he found himself sleepy, relaxed, ready to go back to his bed.
Snuggling himself underneath his unsettling soft blanket, he thought back on Natasha's words. He'd get used to it. He'll just have to be patient.
Well, at least that was one thing he was good at: waiting