Annoying, Blue, and MINE
By Agent Malkere
Disclaimer: All I own is an outdated laptop and some really crazy story ideas – not Kim Possible.
Dr. Drakken was incredibly please with himself. Not only was his latest creation working perfectly so far, but he had actually invented this one – without stealing somebody else's blueprints first! Yes, Dr. D was feeling very happy indeed – and to top it all off, Shego was actually there witnessing his success for once! Well, she wasn't really 'witnessing' it, she was leaning against a wall reading yet another magazine and looking immensely bored, but she was at least there so that had to count for something. He felt like doing an evil laugh, but the last time he had tried that about an hour ago Shego had nearly fried him and his new invention with a plasma ball so maybe he'd better wait.
There was always something deeply satisfying about inventing something himself that worked instead of outsourcing. And Drakken was particularly pleased with this invention so far. It looked rather similar in size and shape to a car engine but with a far more elaborate cooling system that encased a clear, oblong container on the machine's right side that pulsed with a strangely enthralling yellow-orange light. If his calculations were right (which, surprisingly enough, they generally were – he had gotten a nearly full college scholarship for a reason), then his creation should be able to produce plasma blasts similar to Shego's but on a far larger scale. And in a different color, of course. His sidekick already had a monopoly on the color green.
Drakken flicked off his blow torch and pushed his goggles up his forehead. He grabbed a fifteen thirty-seconds inch wrench out of the assorted spread of tools on the table next to his plasma generator. Now all he had to do were some fine adjustments to the energy flow on the converter lines and-
The plasma generator made a noise that sounded uncomfortably close to blub gurgle glup squeak. Dr. D frowned. That wasn't supposed to happen. At most, his invention should be producing a low, continuous hum, maybe something a little more dramatic when fired but nothing resembling blub gurgle glup squeak. Unless…. Oh, no. He hadn't accidentally nicked something while he was assembling the cooling system, had he? If the cooling system wasn't functioning properly, then the plasma wouldn't remain at a low enough temperature and the generator could spontaneously fire at any sec-
BANG!
A cantaloupe sized ball of yellow-orange plasma hit Drakken square in the chest and sent him flying across the lab.
Shego flipped to the next page of her magazine without even looking up. Explosions of varying size and intensity were par for the course when it came to an average in Dr. D's lab.
"Another invention fighting back, Dr. D, or was that one actually supposed to do that?" she drawled from behind the glossy cover of her latest issue of Villainess Weekly. No response. Not even a 'hmpf' or a grumbled curse. Just the soft background thrum of the machinery running the lair. Her boss never let her sarcastic comments go unremarked upon. "Dr. D?" Shego peeked over the top of her magazine. "Shit." She didn't even notice as the magazine slipped from between her fingers and hit the floor.
Dr. D was slumped in an unconscious heap against the far wall of the lab. His skin was a sickly shade of pale blue and the front of navy lab coat was badly scorched. In some places, the machine's plasma had burned right through the fabric to the skin. Shego checked her employer's vitals with experienced efficiency (lab accidents were another par for the course when you worked for Drakken). Nothing too serious – probably a mild concussion (the Doc had a pretty hard head) and some first or second degree burns plus a bit of bruising from being thrown into the wall so hard.
Shego sat back of her heels and stared at the plasma burns on the front of Dr. D's lab coat. For some reason, they irked her and she didn't know why, which also irked her. She stood and turned to glare at Drakken's latest invention. Maybe it was just her imagination, but Shego thought the thing was grinning at her. Smugly. The damn machine was smirking at her! Of all the nerve!
Shego growled. Her hands flamed green.
"The only one around here who gets to blast Dr. D with plasma is ME!" she snarled and vaporized the smug piece of weaponry in one ball of intense, green plasma, creating a mini mushroom cloud. Maybe it was a rather petty thing to do, but it made her feel better. Sure, Dr. D was an annoying, blue megalomaniac, but he was her annoying, blue megalomaniac! Condescending pieces of machinery had absolutely no claim on him – only she got to beat him up!
…And Shego did so just not think possessively about the Doc. No way. That would just be wrong. Because he was her employer. And he was so old. Well, not that old, but still. Dr. D was ridiculous. And obsessive. And weird. And some times kinda cute and- Bad! Bad train of thought! She did not just think that! The Doc was not cute! Not, not, not! Under any circumstances! Oy vey! She needed a vacation – Dr. D's craziness must be starting to rub off on her.
A quiet groan came from behind her.
"Shego?" Drakken squinted up at her and blinked a couple of times, trying to clear his blurred vision. And it was not in the least bit cute. And even if it had been, Shego was a villainess. She liked her men hot NOT cute. Oh, yes, and denial was only a river in Egypt. Drakken leaned slightly sideways and peered at the blackened crater where his latest invention used to be. "What happened to my plasma generator?"
"It got lippy!" Shego snapped and then turned and stomped out of the lab, Drakken staring in muzzy confusion after her, wondering where all the sarcastic comments had gone.