R.T.B – Hi guys! I decided to start yet another Ouran fanfiction! Yep…I liked the challenge. Anyway. a bit of warning before you begin to read.
This will have some strong shohen ai and soft yaoi content. That means lovely boy boy love! Also…the main pairing is NOT twincest (however I will probably write a new twincest fanfic very soon….I can't help myself! lol). Anyway the pairings go as such….(in order of importance)
Kaoru x OC dodges flying pots and pans,
Hikaru x Haruhi dodges knives and axes,
Hikaru x Kaoru Bows after long applause which would have been louder if it ere the main pairing of this fanfic,
and lastly Haruhi x OC (implied) looks out at audience who really don't care about that pairing at all….ok….now on with the fic-let.
Remember – This is a CRACK fic! It's made entirely for enjoyment, fun, randomness….and…more fun!
Disclaimer- I, RavenToriBlack, do not own Ouran high school host club or any of it's characters. I do however own this idea…cause I thought of it all by my lonesome…..if you have happened to thought of the same thing then that is a coincidence and all I can say to that is 'great minds think alike'!
BI the way.
Chapter one.
It as just a boring, ordinary day at the host club. Hunny was eating cake, Mori was 'baby sitting' bunny-usa, The twins were planing their next awesome prank quietly between themselves, Kyouya was stressing over the clubs budget being blown….again…. and Tamaki was trying to persuade Haruhi to wear a beautiful pink, not to mention revealing, dress.
"Daddy want's to see his daughter dressed up!"
And as usual Haruhi said…
"Yes…"
WAIT A MINUTE! Hold on. Rewind! What was that??? That was not the usual answer she gave Tamaki….especially not for this kind of request. The club stopped, and all focus was on the young cross-dressing girl.
Haruhi continued. "Yes….can I help you? Are you lost?"
The host clubs eyes scanned the whole third music room. With one question running through their curious little minds….who the hell was Haruhi talking too? Finally their eyes came across a girl hiding behind the door to the Host club. A brown patch of hair, a hand and a piece of yellow dress were the only things visible of this strange new comer.
"Ha….Ha….HARU-CHAN!!!" The girl screamed with delight as she sprung from her hiding spot. The girl jumped into Haruhi's arms.
"Kei?" Haruhi's eyes widened with what could only be described as pure horror. "What, When, How….WHY???" Haruhi screamed at the new girl.
"Do you know her Haruhi?" The twins chorused.
"I'm afraid so…everyone…I'd like you to meet…."
"HI, I'm Haruhi's twin sister … Kei!" The girl, now known as Kei, smiled slightly.
Haruhi's pupils dilated slightly as she glared at her sister.
"Twin sister?" The Hitachiin twins smirked evilly as plans and schemes began to run through their minds like wildfire to petrol. That's what we like to call arson, boys and girls! .
It was actually quite obvious. Haruhi and Kei were identical. Short brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, short and cute. Basically one was a mirror of the other and vice versa. The only difference between them, apart from Kei wearing a dress, was their voices. Kei's voice was an octave lower than Haruhi's. Does this sound familiar???
"My lovely fair maiden, please forgive my rudeness for not introducing myself earlier. May a thousand arrows strike me down, a thousand times, for my arrogance. I am Tamaki…King of the host club…also known as the prince type." Tamaki greeted Kei with a kind tone and red rose.
"Ooooo his cute." Kei told his sister causing Tamaki's face to light up!
"I am very pleased to meet you miss Kei Fujikoa. I am Kyouya Ohtori, but please just call me…"
"KyoKyo!" Kei cut in with a stupid grin plastered on her cute little face.
"No. You may call me Kyouya-senpai." The shadow king finished darkly.
"Whatever KyoKyo." Kyouya was about to argue but Kei flashed him a playful grin and a small wink. Kyouya felt himself soften a little…this girl reminded him of Tamaki….a lot. It was certainly possible since Kei's father was the infamous Ranka Fujikoa.
Hunny took a run up as he lept into Kei's arms. "Kei-chan, Kei-chan…you can call me Hunny-senpai, K? Want to hold my bunny-usa?"
"K!" She smiled lightly as she cuddled the small bunny-usa.
"WEEEEEEEEE." Hunny squealed with delight as he spun Kei around in quick small circles.
"And this is Takeshi, but you can call him Mori-senpai, right Takeshi?"
"Hnn."
Kei nodded as Hunny grabbed her arm and raced her over to the Hitachiin twins.
"Hello we're…" "…the Hitachiin twins." "I'm Hikaru and…" "…I'm Kaoru…" "Pleased to meet you!" They finished together. Holding out their hands.
She went to shake their hands but the twins pulled away sharply.
"Ha! Thought you had a friend!" The two sniggered.
Hikaru kept laughing, but Kaoru stopped abruptly.
"Hikaru…do you think that she would be a better friend than I am." Kaoru said in that lonely uke kind of way.
Hikaru smiled as he began his role.
"Kaoru…you and I are more than just friends…we're soul mates."
"Hikaru…"
"Kaoru…"
Kei's cheeks flustered. "See…I told you it was normal! Why won't we ever do that stuff?"
"Because I don't want to. It has no point."
Kei looked back over to the two twins…a heat rising within her that made her stomach lurch.
"Haruhi…where's the toilet? I think Hunny-senpai spun me one to many times."
"Er…down the hall to your left."
Kei walked out the host club doors only to find a very long corridor with about fifty different 'lefts' that it could be. She sighed.
"A little more information wouldn't have killed you Haruhi." Kei muttered. She was surprised to hear a small laugh that came from behind her. She turned around only to come face to face with one of the twins…although she wasn't sure which one it was yet.
"Er, hey…um…which one are you again?"
"Kaoru."
"That's right…your hairs parted to my right…right?" "Yep. Do you need some help. Haruhi sucks at giving directions." He laughed.
Kei blushed and nodded slightly. Kaoru smiled and grabbed her hand. Butterflies entered Kei's tummy the moment their hands met.
"Er…actually…I'm feeling a bit better. Maybe you could show me around the place. Please." Kei looked up at Kaoru slightly.
"Um…sure why not…I'll just go and get Hikaru and Haruhi and…"
Kei put her finger up against Kaoru's lips as she backed him into a wall…cornering him. "No…just us. You…and me."
Kaoru blinked and then nodded half scared to death. Despite her looks she was quite strong and was able to over power him. Although it didn't really surprise him…he was one of the more 'weaker' boys in the class. He hated it. His brother, exact same build, was actually one of the more 'stronger' boys of the class. It hadn't worried him to much…but something about being overpowered by a small, fragile girl kind of…burst his bubble of what ever dignity he had left.
'No wonder Haruhi told Hikaru and I that we were separate people with different personalities…Haruhi has a twin…WHO IS NOTHING LIKE HER!!!' Kaoru thought as realization sunk in.
1 hour later, with the host club.
"Hey, where'd Kaoru go?" Haruhi asked quite concerned.
"He went to help Kei find her way to the bathroom…did you know that you are really crappy at giving directions?" Hikaru answered her apathetically.
Haruhi's face paled. "We have to find them straight away!" She almost screamed.
All eye's fell on the cross-dresser girl for the second time that day.
"Look…my…sister…she is a fan…girl! An….what do you call them….oh yeah that's it…an Otaku!"
"How big an Otaku are we talking about here?" Hikaru asked in worry. Fearing for the safety of his younger brother.
"Well…think of Renge…only 48.9 times worse! I mean come on…she's my fathers…daughter…after all!" Haruhi explained just how terrible the situation really was.
"OH GOD!!! MY MORE KAORU!!!WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!!!" Hikaru screamed desperately.
"Ok…We'll split up…we'll meet back here in exactly 28 minutes 36 seconds and 87 micro seconds." Tamaki ordered and the group began on their own individual adventure in rescuing Kaoru.
15 minutes after the Host club had begun their search, in the third music room.
Kaoru opened the door, looking around the empty room in disappointment.
"Hey, their not here! That's not cool!" Kei said quite angrily. "They left with out us, Kaoru!"
"I'm sure they just went to get some lunch from the cafeteria." Kaoru reassured her as sat down on the red velvet couch.
"I guess. Hey Kaoru do you want some tea?"
"Huh, yeah sure I'd love some."
Kei sat down next Kaoru on the couch putting her feet up on the expensive coffee table.
"Cool! I'll have some too. Well hurry up, go make it…you're the one you wants it."
"What! That's so cheap! Why don't you go and make it?!" Kaoru said quite annoyed.
"I don't know how. Pft. I suck at cooking…and cleaning…but I can sew!"
"Sigh, fine whatever…" Kaoru gave up in defeat. He was used to things like this with his brother. And it was in that moment that something hit him.
"Hey Kei." "Yeah?" "You do know that you're not very lady like…right?"
"Huh, what the hell do you mean by that?" Kei said almost fearfully.
"Well….I don't know…you swear, you sit with your legs wide open and you're pretty strong."
"So what! You're kinda' feminine! But I don't say anything!"
"Yeah, I know…I'm sorry if I offended you."
Kei looked up at Kaoru.
"GRRR, That's it. I can't take it any more! I love you Kaoru!" Kei squealed as she threw her arms around him.
"HUH??? Er…that's very nice and all…but we just met…you can't be in love with me…unless….unless….you're one of those crazy fangirls…" Kaoru looked down at the Haruhi look a like. She looked up at him with hearts in her eyes.
"OMG you are! Get off me you crazy girl! OFF, OFF."
"Never! I will not leave you my beloved!"
"HIKARU!!! HELP ME!!!" Kaoru wailed.
Within seconds Hikaru was in the room, with the rest of the host club. Hikaru ran up and gently pulled the girl off his twin. Kaoru basically jumped into Hikaru's arms.
"Kei." Haruhi said angrily.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare him…BUT I LOVE HIM HARUHI! It's not fair…you never ever let me have romance in my life…EVER!" Kei cried. Hunny patted her shoulder in comfort.
"We'll discuss this later…at home. Does dad know you're here?"
"Er…no." Haruhi sighed at her sisters response.
"Alright…time to go! I'll see you guys tomorrow." Haruhi waved as she grabbed her sister by the ear, with her free hand, and left the room.
At the Hitachiin mansion.
Hikaru smiled at his brother as he hoped into bed.
"You were really scared…weren't you?" He asked almost laughing.
"Quit it ,Hikaru. I…I….just leave me alone."
"Maybe this is a good thing…I mean it's about time you found a girl! And who better than Haruhi's sister." Hikaru smirked as Kaoru turned to face him.
"What do you mean 'who better than Haruhi's sister?'." Kaoru questioned. He looked at his older brother and noticed that his cheeks were tainted red.
"I…I don't know…maybe if you are 'close' with her sister then you could find out if Haruhi …maybe…kinda'…likes me."
Kaoru raised his eyebrow. "You want me to become friends with your crushes sister….just to find out if you might have a chance at getting laid."
"Well anything sounds bad when you say it like that! I would have said something along the lines…"
"It doesn't matter. Look I'll hang out with her…ok?"
"YES! THANKYOU! I LOVE YOU KAORU!" Hikaru shouted as he hugged his brother. Kaoru shuddered at the resemblance between Kei and the way his brother was acting at the moment!
"But I'm not doing it to help you. I'm doing it because I like this girl….AS A FRIEND!" Kaoru explained.
"Yeah, yeah…whatever!" Hikaru laughed.
Soon the two boy's had settled down. Hikaru was sleeping soundly and breathing softly. Kaoru, however, was awake. He tossed and turned. But he couldn't fall asleep.
'Maybe I should tell him…No he would never understand! But his my brother…but…I…why was I born like this! Is being controversial so bad. Is being Bi-sexual so wrong…I'll have to tell him…later. I'll tell him tomorrow.' Kaoru thought as he began to calm, letting sleep take over his weary mind.
At the Fujikoa residence.
"What the hell, Kei! You just show up out of the blue and expect us to take you back! Giving us some poor excuse like…I got expelled because I burnt down the school gym." Haruhi yelled as she tried to hold back her tears.
"Daddy! Haruhi's being mean! Look…I got a full scholarship into Ouran so you don't have to pay a cent for my education! What's the big deal?" Kei yelled back also on the brink of tears.
"My, my…we do have a slight problem…alright Kei can live with us again…ok!?" Ranka said almost amused at the sight of the two siblings fighting. He had forgotten what it was like…and had, in a way, missed it.
"Thankyou daddy!" Kei smiled as she hugged her father and looked up at Haruhi with puppy dog eyes.
Haruhi sighed and soon smiled.
"Fine you can stay! But you have tell my friends and the rest of the school the truth! It's not good to lie to people! Anyway…everyone will find out sooner or later." Haruhi said wisely.
"Why! You're lying! You're pretending to be a boy!!! Maybe you should listen to your own advice." Kei said annoyed and ran to Haruhi's room. Since they lived in a small apartment they didn't have any extra rooms, so Kei was forced to stay with Haruhi, in her room.
Haruhi frowned. She didn't mean to upset Kei, she was just trying to give Kei a bit of helpful advice. She said goodnight to her dad and went to bed.
Neither Kei nor Haruhi talked for the rest of the night.
TBC.
R.T.B – I hope you liked it! It's crazy, I know! Now…There are going to be some surprises through out the story…especially at the end! You can have a go at guessing them because I have a feeling no one will be able to guess right. Remember…if you don't like gay pairings I advice you to not continue reading the later chapters. Thanks for reading and please review!