NOTE: THIS MANUAL WAS MADE BASED OFF OF LOLLIDICTATOR'S HETALIA UNIT MANUALS. I AM MERELY MAKING MY OWN VERSION OF ONE THAT HAS NOT YET BEEN WRITTEN. SEE LOLLIDICTATOR'S PROFILE FOR MORE MANUALS.
THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.
Berwald Oxenstierna: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You've just invested in a Berwald Oxenstierna unit! In order to ensure that you, the owner, get the best of your unit while keeping all your extremities, we've taken the liberties of writing this manual, and strongly suggest that you read it before attempting to handle your unit.
Technical Specifications:
Name: Berwald Oxenstierna. Will also reply to "Sweden", "Su-san", "Stoic-Freak", "Sweetie", "Honey", or "Husband".
Age: 21
Place of Manufacture: Stockholm. Sweden
Height: 5'11.6"
Weight: 142 lbs
Length: There is a reason Finland finally gave in to being his wife…
Your Berwald Oxenstierna unit comes with the following accessories:
Five (5) blue army uniforms
Two (2) Blue hats
Five (5) Blue overcoats
Seven (7) Black shirts
Three (3) pairs of black gloves
One (1) wood covered metal staff
Two (2) pairs of glasses
Three (3) pairs of black boots
Four (4) black ties
Seven (7) pairs of black pants
POSSIBLE JOBS:
Your BERWALD OXENSTIERNA unit is equipped with the following job traits:
Babysitter: This BERWALD OXENTIERNA can easily take care of any child! Granted, they will be a bit frightened by his face at first, but they will soon warm up to him and become the most well behaved kids you could ask for!
Bouncer: With the way everyone is naturally afraid of his stoic-face and cold attitude, no underage person would dare try to get passed him!
Sports Instructor/Player: Very athletic and strong, he can excel in most sports. His never-ending patience with children mixed with his strict was of dealing with spoiled famous players, he can whip any team into shape and take them far!
Chef: A natural husband and cook, he can make just about anything-and enjoy doing it! Just give him ingredients and an order, and that restaurant will soon become the most popular in town!
Construction Worker: building is this guy's thing. Give him tools and supplies, and he'll build you a freakin' Taj-Mahal if you ask! Or just make you some nice furniture for your place. Note: IKEA is this guy's best friend!
Removal of your BERWALD OXENSTIERNA from Packaging:
Your unit is, simply put, a very stoic person person. However, this does not mean that he is bad-tempered. It's pretty hard to jolt him into a locked mode, simply because it's hard to surprise or irritate him while you wake him up. He won't try and kill you when you wake him up, though you can slightly annoy him if you have a personality similar to Denmark's. But still, in order to ensure he wasn't accidently jostled too much during delivery (or if you already have a MIKKEL DENSEN (Denmark) unit), we've attached the following list of failsafe ways to get your unit and ready to reprogram.
1. Have a TINO VAINAMAINEN unit come in and call for "Su-san" to get up. However, this can also result in BERWALD snatching up the TINO unit and leaving for a few days or indefinitely, as BERWALD sees TINO as his 'wife'. So, while safe for you, this method of waking BERWALD up is not recommended fully if you want to keep this unit.
2. Offer to take him to IKEA. This will result in him calmly leaving his box and allowing you to reprogram him, before taking him to said IKEA. If you do not take him there after promising, he is likely to go into his locked 'Rage mode', which will result in several broken bones and a broken house. So, make sure you take him, and everything will be fine.
3. Play the Swedish national anthem. When you can hear his humming, you can open the box safely.
4. Have a MIKKEL DENSEN unit come and make him awaken. Be warned, this may result in the MIKKEL DENSEN unit being injured or killed, due to BERWALD OXENSTIERNA's hatred and bad past with MIKKEL DENSEN.
5. Tap the box lightly until you hear rustling coming from inside. When you hear this, and if nothing too bad happened during his shipment, you can safely open the box and let him out to be reprogrammed.
Reprogramming
After successfully awakening your BERWALD OXENSTIERNA, you'll have the option to reprogram him. His modes are as follows:
Stoic (default)
Sexy (default)
Family Man (default)
Serious (default)
Mischievous
Romantic
Deadly/Dangerous (locked)
Drunk (locked)
Black (locked)
BERWALD OXENSTIERNA's standard modes are Stoic, Sexy, Family Man, and Serious.
All are very simple concepts:
STOIC (default): in Stoic, your unit will constantly have the same blank expression on his face. This does not mean, however, that he is emotionless. If you hurt his feelings or insult someone he cares about, he will react violently in defense of their honor.
SEXY (default): Sexy makes him eternally attractive in whatever he does-totally without realizing it, of course. This is probably one of our most oblivious models when it comes to his own attractiveness.
FAMILY MAN (default): Family Man is exactly how it sounds-he is good with kids, enjoys doing housework, and will cook without being asked. On another note, if you or one of your friends becomes pregnant, he will become the expecting's best dream when it comes to arranging showers and getting you and your home and family ready for when the baby comes. And when the baby is born, he will take care of it lovingly and carefully, leaving you to do what you need to do and giving you plenty of time for job or school.
SERIOUS (default): serious mode is obvious; he is serious about everything-which is very helpful for if you have other units living with you. He will calmly and efficiently deal with any problems, and is also very helpful when it comes to getting the units back in line.
MISCHIEVOUS: In Mischievous, BERWALD OXENSTIERNA is very mischievous and playful, joking and pranking. He is very likely to plot and try to find a way for everyone to have a great time-likely at the expense of others. While this mode doesn't last long (usually wearing off after he falls asleep, waking up with no memory of it occurring) it will certainly make an impression-good or bad-upon you and your friends. This mode is triggered by jokes being played on him for too long, or too many long bouts of boredom.
ROMANTIC: Romantic is his final unlocked mode. In this mode, expect your unit to spend more time with you or his sweetie than usual, be more caring and concerned, and quite possibly very protective as well. He will plan romantic dinners and evenings for the one he cares about, and will quite possibly want to spend more time in the bedroom as well. This mode is triggered by: being in a relationship with someone he likes very much.
DEADLY/DANGEROUS: Deadly/Dangerous is one of this unit's three locked modes. This will be unlocked by hearing that TINO VAINAMAINEN has been hurt, raped, kidnapped, or killed, or that the same has been done to someone he cares about. In this mode, BERWALD OXENSTIERNA will become an emotionless killing machine with only one objective-to save whoever has been taken or to defend their honor by getting rid of the one who hurt their loved one. Whether the incident is old or recent, he will track them down and make them pay.
DRUNK: another locked mode, Drunk occurs when BERWALD OXENSTIERNA is given-and consumes-large amount of hard liquor. This will usually only be done when the unit is extremely depressed or angry. Be careful around him in this mode if you're the one who made him depressed or angry-while he still has enough sense to not attack an innocent person, he will not hesitate to harm the one who made him this way. In the rare times this mode has come out, the ones who angered or depressed him were usually hospitalized or raped. Hey, Nordics used to conquer their enemies by raping and pillaging-it's just how they work!
BLACK: Black is the color of his mood while in this mode. Expect him to be very scary and cruel, constantly beating others and even killing those who slightly annoy him. It is unsure of what causes this mode, but he has been known to use hardcore S&M devices while he rapes whoever he was in a relationship with. If you like that kind of stuff, I guess that works for you, but this is very dangerous for most people and hospital bills should be expected. There is no known way to snap him out of this since we don't know how it was caused, but you can call Customer Services and we will send in a SWAT team to save you. Any new unit you want will be given to you, free of charge if this occurs. If you don't call, you'll just have to wait it out and hope he stops on his own. We're sorry.
Relationships with Other Units
Practically everyone gets along well with BERWALD OXENSTIERNA, mostly since he doesn't anger people very much, or they're too scared to talk to him, but here are some units he reacts the most to:
TINO VAINAMAINEN: Your unit and TINO VAINAMAINEN have a good relationship together, being 'husband and wife' after all. First and foremost, they see each other as married; but if you don't want a relationship between them, you just have to make sure they never encounter one another. Rarely has a BERWALD unit chosen another over TINO.
PETER KIRKLAND: while actually ARTHUR KIRKLAND's son, he is taken care of by BERWALD OXENSTIERNA and TINO VAINAMAINEN and sees them as his actual parents. This unit will act like BERWALD's son – and that includes making sure any and all candidate's for BERWALD's feelings, besides TINO, are acceptable. Be warned - this unit is very careful and harsh when it comes to this aspect. But, you'd better get used to it, even if you aren't after BERWALD, as BERWALD won't stand for his 'son' being taken away. The chances of a relationship between them are extremely slim, being as they would see it as incestuous, but if you give them enough alcohol, leave them alone fore a few weeks locked in a bedroom with plenty of incestuous yaoi anime, you can have those results.
MIKKEL DENSEN: This is definitely a very hateful relationship here. There is only one real relationship here: one will die or have to be taken away. If you receive both of these units, you should most likely send one back or give it to a friend that's moving away - far away. Only under the best conditions can these two live together, and even then they will act like feuding brothers, always fighting over things and never agreeing or getting along with each other.
Cleaning
This unit will happily bathe alone, and will actually be uncomfortable bathing in front of anyone else, unless he is sleeping with him or her, or if he sees them as his child or wife. Don't worry about hygiene ate all – this guys does all of it, right down to shaving his legs and armpits!
Feeding
A regular male Martha Stewart in the kitchen, this unit can whip up delicious meals for not only himself, but also you and your friends/other units. Expect to gain some weight.
Rest
BERWALD makes sure he gets enough sleep each night, only consenting to sleep with someone he's in a relationship with, but even then, he won't touch you at all unless you ask. He will also put others to bed if he feels that they aren't sleeping enough.
FAQ
Q: My unit disappeared and I can't find him anywhere!
A: Most likely he got too bored or he found a TINO VAINAMAINEN unit to make his wife. Expect to be confronted by an angry TINO VAIANAMAINEN unit owner if it is the latter. If the former, a tracking chip is imbedded in all units, and we will happily track down and retrieve for you if you just give us a call!
Troubleshooting
Problem: Instead of a full-grown BERWALD OXENSTIERNA, my box had a stoic teenager in it that doesn't wear glasses or know who TINO VAINAMAINEN is. Who is this guy?
Solution: WHOOPS! We accidently sent you a Young!Berwald. He's cute, but he's also still a Viking, so…expect your virginity to be in danger if you keep him.
However, unlike most night rapists, this one will care for you and cherish you after he has claimed you, and will not claim another if you expressly order him not to. He will only claim you if he likes you, so he will listen to you on this matter. But, if you're into threesomes or even foursomes, he will happily oblige. He is a teenager after all!
Also, be warned that after a few weeks, he may suddenly upgrade to a regular BERWALD unit, but he will still have no knowledge of TINO VAINAMAINEN if you haven't introduces them. So, don't expect your relationship to suddenly fail.
If you still want to trade him in, however, just call Customer Services and we will immediately send over a retrieval team to pick him up and promptly present you with another, free of charge!
If you want to keep him, but still want the unit you ordered, call Customer Services and we will give you a complimentary BERWALD unit for your trouble!
End Notes
With enough love, care, and attention, this BERWALD OXENSTIERNA will be the husband and friend you've always wanted! Hope you enjoy~!