* Updates: New Chapter 11 is up... and you can also find me on DeviantArt, user name: midnight-blackened

...where you'll find some Joker/Shoker fanart.

** Update 09/28/13: This piece has been revised by the very talented, and knowledgeable: JacksAreWild. Many thanks for her efforts! And please, check her work immediately, if you haven't already ;-)

- Midnight Blackened

"What do you think about me and EDI?"

"You know, with all this interest in EDI, it's possible you've overlooked other options."

"I'd never really considered it, Commander. No offense."

"And now that you're considering it?"

"I've served with you from the day you took command. I'd follow you into hell."

"But not into my quarters."

"Chain of command, Shepard. In an alternate dimension, without military ranks, I would rock your world."

"And EDI doesn't wear a uniform."

"Well... yeah. What do you think?"

Initially, she'd thought she could just brush off the rejection, and continue the conversation with her pilot as if this was just another one of their banters she always enjoyed so much. But as she heard him press the issue about EDI, she suddenly realized her patience had just run out.

Joker was unconcernedly taking a sip of his drink, waiting for her answer, when she moved swiftly, stopping just inches of his face.

With an unreadable facial expression, her stern words rang clear;

"Alright! Listen to me, and listen carefully." The tone of her voice sent a startling chill down his spine. As his throat closed, he found it difficult to swallow the liquor he was still holding in his mouth.

"You want to screw a pile of nuts and bolts? That's your business, but don't expect me to stand here, watch you drool over a metal blow up doll, and pretend it doesn't gross the shit out of me."

Without adding a word, she walked away at a fast pace.

Joker was left shaken, staring at the now empty space she had filled only two seconds earlier. His mind was blank. By the time he re-engaged his brain and turned around, she was already near the club's exit doors, where he saw her bump into Vega coming in.

This was his chance. He thought; 'That's it muscle boy, hold her there.'

"Hold her there!" he called, out loud this time.

He pushed himself away from the bar, in a bid to gain as much momentum as he could to go after her. That's when he saw Vega try to speak to her, but she just raised a hand, cutting him off as she brushed past him on her way out of the club.

"Oh shhhi..." he said, halting his limping walk to the door.

Defeated, his head sunk.

'Fuck!' he screamed in silence with eyes closed.

He didn't realized he was just standing there for that long, when Vega placed both his hands on his shoulders in a camaraderie gesture.

"Joker! What's up! Wasted already? Need help to get to the ship?"

Joker was grateful that the context provided him with a cover for his strange demeanor, and even weirder chosen place to be found hanging around.

"What? No! I'm fine. I was just..." He wanted to add something else but the words wouldn't come. His mind was elsewhere.

Luckily for him, Vega wasn't listening. He was more interested in sharing something that he assumed Joker didn't know;

"Good call Amigo. I wouldn't want to be going back either, not with Lola in a bad mood!

God damned man! She just stormed off. What was that all about?" He shrugged, gave Joker a light pat on the back, and walked to the bar.

'Yeah, what was that all about?' Joker repeated the question in his head, looking in the direction he'd last seen her. The volatile chain of events had happened so quickly that he was having a hard time processing it all.

His piloting, fast reflexes kicked in and surely enough, his mind zeroed in on the crucial bit of their conversation; 'it's possible you've overlooked other options?' he remembered her asking.

He widened his eyes; 'Shit! Shit.' His pupils darted around the room, without really focusing on anything; 'She just made a pass at me? And I've said... whaat?'

He knew alright.

"Fucking asshole!" He turned around on his sturdier leg, with the half-hearted intention of returning to his drink, left abandoned at the bar.

That's when he spotted her. EDI; sitting innocently alone at her table. If only for a few moments, he'd completely forgotten about her.

With her shiny, curvy frame in his vision, he subconsciously waited for his now habitual pervy thoughts about her to come flooding his mind.

It was an automatic thing he indulged in every time he saw her. Only this time, the words: 'nuts and bolts' hit him like a sucker punch, instead.

That's when he saw it.

He saw her, but he mostly saw himself, and more precisely; he saw the way he thought of her.

Suddenly, he felt sick. He wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but he knew all too well that wasn't the reason his stomach churned.

"I gotta get out of here," he muttered and headed for the doors.