AN: So this is my 1st Mass Effect Fanfiction. I am fully aware that this might have many grammatical errors and will most likely update this story in the near future. I decided to dabble with the whole Indoctrination and 'Beings of Light' theories as well as emphasize a more "spiritual" tone for Shepard as she processes her "death". Please keep in mind that there I'm working fully with what I know and decided to add my own little twists to the Mass Effect storyline, attempting to make sense of the plotholes, if you will. Looking forward to any critique and please feel free to review if you like. Enjoy! -Venus

"The Awakening"

There was only darkness.

Shadows moving closer and closer… 'Am I dead?' I thought. As I looked down at my wound I realized that there was no blood- Only a lightness that could only remind me of zero gravity, the lightness I felt what now feels like eons ago… when my body hung like a thread in space, slowly bathing in radiation. I closed my eyes shut.

"Do not be afraid" a voice whispered.

I opened my eyes and suddenly found myself alone. The shadows were gone, the trees-no where in sight. There was only a blue light as bright as thousand suns that could burn holes through my head.

I tried to block the light from my eyes to see who it was, but there was no one there. It was so bright…

"Where am I?" I asked, trying to make an image, but it was just too damn bright. And I couldn't make a form.

"Earthborn, you do not yet realize that your actions have brought you here. You sacrificed your life, selflessly, to protect the ones you love."

The light only grew brighter and I fell to my hands and knees. Slightly blinded and light- headed. My heart, racing. I don't know what to expect…

"Do not be scared." The voice whispered. "You fear that which you do not understand."

"Too many lives lost, so much at stake, I didn't do enou-"

" Guilt, sadness, pain," The voice replied "That which permeated through your flesh is… no more. Earthborn, this is your true essence, that which connects all living things."

'Was I dreaming?' I thought. At this point I couldn't tell what was real anymore. My memories are still vivid but hazy. I remember the catalyst. I remember making a choice… Was it real? "I don't remember what happened.

I tried to look up but the blue light was too strong. I wanted to cry but my eyes burned dry. I can feel the whole universe pulsating inside me. My heart-set on overdrive by my senses, at least from what I can remember. I started to focus my attention on what seemed like little white dots that resembled stars just fleeting by me and all around me at an enormous amount of speed.

My pupils dilating.

I am going so…fast, and yet, I am not moving at all. Motionlessly suspended within the grasp of some sort of blue radiant light, and I feel so, so at ease. My thoughts: gradually growing dimmer and dimmer. There is definitely something happening here and it is real.

Could this be what Kumun Shol described in his visions on Klencory? I don't know what to believe at this point.

If only Liara could see this… Liara. Everything I did, my whole life and all I really wanted was to be with her, If only she was here… if only I could see her again.

This must be it, I thought to myself. I must be dead.

"No," The light replied. "You are not done yet."

Suddenly, I saw a form from the bright light… It began to walk towards me and and before I had a chance to react it walked right INTO ME.

I opened my eyes and with amazement, saw myself floating within this blue energy. I felt so…many things… things I've never felt before. As I looked at myself I realized I was covered in this light, drifting, soaking up this blue light like a sponge and it was transcendent. Suddenly the reflection of light that looked like stars appeared within sight… I felt like a feather…this felt so beautiful. There were no words to describe it. I felt so much peace that it overwhelmed me. I could feel the sensation pulsating, enthralling every inch of my being.

"I don't know who you are or what you are" I managed to slip out of my mouth, incoherently… ablaze like fire with light.

Shepard's eyes burst with blue light.

Shepard is a blazed like a phoenix in this powerful blue light.

"You, Shepard, are a being of light, but you must return" the voice whispered "You are the only organic being in the history of your peoples' existence blessed with the power of incarnation, and so it must be: there is much to be done. Your people will need much guidance, there is more time for you."

"But I don't understand… what's happening to me?"

There was light piercing through me and I started to shiver. It felt like someone was injecting ice into my veins. Everything was spinning around me as I stood in mid air, sloshed in this burning blue light. This is not what I could have ever imagined in all my existence… this was beyond me… beyond words. The visions… they were right all along.

"There are many questions, But there is one thing you must know- you are a being of light. Your essence, what you have always been, trapped in the external worlds fighting machines made so long ago. These machines that claim to bring order to chaos are in fact true in purpose but they were corrupted millions of years ago by Laviathan of Dis: The very first reaper from dark matter. Leviathan's true powers lie in deception- and yet his power could not withstand your will power, which is what destroyed them all ultimately.

"Sovereign…"

"Yes. Laviathan was indeed a Being of Light but he became corrupted in his vision. He believed that destroying all organic life was the only way to protect you from the devil machines, the ones that lurk in further galaxies, lost in a different time in space that you, or your people have yet discovered. He believed that the only way was genocide. He managed to use his light to deceive you by projecting your guilt an innermost fears as a basis for his deception. Your will power has always been, since your 1st meeting with him, the reason for his return and inevitable failure."

"He was once like us, but he grew arrogant and scornful. He wanted to control nature itself. Change the course of evolution, but couldn't do it alone, so he called upon Harbinger and his army of the dark machines: The Reapers."

What… I knew it all al-

"Along? Yes. Indeed since your 1st meeting with the prothean beacon we have tried to forewarn you of this impending calamity. The Protheans hopelessly tried to further their knowledge of Laviathan's corruption to future generations but were quickly diminished before anything could be done. In the process of extracting such powerful visions, you were induced to the 1st stages of indoctrination. And yet, how quick they were to underestimate you Shepard.

"I want to go back. I want to help rebuild the damage that was done… please."

You will return and help build that which has been destroyed by these creatures of the dark space, but you will return in a different incarnation. Your human body is no longer habitable. In the process of ending Laviathan's threat, you brought an end to what was once your body. You fought hard tenacious one. There are many who will not know or recognize your new form but you will return, but you will not remember. Since before you were born, you were blessed with many incarnations, sometimes these incarnations take forms as dreams or visions and there is one… One Asari whom you've known as the former."

"Liara." I whispered, dumbfounded.

Am I hearing right? Thought to myself.

"Yes. The one you call Liara is indeed impervious to your identity and power to incarnate, Her consciousness lies strongly with you and always has. Since her 1st meeting with you, she has always sensed this connection."

The sensation throbbing inside me was too strong to bear.

All I could do is think of Liara… I focused my attention on her and only her and then I remembered everything I fought for, my friends, the ones I've lost-the ones I loved. My whole life I fought for something because I believed. Maybe because I always knew that someone had to fight… and anyways, I had lost everything, my parents, I felt like I had to choose this path or I would've gone fucking insane… And yet, here I am… All of the pain, all the weight of the universe, all the responsibility didn't mean a god damn thing anymore.

I have fought with everything that I had, surely paid for the ones I left behind. But now: all I feel is peace, for once. I leave knowing that I didn't fight in vain, and most of all: that the theories were right and that everything that didn't seem possible, somehow made sense. How could I be so naïve? How could I be so blind? There's no way in hell that I would have survived for so long… Ive been dead so many times, and somehow always manage to come back, the heavens, the universe always summoning my return-as if there's something I'm meant to do, someone I'm meant to BE.

I close my eyes and allow the light to envelop me in its frenzy, it's maddening intensity. The hard shell, my impenetrable chassis dwindling into my subconscious. Whatever I returned as, I hoped that Liara was safe. That everyone was safe. Maybe one day she or they might be able to remember me…

This is it.

Shepard's whole life flashes before her eyes

The bright blue light suddenly became dimmer and dimmer, a strange and overwhelming sense of sleep engulfed me and all to sudden-the darkness returned.

Shepard Breathes