Yuu wasn't sure how he'd ended up on the sidewalk outside of a bar at midnight. It might've involved some ill-placed senses and a whole lot of liquor paired with a few feet or knees in his face, but that was all hearsay. He couldn't really remember to be honest. All he was absolutely clear on was he'd gotten his ass kicked out of the bar, and Suga was on the phone somewhere behind him while he cradled his aching head between his knees.
"Yeah he's fine. Just a little beat up." Suga laughed.
Noya's head said otherwise.
"Daichi and I are..." Suga got quiet. "Worried... Yeah. That might help. I appreciate it, see you soon." Suga hung up and kneeled down to his friend. "Noya?"
He'd gotten a muffled groan in response. It was better than nothing.
"Someone's gonna come pick you up okay?"
Yuu was willing to curl up on the cement if it meant he could sleep already. Suga grunted as he lowered himself down to sit next to his friend. They were silent for a second. The world around them just sort of sped by while they kept still. Passer-by's moved around them in groups. No one paid much attention to them.
"You're still upset aren't you." It didn't sound like a question. It sounded more like Suga already knew the answer. He had a way of doing that.
"I appreciate the concern but I really don't wanna talk about it." Noya ran his hands over his face and up through his hair. "I'm really drunk and not stable enough for twenty questions."
Suga laughed. "Right. I forgot how mentally sobering a kick to the face is."
No more statement-questions were posed. Silence crept up again. Noya didn't usually fall for any guilt trips but fuck, Suga didn't have to say anything to guilt him. He could feel the worry radiating in his direction.
"Look. I know everyone's all worried about me and while I appreciate the attention," Yuu figured the best way to assuage fears is to coat everything in a thick layer of joke narcissism. Works every time. And it might be the only way he could say anything close to emotional at this point in time. "I'm ok. Kinda." He realized he didn't sound very convincing. "Honestly I'm getting used to this? I don't know. It's stupid. I'm stupid."
Suga rubbed his back. "You're both stupid."
"Gee thanks."
The smile Suga threw his way was playful but still soft.
Noya didn't notice the car pull up until he heard the door shut and Suga stood up beside him.
"Hey, thanks for this." Suga thanked the mystery ride.
"I... It's no problem."
Noya stiffened. That fucking voice.
"Are you sure? I know you're busy and you have work I'm sorry if this took you out of your way."
"No! Really it's fine. One of the guys needed an extra shift anyway so he was more than happy to take mine."
That warm, familiar, soft, heartbreaking fucking voice. Out of all the people Suga COULD have called, and he chose this one.
Finally, Suga had decided to address Noya in this whole situation. "I'm sure you can manage to get to the car yourself right, Yuu?"
Noya pretended he wasn't listening. This was the absolute last place on Earth he wanted to be right now. It had been two months. Two fucking months and not once had he heard anything from that dickbag. Though it didn't look like Suga had missed much of anything, which grated on Noya's nerves more than he'd care to admit. He was just the tiniest bit salty about it.
"Yuu? Di-"
"Yeah sorry I'm cool." He stood up and placed his arms behind his head, trying to look casual. He swayed a tiny bit to the left which was probably because of the whole kick to the face thing. Neither of the other men seemed to notice so after getting steadied Noya approached the car. "I'll call you tomorrow Suga!"
"Looking forward to it." Suga said with a slight hum to it.
He hadn't really recalled opening the door and hopping inside of the car. But the sound of the engine humming and soft rock music coming from the speakers was being burned into his memory. He would always remember this. Just like every other time he'd been in this exact position. God he didn't want to be there. Everything sucked. His face hurt like fuck, his head was still swimming, he was tired, and he was stuck in this damn car with Asahi. Noya leaned his head against the cool window and sighed. Truthfully he wasn't going to complain. Asahi was usually a good guy. He'd known him for years. Gone to school with him and played volleyball with him, gone to college with him even, what little time Yuu had stayed in school. For the most part Asahi didn't have a mean bone in his body. Hell he had bothered to skip work and pick his dumb ass up. And Noya knew calling in was one of the things that set Asahi's anxiety off big time.
But recently Noya had been trying to convince himself that all of that had been too good to be true. Good people don't press someone into their dorm door and kiss them breathless, then not talk to them for three days. Good people don't act like nothing happened and then do it again six months later. Good people don't come knocking at someone's door at three in the morning and leave that person with nothing but hickeys and a note that says 'Sorry' when the sun comes up. Three times. This time had the longest interlude, leaving Noya with nothing but silence and his own thoughts for two fucking months.
He grit his teeth. Good people didn't do that. So why did he still feel like stopping the car and kissing any part of Asahi he could reach? Noya had assumed he was either a masochist and enjoyed the emotional turmoil, or he was just stupid as fuck. Maybe both. The orange glow from the streetlights above them passed over him. It was sort of calming. He could do this. So long as Asahi didn't feel the need to-
"Are you feeling ok Noya?"
God fucking damnit.
"Fine."
Noya knew his voice sounded strained. He winced and internally berated himself. Hopefully the clipped answer made the other man back off.
"How have you been?" There was soft concern in Asahi's voice.
Noya hated it. It fanned the flames of his anger just a bit. He would know if he wasn't a dick and at least answered his texts.
"As good as I can be, considering." Noya hoped there was enough weight and venom in there to sting a little. He snuck a peek to the right to see if there was any reaction.
Asahi didn't visibly flinch like he used to when he was younger, but Noya had noticed his lips twitch downwards and his eyes knit for a moment. He hated that it made him feel good. He'd been perfectly able to hold a grudge, but Noya didn't think himself someone who wanted to hurt others on purpose. Especially not Asahi. Though he didn't expect Asahi would be the type to hurt anyone either.
"Suga seems worried." Asahi pressed, voice light. He was trying to broach the elephant in the room. Noya was not having it.
"Ok nope not doing this. Stop the fucking car."
"What?"
"I swear to god stop the car we are not talking about this. I will tuck and roll out of this motherfucker if I have to."
Asahi let out a soft panicked noise and pulled to the side of the road behind another car. This part of town was less busy. Noya reached for the handle, but a hand grabbed him by the arm. He yanked it back and glared at Asahi.
"Don't fucking touch me."
"Noya listen I-"
Noya looked at him with disgust. "I don't care what you have to say. I gave you plenty of chances to talk for two months asshole."
They didn't say anything. Noya just stared angrily out the front window. He tried to keep some of his anger inside. He was succeeding mostly.
"I'm sorry."
Well so much for that.
"Are you fucking kidding me?! You're sorry? I can't fucking believe you!" Noya yelled, trying to physically burn holes through the other man with his glare.
Asahi shrunk back but didn't say anything.
"You fuck me, then leave without saying anything for two months and you expect sorry to be enough?! If it didn't mean anything that's fine!" That was a lie. Noya would probably literally die inside if that was true. "But at least have some dignity and fucking tell me so! I didn't fuck you just because the sex was good you fucking prick!"
Noya fumed. No, this wasn't enough. He wanted to hear it now. He wanted to know just how shitty of a person Asahi was. He wanted to hear Asahi say he wasn't anything more than a good fuck, so that perfect image Noya had of him could be burnt into ashes. Noya wanted to hate Asahi. Noya needed to hate Asahi.
"You know what? Fucking tell me. What's your excuse for this huh?"
It felt like his rage was vibrating the very air trapped in the car with them. Everything hummed.
"I don't have one." Asahi said with a sigh.
Noya held his breath. He wasn't sure if it was because he was going to cry or scream.
Asahi ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I was actually really scared when Suga called me. I... I wasn't ready I think? To see you."
The shorter man scoffed and shot a glare towards him. Asahi didn't look back at him, but stared deflated out the window.
"It sounds so weird but I think I was never ready, even back in high school. You are an...experience, to say the least, Nishinoya. God I'm really dumb." Asahi leaned forward and rested his forehead on the steering wheel.
Noya watched him in confusion. The humming had died down, and he was still pissed, but now he just wasn't even understanding where the conversation had gone.
"God my heart is beating so fast right now. It feels like I'm two seconds from an anxiety attack." He laughed halfheartedly.
"I didn't know I intimidated you so much. Don't go having a coronary over me."
"Noya I'm gay." Asahi mumbled.
For fucks sake.
"Asahi I knew that. Remember when you kissed me? When you shoved your hands down my pants? Fucked me into my mat-"
"OK YEAH I REMEMBER! JUST-" Another sigh. "What I mean is, everything that's happened, everything I've done that's hurt you, was because I wasn't ready. I've known since middle school honestly. But I haven't even said it aloud until recently. It doesn't excuse anything. Even if I told you I hated myself for the past two or three months, it doesn't mean anything because it won't take it back."
Well this wasn't what Noya had expected. He had been expecting yelling and fire and tears. He never imagined Asahi coming out to him in his car parked next to a fucking convenience store. Or that all the anger he'd been feeling would start to fade. God he was in deep.
Asahi leaned back into his seat and looked over at Noya. "And I don't expect anything, but for what it's worth, I really do...like you. Like a lot. Probably since high school. And I'm sorry that I hurt you just because I was too scared to admit something I already knew."
"You're right." Noya started. "It doesn't change anything."
Asahi looked at him with a mixture of regret and heartbreak.
"Take me home." Was all Noya said.
The car was turned on again and slid from it's parking space. The night swallowed any other words and the rest of the ride was spent in the dark quiet. When they had arrived in front of Noya's apartment building he didn't move at first. He could feel the awkward tension coming from the other man. Might as well put him out of his misery.
"Turn the car off." Noya ordered and opened his door.
Asahi gave him a questioning look.
"Are you gonna come in or not? You drove me home after all so."
He didn't look back to see Asahi turn the engine off and scramble out of the door and locking the car as he jogged to catch up. The fluorescent lighting washed the color out of everything, making the both of them look sickly in the sterile light. There was no conversation as they ascended the stairs. Subconsciously Noya ran his fingers along the wall leading up to his door while digging around his pockets for his key. The door was unlocked and creaked open, leading into darkness. Noya didn't bother to turn the light on and headed straight into the living room going on nothing but memory. Asahi had been over enough times to follow suit.
Asahi pulled off his jacket out of habit and heard more than saw Noya open the curtains on the other side of the room. Soft moonlight and the green glow of streetlamps filtered through the room. The curtains had covered a sliding door that lead out to a balcony. Memories came to Asahi in little chunks that didn't linger long, but he did recall a few moments he, Noya, and Suga had sat on the balcony drinking. And when Noya had first moved in. That was was before any of this had ever happened. Noya was so excited to finally be out on his own. He had thrown the sliding door open almost immediately and dragged Asahi with him. The view wasn't amazing but Noya looked out at everything like he had only ever dreamed of seeing it. The wonder in his eyes had almost made Asahi jealous. At the time he pushed the thought down, but now he realized he really wanted Noya to look at him like that.
Though, he may have shot that one in the face at this point.
"You know, I really wanted to hate you for this." Noya's voice came so suddenly it made Asahi jump.
"I-I don't blame you Nishinoya."
Noya looked back, the soft light making him glow. "I can't though. I know you Asahi. You're not a bad guy. That's why I fell for you I guess."
Asahi swore he'd stopped breathing. Noya had turned and started walking towards the taller man. They had locked eyes and Noya stopped just inches away. He reached up and grabbed a fistful of Asahi's shirt, pulling him down.
"You said sorry and I accept that."
Noya leaned in and their lips connected. He knew Asahi probably wouldn't run but he felt compelled to wrap his arm around the taller man's neck. The kiss was short and hadn't had much substance to it when Noya pulled away.
The look on Asahi's face was utter confusion. "Why? After everything I did why would you..." The question died off at the end.
The answer felt a lot more complicated than Noya was willing to put into words.
"You were scared. It doesn't mean that's a good excuse, but you didn't do it because you wanted to hurt me. I can understand trying to work through years of weirdness. So I forgive you. Just... don't let me down here."
There was second where Asahi didn't know what to do, before an overwhelming urge to kiss Noya raced through him. He leaned in quickly, bringing a hand up to cradle the other's face. Noya let go of the shirt in favor of carding his fingers through whatever loose hair he could find.
This kiss was worlds different from the first. Everything the past two months, the past couple years even, had lead up to this and Noya felt like he was being electrocuted. But like in the good way. Asahi's hand drifted down leaving trails of sparks wherever his fingers met skin. His hands met at the small of Noya's back and pulled him closer. Their height had always been an issue the few times they had ended up like this in the past so it was no surprise when the kiss was broken.
Noya gently guided Asahi towards the couch, climbing into his lap when he sat down. Nothing happened at first. They just looked at each other. The smaller man leaned in slowly and trailed soft kisses along Asahi's jaw and lingered against his mouth. When he pulled away he had no intentions of going much farther than that. Not tonight at least. He wanted something different this time.
"Is it ok if we don't do anything tonight?" Noya asked, resting his head in the crook of Asahi's neck.
Asahi wrapped his arms around him. "Whatever you want. I'm ok like this."
"Good. We can fuck like rabbits later I just really wanna cuddle right now."
Noya could feel the rumble start in the taller man's chest. He couldn't help but laugh himself. A soft, warm feeling settled over them. This was the only thing he'd wanted for a long time.
"You know, I knew you two had gotten together before you told me." Suga commented, taking a drink of his beer. He grimaced slightly.
"Don't make that face it's shitty beer night don't act like you didn't expect this. How though?" Noya asked.
"You never called me. If you guys ended up tearing each other apart I would've heard from you first thing in the morning. 'Suga he's such a dick god I hate him!'." Suga threw his hands up in the air in mock anger.
Noya laughed and looked out from his balcony. He could hear Daichi giving Asahi a hard time somewhere inside. God he loved life right now.
"Then again I kinda knew you guys would end up together eventually. I have a way with these things."
"Oh really now? Then how come everyone but you knew about Daichi being madly in love with you?" Noya grinned.
Suga snickered. "You can't use your gift for personal gain Yuu! Everyone knows that. Here, I'll make a prediction right here right now."
Noya raised an eyebrow but was listening.
"The first years are going to graduate soon. I'm putting my money on Kageyama and Hinata." Suga looked absolutely resolute in his statement.
Kageyama and Hinata huh? Noya supposed he saw it. Though Suga probably knew more than he was letting on. "I would bet on Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. But time will tell I guess."
"Well you'd lose your money pretty quickly." Daichi said, joining them on the balcony. "Those two were practically together before they joined the team. I doubt they've kept their hands to themselves by now."
Well that was a surprise.
"No shit. Well congrats to them then." Noya raised his beer a little in cheers. "Hey Asahi is the food ready?"
"Umm...Yeah just a sec-" Asahi was cut off and a soft "Well shit." floated through the door as an afterthought.
Noya laughed and excused himself. Predictions and bets aside, Noya was just glad that this was his everyday reality. He honestly couldn't have asked for better.
Author's Note: "I'll finish AIFATF first." I said. "I'll write things here and there but won't be too invested until AIFATF ends." I said.
I lied. All of it lies. But yeah wow I didn't expect to get too into this fic, even when I first started writing? The idea for the story came to me when I was listening to the radio on the way home from work and Taylor Swift's "Style" came on. And then I sort of tied that and The Paper Kites' song "Electric Indigo" to this fic and here we are! I may or may not have unintentionally tied it to another fic I had been planning a while ago. But we'll see! This was my first Haikyuu! fic so I hope I did fairly well! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!