What If
What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
"An Li, I'm asking you as a worried mother for her daughter who has left us to attend college in a faraway land." Khun Yai stated to her stubborn daughter. "You won't even let us send you to your Uncles house so you can live with them as your protectors."
"Mother I am twenty now, I do not need protectors," she sighed glancing around her as her peers passed the phone booth she was in.
"In my day…"
"No mother," she stated. "In your day I would still be on the island growing rice."
"Why is that so bad?"
"It's not," An Li sighed into her phone and calmly explained. "I want more, I want an education."
"You can get an education here with me and your father."
"I want an education here, in America, not in Thailand."
"What is wrong with Thailand?" Khun Yai sat down exasperated.
"Nothing is wrong with Thailand, I love Thailand, it is my home. It's just different that's all. I'm sorry mother, but I have to go. I have another class."
"An Li, don't hang up on me."
"I'm sorry, I have to go. I love you. We'll talk again soon," An Li blew a kiss into the phone before replacing it on its receiver.
Picking up the pace she headed into the building that housed the economics class she was running late for. Normally another mindless lecture about facts and figures was not something she looked forward too. But today was different. Today there was going to be a guest speaker, and although the gossip was still mainly here say, she knew the rumors were true.
Taking her seat toward the front she put down her books just as her instructor walked into the room asking for silence.
"Ladies and gentlemen do to time constraints we should get started right away," he began. "It is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you a giant in the world of business, who has come here today to share a bit of his wisdom and knowledge with us. Please join me in giving Mr. Harrison Tipton a warm welcome."
When the introductions were finished and the applause had died down a man with great authority stood in front of the podium and prepared to speak to the many in attendance. Pen in hand and an open notebook at ready, the students waited for his first few words.
Yet, before he began there was a slight commotion by the doorway and a young man stepped into the room. He looked toward the disappointed expression from the man at the podium and mouthed a small apology. Quietly he closed the door behind him and sat down in an empty chair nearby. From that moment on the speech was a blur, and all she could distinctly concentrate on was the man sitting in that chair.
He wore a clean crisp business suit with a white blouse and a dark blue tie to match. He looked to be around her age, light complexion with thick brown hair and soft brown eyes. He was the handsomest man she'd ever seen.
She noticed he tried to seem sharp and on top of his game. But, something told her that it was just an act, underneath he seemed a bit out of his comforts zone. When he turned to her he smiled and she found herself blushing a bit.
Trying to remember where she was and what she was supposed to be doing, she returned her attention to what was being said. For all she knew the tycoon could have been speaking in riddles because nothing he said seemed to process as her perennial vision kept returning to the man sitting next to the door. Too soon she gave up and realized the lecture she was so looking forward too was no longer on her mind and her eyes strayed to the clock on the wall.
A couple of hours later when the lecture was over and everyone waited to leave she was disappointed to see the young man walk out with Mr. Tipton and his entrouge. She could have kicked herself for letting him distract her so. Sighing she folded up her notebook and took her leave.
She was walking out of the room when she suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder. "Hi." She turned around and to her surprise it was the man who she'd admired.
"Hi," she replied a bit shyly.
"I'm Will," he smiled extending his hand. "I noticed you inside."
"I'm An Li," she smiled feeling a bit sheepish that he'd known she was watching him.
"I couldn't help but also notice that you were…watching me."
"I'm sorry, i…I'm embarrassed to say you may just be right."
"Don't be, I'm glad you were."
"Oh…that's good. I mean that's…" An Li closed her mouth in fear of what else might come out.
After a few quiet awkward moments he finally broke the silence. "So business major?"
"Human services and you?" she found his hesitation adorable, but was unsure if he found hers to be the same.
"Business," he replied looking around.
"What did you think of Mr. Tipton?"
"He knows his stuff," he told her.
"I agree."
"Although I must say his stand on corporate takeovers is not my idea of the way to do business."
"Yeah," what was wrong with her, she couldn't form two intelligent thoughts together. "I agree." Again silence ensued.
"Well I guess I better be going."
"Um…sure," she replied not sure why he had this affect on her. Although she figured isolation on a small island can make one a bit socially awkward. "Will!" Suddenly he stopped and turned to her. "Would you like to get some coffee?"
"Sure," he replied with a smile.
"Okay."
"Okay."
The rest of the afternoon turned out to be much more pleasant. At least the moments of uncomfortable silence were gone. And when they began to open up to one another, she found that they had a lot in common, which surprised her considering where she grew up. Back home she'd always believed that you put people first then business. Unfortunately, while attending college here in the states, it was obvious not many agreed with her point of view. Until she met this man.
She found his ideals on stopping the evils of corporate greed and saving the small business owner both quite endearing. Several of the boys she'd met or dated only talked about the almighty dollar and how they would be rich and retired by forty. Even if they had to step on a few toes to make that happen. But not Will, he fascinated her. There was absolutely nothing pretentious about him and she found that refreshing.
When she began telling him about her home and its people she found that he couldn't quite keep his eyes off of her. And she found that the attention pleased her. Many of her friends here found her way of life dull and a bit outdated, was what she believed one called it. Yet this man hung on her every word like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever heard. Instantly she knew her heart was in danger.
They continued to talk awhile longer until it was time for her next class. She gave him her number and they headed in separate directions.
By the end of the class she was anxious to get home. When she finally did, she rushed in the door and flicked on her answering machine. A few unimportant messages came on including one from her aunt who had gotten a call from her mother earlier that day. She finished putting her books down and waited as she went on about how worried she was making everyone and how she'd be much better off living with them. When she thought she couldn't take it anymore the message finally ended.
Then on the answering machine she heard a voice. "Hi An Li, would you like to join me for dinner. It's nothing fancy, maybe a couple of slices of pizza. I know a great place a few blocks from the college. Anyway, if your interested give me a call." As soon as the message ended An Li dialed his number and they were on for dinner. That was the beginning of the end for her. From that day forward they were inseparable and a month into the relationship, her heart was his.
Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heart-ache
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
Right back to the start
Would you take the chance and make the change
Over the next six years things began to change. She supposed it started when Harrison insisted on his son joining him in his business ventures. He said to show him the ropes, but unfortunately he was shown more than that. The man she'd fallen in love with, was fading. She wasn't sure when or how, but she was slowly losing him and to no evil she could fight.
"An Li seriously," Will argued. "What is the problem. You wanted to get married, we got married. You wanted a home, I bought you one. You wanted to finish college I supported it. What else could you possibly want from me?" He growled walking out the door before she could give him a reply.
"I want you," she sighed. "The you, I used to know."
The phone rang and she picked it up. "Hello," she said once again with a sigh.
"How is my little girl?"
"Bi Da," An Li smiled as she plopped down in the nearest chair. "Everything's ok."
"It doesn't sound that way."
"The world is spinning daddy and I don't know how to stop it."
"He's trying to find himself in the corporate world," her father stated finishing the conversation they'd begun last night.
"I know but, he's so different."
"Different how?"
"When we first met, we had so much in common. We wanted the same things. We talked for hours about what we could do to make things better in this world. Now he talks about money and power and taking over his father's business some day and making it his own."
"Baby."
"I think there's someone else," she blurted out not sure if she meant too. "I mean I don't know for sure, but…"
"An Li have you asked him about it?"
"No, I'm too afraid to know the answer," she told him. "Daddy help me, tell me what to do?"
"Your not a little girl anymore, I can't tell you what to do, but I can make suggestions."
"Well then I need a suggestion."
"Talk to Will. I know he loves you."
"How can you be so sure?" she asked a sad tone in her voice. "Lately it feels like we are on different planets."
"Just trust me. I think you'll feel better once you talk to him."
"Okay," she smiled into the phone before she replaced it on the receiver.
Still sitting in the chair she placed a hand to her stomach and lovingly caressed it. "I think it's time to pay daddy a little visit. Let's have a picnic." An hour later equipped with a picnic basket and a new outlook she jumped in a cab and headed toward Tipton Industries.
Her world ended when the cab stopped at a red light just before arriving at the doors to the Tipton offices. From her vantage point she could see Will standing in front of the building, his arms wrapped around a petite blond woman. He was kissing her the way he used to kiss her. And An Li felt sick to her stomach because in that moment she knew their life together was nothing but a lie.
Here I stand alone
With this weight upon my heart
And it will not go away
In my head I keep on looking back
Right back to the start
Wondering what it was that made you change
The argument lasted a few hours. In the end An Li stood by the doorway with a couple of suitcases in her hands. Determined to only take what she brought with her. Her aunt and uncle waited downstairs as she said goodbye to a world she never really felt a part of and to a life that was never really hers.
"An Li don't this," Will pleaded. "We can make this work."
"Sadly I don't want to. I can't pretend anymore. You aren't the same man. All you can talk about is hurting people and taking over companies, and making your millions. Well, now you can do it. Now I won't be standing in your way. I wish things were different. I wish the man I fell in love with and am still in love with was the man standing in front of me right now. But, your not him. That man is gone and that scene on the street corner this morning, made me realize that."
"What about the baby?"
"She's your child too," An Li told him. "That won't ever change. I'll keep you informed when the time comes to give birth."
"Wait, where are you going now?" he asked.
"I'll stay with my Uncle and Aunt until after the baby is born. Then I think I'll head back to Thailand for a time. After that I'm not sure."
"Nothing I say will change your mind?"
An Li shook her head and grabbed her things. "Goodbye Wilfred." With that she slipped out the door and out of his life.
Well I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind
What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
The Seven Seas graduation ceremony had been a wonderful one. Their daughter looked absolutely beautiful beaming from the stage as she accepted the long overdue diploma. An Li looked over toward Wilfred who was for the time being not surrounded by his various bodyguards. He nodded to her and she returned the gesture suddenly reminded of the day they'd met and the day she'd left.
She laughed when his new wife stood up to stand beside him. The glare in her eyes said it all, but the sign of mistrust just made her grin. She racked her brain trying to remember what number she was, was it Will's seventieth or eightieth time down the aisle. She had to wonder where and how he'd met this one. From the looks of her she would bet that she wasn't any older then London. But with a name like Bambi or Barbie or whatever the heck it was she still had to wonder what was going through his mind at the moment he said I do.
When the ceremony was finally finished London ran up to her and she through her arms around her daughter.
"Mom I got my diploma."
"I see that," An Li smiled down at London as she handed it to her. "We'll have to frame it."
"Londee I'm so proud of you!" Will stepped in and gave his daughter a hug before turning his attention to her mother. "An Li, it's been awhile."
"Yes it has," she replied as he stepped forward to give her a hug as well.
"I hope all is well."
"It is," she said. "I see you've gotten married again?"
"Yes, eighteens the charm," he mumbled but An Li caught something in his eyes, could it have been regret. She wondered if that emotion was directed toward her or the girl that was clinging to him like he was a life raft.
"I'm Bunny," she smiled extending her arms out to give London a hug. "But you can call me mom."
An Li raised an eyebrow and looked over to Will. "London has a mother." Was all he said before turning his attention back to London.
"London I've made early reservations at the finest restaurant in New York. Go and get your friends together and we'll set out."
"Okay," she replied thanking him before she left.
"Ah, Barbie…"
"Bunny," she corrected him.
"Yeah Bunny, give us a minute," he told her and lead An Li away.
"What's on your mind?" she asked him when they were alone.
"Nothing I just wanted to apologize."
"For what?" she asked.
"For the past," he said keeping his eyes glued on the ocean. "I messed up."
"I left too soon. Gave up too easily."
"If we could go back," he asked.
"Will it's been years," when he didn't reply she continued. "We can't change the past."
"We could have made it," he frowned.
"I guess we'll never know."
He wrapped her in his arms and for that brief moment she was twenty again and her heart skipped a beat. They had the world at their feet and the possibilities were endless.
'Cos I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keep on spinning in my mind
What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away
'Cos I still love you more than I can say
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
We'll never know
AN: Okay this has been in my file for awhile so I wanted to post it to see what everyone else thought.
This song is based off of an animated version of "A Christmas Carol" Kate Winslet sings the lyrics. You can find it on youtube if your interested. :)
Please read and review! :)