I do not own Naruto….but I still love shikatema! This is a prequel oneshot to Kakashi's wisdom.
XXX Temari XXX
poooof
Long, spiky gray-brown hair; enticing blood red tattoos that accentuate fierce, fiery piercing eyes. Short red skirt with matching bandeau top and …woah GIGANTIC. "OK Kiba… good start, but if those were real you'd constantly tip over, not to mention they'd get in the way when riding Akamaru." I honestly commented. "I rate you an 8 on face, but 6 on body."
"I'm next, I'm next" Lee eagerly chimed as Kiba poofed back to his normal self wearing a goofier than usual grin. God, that one really was a dog.
poof
Long toned legs covered with orange loose socks, green spandex school girl uniform with top tied up to reveal a hint of a modest proportionate chest. Short pink layered haircut pulled back out of her face framing honest and kind green eyes and…yuck fuzzy brows. "Uggh Lee you look like Sakura in need of a major waxing. " I moaned. Surprisingly the outfit was pretty cute. Who knew Lee had a decent fashion sense…well at least when it came to dressing his alter ego.
"Alas, my youth is too green. I still can't capture the ultimate beauty." Lee lamented as he poofed back. He was immediately pushed out of the way by Naruto. "Alright ….Gaara's sister, watch a master at work." Naruto boasted as he…poofed, poofed, poofed.
Three blond girls…one with long wavy locks in pony tails. Another with her hair pulled tightly back into a French twist with large glasses. The third with perfect little ringlets and flowers in her hair. All had voluptuous, yet believable, bodies as well as his characteristic whiskers and huge bright blue eyes. Ohh and they were shimmering with emotion – good touch! Look at the other boys, they are just completely entranced. Who knew that Kiba could drool so much? But… what was with those outfits…it's like various types of …bondage gear? I complemented him with, "Naruto…I admit you are good…but where did you get the idea for your clothes? It looks like something out of a torture chamber. "
poof, poof, poof "Um," he replied blushing. " I saw these outfits in one of Ero-senin's books….ACCIDENTALLY…of course." He took in the jealous looks of his colleagues and gave them a big smile scratching the back of his head. "Ehh, my time with him gave me lots of opportunities to master my sexy no jutsu…that's why I'm so good at it." He said quickly followed by, "Chouji … it's your turn now."
I looked towards that kind hearted ninja and felt a bit embarrassed for him. From what Shikamaru had told me, Chouji hated attention. He was also very sensitive about his body image. I tried to give him an out by saying "Chouji you don't have to if…"
"Come on Chouji let's see what you can do!" Kiba, Lee and Naruto yelled in unison interrupting me.
He turned bright red, before putting down his bag of chips and with a serious look poof
I stared in amazement. Wow! I turned to see a similar reaction on the faces of the rest of the guys. Perfectly layered and wavy reddish brown hair surrounding an angelic face with large dreamy eyes. Body a bit on the thin side, but otherwise equally enticing and covered with just the right amount of gauzy clothing to maintain interest … "Chouji! I exclaimed…10!"
He poofed back to a round of applause and sounds of wonderment. "Um, thanks." He shyly replied before looking away.
I commanded their attention with a shrill whistle followed by, "Alright ninja of Konoha, you've shown me what you've got. Do you all know the mission?" They firmly nodded in affirmation. "Are you ready to succeed?" Again excited nods. "Alright then we meet back in two hours at the previously decided location. BREAK!" I ordered. As they rushed off to finish their preparations, I got up, and sauntered away thinking…victory is mine!
------hours later------
I sat there staring at those little white pieces on that old weathered board. Hmm what move should I make next.
"Temari," he boringly drawled with his head in his hands, "I'm falling asleep over here will you make a move already."
I flashed him a look of irritation and got an eye roll in response. A bird called in the distance…that's the signal….the mission has begun. Looking up I smiled my toothiest grin. "B-2e." I said as I moved my piece to its designation. He gazed at me curiously before….
-CRASH!!!- "AAAh I'm sorry, I'm sorry mister." said a spiky brown haired girl as she shoved her downsized, yet still HUGE chest into Shikamaru's face. "I was just walking my dog here and got tangled in the leash." She continued as she seductively gazed at him.
He gently grabbed her by the elbows and lifted her up off of him, all the while skillfully keeping himself clear of those huge … "It's a bit troublesome but it's fine." He flatly responded. As he set her upright he ended with, "There you go, be careful going home." Moving to sit back down he simultaneously picked up a piece and said "A-6c."
I looked over. Both Kiba and the justsu-enabled chibified Akamaru wore gaping expressions of shock at his indifference. This was quickly replaced by dejection at their failure. On to phase 2…I thought as I wiggled my ear…the signal to go on.
XXX SHIKAMARU XXX
I sat back down after making my move, and watched her determined face. No matter how often we played, Temari still hasn't come any closer to beating me at this game. I do love playing with her though. She is definitely smart enough to make it challenging and lately she has been employing …creative tactics to try to win. Yesterday she woke me at 6 AM and made me play right away thinking my usual morning drowsiness would be a handicap. Well, it was, but not enough of one. Beating her then with my usual bored and effortless play got her so worked up and annoyed that it brought a whole new thrill to winning. I hate to admit it, but she is really adorable when she's irritated, I secretly thought. Today she wanted to play outside in a busy cafe. I bet she was thinking I wouldn't be able to concentrate. Tsk tsk, she always underestimates my ability to tune everything and everyone out. This is going to be much more of a disadvantage to her than to me.
"B-5d." She forcefully said as she looked up with gleam of mischief. Hmmm, she's got something else up her sleeve I can tell by her expression, but what is it?
The sound of rapidly approaching footsteps brought me out of my thoughts as I turned to see a strangely dressed Sakura.
"Oh Shikamaru, I've been looking for you!" She sweetly said with a smile. "The fifth wanted me to give you this note."
I undid the seal to the note: Shikamaru, thank you for all your hard work. Truly you are a shining example of a ninja in the springtime of his youth. As a reward, you will receive either a jonin promotion or a date with Sakura. Your choice, contemplate this carefully." Signed the Fifth. "Troublesome." I grumbled as I crumpled the paper and threw it over my shoulder. "D-5a".
"Aaah!" Sakura responded as she dove after the piece of paper, carefully straightening it out. "Why you little….how dare you so carelessly throw this away." She stood and looked at me with fire in her eyes as she firmly clutched the letter. "KONOHA SEN..." She yelled bringing her leg up with the intention of kicking my …suddenly she was lifted into the air and blown several kilometers away. "PUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuu."
"Thanks Temari." I replied watching her place her fan back at her side again. That was weird, I wonder if she talked Sakura into trying to distract me by acting crazy... Hmm, her plan is so backfiring, she looks even more irritated now.
XXX TEMARI XXX
That fuzzy browed idiot! Why did I let those guys choose their own distraction methods. If I had more time this morning I would have planned this mission in its entirety. Well, two down two to go, I thought as I subtly nodded giving the signal for phase 3. "D-6g." I confidently quipped as I glared at Shikamaru.
The next half an hour belonged to Naruto. He came first as an innocent school girl asking Shikamaru sensei for some help with her homework. Without looking up from the board he instructed her on the proper methods of throwing a shuriken…and she left shortly thereafter with an enlightened look on her face. He came next as a librarian who dropped all her books and broke a heel in a crack in the sidewalk. Unfortunately, Iruka sensei just happened to be walking by and offered his assistance, who knew that guy had a thing for librarians. Lastly he came as that cute ringlet girl…albeit appropriately clothed this time.
"Ano, Shikamaru-kun." She shyly inquired as she approached us "I've been watching you from afar for a long time because…I like you, will you go out with me?" She cutely stammered with those shimmery blue eyes and a growing blush.
Nice job Naruto, I thought, a direct confession is always a good distraction tatic.
He glanced up in surprise at that statement before bluntly responding with. "Sorry, I can't accept your feelings… C-7a."
Naruto went ashen and then slumped away completely beaten. I looked up at Shika and his face wore that cocky look he always gets when he realizes that he's won the game.
Oh crap, I thought, is it over already? I can't lose again, I can't lose again. Chouji…where is that guy …he's my only hope! I gave the signal for phase 4 and was met with ….silence. Ah now that I think about it, he didn't actually agree to participate this morning. Man I guess it really is true what they say. If you want something done right….
XXX SHIKAMARU XXX
I had finally boxed her in, by the look on her face, she knew it too. Oh well, maybe we'll have time for another game after this. I wonder why she's not conceding defeat yet?
I watched her as she slowly took her pigtails down, saying they were giving her a headache. Next came off the forehead protector she wore around her neck revealing that smooth creamy collarbone. She leaned forward and her kimono fell open just slightly giving me an idea of what was contained directly beneath it and letting my imagination fill in the rest.
What was that! I sat up pin straight in response to her toe touching my shin and tried to hide the shudder going through my spine as that toe began tracing its way northward. I looked up and glowered, attempting to contain the heat rising from the pit of my stomach. "You've lost." I flatly told her.
"Not yet" she replied giving me this look that seemed to draw me towards her in anticipation. "C-2f." she breathily responded as she leaned further and further over the board.
I looked down at the board and couldn't see all the pieces clearly. She had leaned over so far as to obscure a few that were in closest proximity to her ... As I reached towards the far end of the board…
"Ara Shikamaru, aren't you being a naughty boy." She coyly purred. Beautiful long fingers took hold of my reaching arm. "Tsk tsk what are you reaching for Shika?" She slowly turned my hand over and began guiding it towards…all the while her toes stayed on course towards ...GULP!
I quickly pulled my hand away and pushed myself apart from the table, then hastily moved a piece that sat on my end of the board.
A small smile began on her lips and slowly widened…
XXX TEMARI XXX
"Checkmate!" I said moving my piece into position. "WHOOO HOOO, I finally beat you, are you sure you really are a genius?" I teased while I grinned from ear to ear.
" You troublesome…" He whispered, with a look of shock, annoyance, and just a hint of amusement .
"Ahh that was great. Man well look at the time, gotta go Shika, see you later." I replied while I stretched out of that chair and put my hair back up.
XXX SHIKAMARU XXX
The loss was shocking…but I couldn't deny that she had DEFINITELY won that game. It bothered me to lose to a woman, but that was by far the most enjoyable shogi I had ever played. I watched her get up and saw that she was instantly joined by Kiba, Naruto, and Lee.
"Temari you are amazing!" Lee exclaimed in wonderment jumping up and down. "What kind of training did you go through for that." Kiba followed with "I agree, excellent methods…teach me that come hither look…that one is deadly." Naruto just stared at her nodding with wide eyed wonder.
With a slight smirk on my face, I shook my head and thought to myself… amazing, yes amazing indeed.
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Um I don't know how to play shogi so sorry If the moves don't make sense.
I tried to make it seem like Shika was so engrossed in the game (and Temari) that he didn't even notice that the others were jutsuing…but I don't think I quite succeeded …sorry.