Angel: I know I haven't finished my other fic Changes, but the plot for this one-shot is swimming in my head and it's driving me crazy. I just need to get this out of my system. This will just be short, I promise. Do enjoy it, though I doubt you will.

Nothing matters

Everything was scattered every where, his clothes, books, blankets, pillow, ripped curtains, broken lamps and even his cactus was rooted out of its pot lying helplessly on the floor. His room was in chaos, but he couldn't careless. Nothing in this world matter now.

He heard a soft knock on his door. "Syuusuke…" It was his sister's voice. "Please open the door. You don't have to get through this alone." He could hear that her voice was raspy. He concluded that she was indeed crying. Why would she? He was supposed to be the one doing the crying.

"Go away." He muttered in a hoarse voice.

"Syuusuke, you're not alone…" His sister said before he heard her footsteps walk away from his room.

He leaned back against the side of his bed, looking at his dark and cluttered room. Why? Why couldn't he cry? Scream as loudly as he might, yet no tears came out of his eyes.

Smiling sadly, he remembered the days he truly treasured, the days that he could easily see his smile, his laugh, his hugs and everything about him. But now, everything will just be a distant memory. "Eiji…" He slowly said his name finally facing the reality. "You're really gone now huh?" He laughed bitterly as he brushed his hand through his hair. "DAMNIT! WHY!" He threw the nearest thing he could grab to the wall, which was unfortunately the pot for his cactus. It shattered as it hit the wall creating a loud noise.

"Syuusuke!" He heard his mom yelled down stairs before a different pairs of footsteps could be heard coming upstairs. "Syuuske, please open the door! Otou-san, please get the spare keys and open this door!"

They were all too noisy. Why couldn't they understand him? He wants to be alone.

"Dear, this is something Syuusuke need to get over alone, we can't-"

"I don't care! My son is in there and he's clearly hurt! Yumiko!"

"Okaa-san…" He heard his sisters footsteps run towards the next door to get the keys.

He stood up and pushed his bed towards the door to block it. He didn't want his family to see him like this. "Go away! Just… just leave me alone!" He yelled as he sat at the edge of his bed.

"Syuusuke! You have to move on! Please open the door and talk to me. I know Eiji-kun was important to you, but it's been a week! You haven't eaten or come out of your room since then. Please… it's hard for us to see you like this."

"Okaa-san, here." He heard the key's rattle as they tried to open his door. "It's blocked. I can't get it open."

"Syuusuke, please open the door."Sobs could be heard from behind the door but he chose to ignore it.

"Dear, let's leave him to his thoughts. You know how he is. He never tells us anything. It's better this way. He'll be back soon enough." His father tried to calm down his mother.

He numbly shook as he sat back down on his dirty floor. He knows that his family was there for him, but he feels empty and alone. It was as if the light of his life was taken away. "I need you Eiji…" He buried his face in his hands. "I need you." He wasn't just broken, we was shattered into pieces. Pieces that try as he might to pick up, it just pricks and hurt him over and over again. "Why did you have to leave me? It hurts so much Eiji."

As he heard a car pass by their house, a flash of light illuminated pieces of broken glass from a frame. He stood up and picked up the shattered frame and stared at the picture inside of it. Tracing the lively face on the photograph, finally he felt the tears slowly flow down. "I love you Eiji." His vision blurred as he continues to gaze on Eiji's picture. "Saa, you're unfair Eiji, I'm supposed to be a sadist not a masochist. I'm supposed to enjoy other's pain, and yet here you are unknowingly crushing my whole life. Why did you have to die…" He felt a strong pain inside him as he said those words.

Slowly, he cleared his floor with his bare hands, ignoring the pain of getting cuts from broken glasses and placed the photo in the middle. He felt his hands sting as blood drips down on the floor, but he didn't care. Nothing matters now, everything will end soon.

"Ne, Eiji… wait for me ok?"

Yuuta didn't expect that his visit home that morning will forever change his view in life. As he opened the door of their house and was about to say that he's back, he heard a loud yell coming from upstairs.

"Yumiko-neechan!" He quickly rushed upstairs, his mother and father just behind him. "Nee-chan!" He saw his sister on the floor in front of his brother's open door. She was shaking and crying as she pointed inside the room. He felt his body weaken as he slowly walked towards her.

"Syu…Syuusuke…" She muttered in between sobs.

Yuuta turned his head and saw his brother lifeless body lying on the floor full of blood. "Aniki!" He yelled as he ran inside the room and beside his brother. He tried to fight back the tears that were streaming down his face as he fell down on his knees. "Why Aniki…"

He heard his mother scream and fainted just outside the door as Yumiko continues to cry.

He then noticed a photo and a small scrap of paper beside his brother's body. It was a photo of him and Eiji a month before the said redhead died in an accident. Yuuta remembered the number of plea's his sister did for him to go home and talk to his brother. He didn't even bother to come home. He always thought that his brother was strong, so it didn't even pass his mind that he would do this to his self. He felt sick. If he just listened to her and went back earlier everything might have been different.

Slowly, he picked up the small paper beside his brother. Yuuta slammed his fist on the floor crying harder when he read the words written on it.

" I'm Sorry."

End of Story

Angel: I hope I did ok or was it bad? *wince* I hope I didn't upset anyone.

Please do review. Thank you.