I don't cope well with fear. I'm not a person who is easily scared by anything. I've killed men without a second thought, I've run into danger, facing bullets, more times than I can count. I would die for what's right without a second thought. I've never known terror, I've never been so scared that I've sweat and felt like my world could end.
Well...That used to be true. Until I met Temperance Brennen.
She struck me, the moment I saw her, as someone strong. A woman who didn't know fear, a soul rather like mine. Her sharp features captivated me, her eyes blazed with courage and ferocity. She amazed me from the moment I set eyes on her.
She is the single reason that I know cold, gripping, paralyzing horror.
I worked cases with her, and she disagreed with me on many accounts. She seemed so unwilling to like me except in a loose partnership. I was the same way. For all of two cases.
After those two, I realized that I was head over heels for her.
When I'd met her, she'd been a bouncy, excitable woman. Working soon sobered her into a down, serious woman. That change in her was a bit startling, but it made her so much more interesting. More likable, in a way.
I had been telling myself for a long time that I wasn't in love with her. I'd nicknamed her Bones out of fun, which was as close to her as I was about to get.
I didn't realize that I loved her until I got she was kidnapped.
Someone had tried to kill her and had nearly succeeded. I will never forget her screaming through a gag and crying for me and hoping that she wasn't going to be eaten alive by dogs. I decided in that moment: I was never going to let anyone hurt my Bones. I was sure, seeing as she had been browsing online for boyfriends, that she didn't feel quite the same way for me as I did for her, but I still loved her and wasn't about to stop. But I let it die down.
I had been flooded with fear. Not an adrenaline filled fear, not the fear mixed with excitement I'd felt when I faced a man with a gun leveled at me before. Fear for the life of my partner. I'd told myself it was because she was my partner, that she was a friend. But my heart was screaming something very different.
I watched her like a hawk from then on, and we became closer. Just as friends, no closer than that. My heart so wished it was otherwise, but I forced that feeling down. I couldn't let it go any farther than friendship; I couldn't be distracted.
A phone call from New Orleans plunged me once again into fear for her.
"Agent Booth, your partner, Temperance Brennen, is currently in the hospital. She's been assaulted and has no memory at all of what happened to her."
I spent the next few days making sure that I found the man who hurt Bones. The sorry who hurt who I loved...No, who hurt my partner. My partner, my partner, my PARTNER.
I came to believe that some higher force enjoys watching my fear when the Grave Digger took Hodgins and my Bones...I mean, my PARTNER.
Digging her out of the sand that day, I was scared out of my wits, hoping that when I pulled her out that she would be gasping for air. If she wasn't, it meant she was dead.
Thankfully, she'd lived. I don't want to take credit, but she and Hodgins both would have died that day had I not been so desperate to find her...
I tried so hard not to let her distract me...Not to be dragged off course by her beautiful hair, her perfectly curved body, her amazing features, and her general perfection...I tried, I really did.
But I was already distracted. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't notice just how beautiful she was. With every laugh I heard from her and even every small spout of bickering we went into made my heart wish that I could love her. I have no idea how she looked at our small spats, but to me it was almost like flirting. Not that I could help it. It just happened.
I dated Cam for a while, which didn't last too long. I was still in love with Brennen, and we were becoming very strong partners. I was always there for her, and she was there for me. She cared about me, I knew that much. If she was going to have feelings for me, though, I was going to let her come to me in her own time. I would never force her to do anything.
I was shocked, last winter, which was a year and a half ago. Caroline wanted her to kiss me under the mistletoe. I found that odd and thought that it would rush her into something she didn't want to do yet. She shocked me when she pulled me close and kissed me that day. I felt such a need in it, a desire that matched my own. We seemed to become ever-closer friends after that, but nothing more. I realized that she was also worried of a relationship getting in the way of work at the Jeffersonian. It hurt me a bit, but it was nothing that I couldn't deal with.
After Zach was arrested...things got very hard for Brennen. She had been shaken up ever since she'd been told I was dead...And I will never quite forget the conversation we had over coffee that night.
"Booth?" She'd looked up from her mug.
"Hmm?"
"Thank you. For showing me the letter I gave Zach. It helped me a lot. I had seriously thought I'd never given him anything..."
"You're welcome, Bones." I'd told her, smiling. "It's the least I can do."
"And thank you for protecting me. From Pam, I mean. For taking a bullet to save me."
"Bones, it was instinct, don't thank me for that." I'd said. "I did it because you're my partner."
"Was that the only reason?"
"What?"
"Was that the only reason you took the bullet for me?"
"Yes."
"Booth, I can tell when you're lying to me." She'd given me that 'don't kid with me' look.
"How do you know I'm lying?"
"You avert your eyes and your voice takes on a different tone."
"Oh..."
"Why did you really risk your life for me?"
"I will only answer your question if you answer mine first."
"Why?"
"I want to know how you'll react to my answer."
"So my answer to your question will enable you to gauge how I will respond to your response?"
"Exactly."
"Okay..." She had become confused then, and it's very difficult to confuse Temperance, "What's your question?"
"How did you react when they told you I was dead?" I'd looked her in the eyes. "Brennen, all I saw was you cold as a lump of ice at my funeral. How did you react?"
"I..I stood there, stone silent as the doctor walked back to the O.R." Her voice had dropped, and her tone had become chocked. "The others were breaking down around me, I could hear them. Then, I ran at the doctor, screaming that they were lying, that you weren't dead. I began listing how the bullet would have traveled in your chest. I described to them how they would have done the procedure, I was screaming and crying. Angela, Cam, and Zach were trying to calm me down. Sweets, Hodgins, and two nurses were keeping me away from the O.R. They had to set me out in the parking lot. I curled up and broke down...I was told that Zach had to pick me up and put me in his car, and carry me into my apartment. I skipped work the next day. Then, I toughened. I had to do my job. During the days I would go to work, do my best, and as soon as my hours were over, Angela drove me home. Then I became someone else. I wasn't collected. I broke down. I could sometimes hold it in until I changed into my pajamas, but usually I just went in the door, collapsed on my bed, and cried. Then, after I'd cried myself empty, I would lay in the dark, praying that sleep would take me soon, because the dark is too easy to remember things in...Sleep was my only sanctuary from the pain..."
"Bones, my God, you were that bad?" I had mentally resolved to kill Sweets in that moment. "Now do you want my answer?"
"Yes." She'd looked up, brushing the corners of her eyes.
"Brennen. I took that bullet for you because I am in love with you. I have been for so long now. I never told you because I didn't think you felt the same."
"Booth," She'd taken my hand, "I love you, too. I just...I knew how you felt, but I though it would interrupt work...That's what my head told me, anyway...In my heart I knew it would work, because Angela and Hodgins manage. I was just scared to let myself love you in return."
"There's no reason to be scared now." I'd told her.
"No..."
Then, in front of everyone in the coffee shop, I'd finally, truly kissed Bones. It was the best first kiss I'd ever experienced, I felt so many things that I'd never felt before. My heart had been ready to burst out of my chest. I had heard the phrase "true love's first kiss", but I had discovered then that there was such a thing.
The next day, we'd walked into the Jeffersonian hand in hand. Angela and Cam had flipped, more excited than I'd ever seen them. Sweets just smirked, satisfied that we had finally gotten together, as he knew was going to happen. Hodgins was rather the same way. When we had visited Zach in the asylum that week, he seemed shocked, as though he hadn't seen it coming. Maybe he hadn't, I don't know...
I've had a great life dating her since then. I've felt more whole than I ever have. She's been there for me every second, and I've been there for her. Temperance Brennen is the light in my life, she brings me joy in a job where I have to see heartbreak after I've told someone that we've found the remains of their spouse or child. She keeps me from heartbreak myself.
And today, after knowing her for so long, after loving her like never before, I hope to end my life with Temperance Brennen.
I plan to ask her today if she would do me the honor of becoming Temperance Booth.
AN:
Okay, raise your hand if I scared you! I loved that ending. My friend freaked out at the 2nd to last line! Mu-ah-ha-ha!
This is one of my faves! Because I love Bones/Booth fluff.
And fluff in general.
Hope you enjoyed!
~Inkweaver