I do not own the characters of the lyrics to the Anarbor song used here.
Pretty but Naïve
"Just be pretty but naïve. Anything you hear is what you believe."
I pretend I don't notice.
The way he looks at her. Some sort of adoration in his eyes. I want him to give me that look. Just once. Discover how it feels to seem like the only girl in the room. I just want some sort of sign that we will happen. That it will be just me and Cam together in the world. One on one and ready to take on almost anything on.
My mom always did say I was a dreamer. I dream of having it all; of being it all. I dream of being the most beautiful girl in the world. Of being the smartest. Of being the best. But they're just dreams. They're always just dreams.
When he tells me it's over, I pretend to not have expected it. I hope for a little flash of regret in his eyes. A little waver in his pitying demeanor. For him to lose the swagger in his step for a second.
It doesn't happen. It never happens.
Sometimes I think of what could have been. If I could have been born as Claire Lyons instead of plain old Olivia Ryan. Then maybe I would finally have everything I desire most.
A girl can hope, right? A girl can hope.