WARNING: this is the most stupid/pointless/sexeh thing ever. If you have anything against stupid/pointless/sexeh SasuNaru Fics, then I suggest you run away and maybe also call the cops because if you click the back button I will kill you in your sleep 8| I was high on pixie stix when I wrote this. Oh and by the way this is rated M for language. And sexiness. ;D
"So..." Orochimaru started, eying Sasuke hungrily, "Now that Kabuto's gone, wanna... you know... DO IT?"
What Sasuke felt like saying was:
NO! GOD! HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO FUCKING TELL YOU I DON'T FUCKING LIKE YOU? YOU'RE LIKE 100 FUCKING YEARS OLD OR SOMETHING! AND I'M NOT EVEN ENTIRELY SURE WHAT FUCKING GENDER YOU ARE! SERIOUSLY! AND GET A HAIRCUT, HIPPIE!
But what came out was:
"Hn. Still believe you even have a chance, old man." He muttered, mostly to himself.
Orochimaru frowned, "Come on, Sasuke-kun. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TOOOO-" He was cut off by Sasuke slamming the door. He wished he could of broken the door off of its hinges and hurled it in Orochi-Crap-Head's face.
I need some sleep. Maybe I'll have a nice dream about punching Orochimaru until his face falls off. Or Kabuto. Or both.
He smirked.
Well, either a dream about that, OR RUNNING BACK TO KONOHA AND SLAMMING THROUGH NARUTO'S HOUSE AND DECLARING MY SECRET LOVE FOR HIM. THEN WE WILL MAKE PASSIONATE LOVE IN THE SHOWER. NAKED. OH GOD. NARUTO. NAKED. WITH ME. NAKED. OH GOD. I'M DYING. OH MY FREAKING GOD. NAKED NARUTO. NAKED NARUTOOOOOO-
Oh my god I have problems.
He shook his head and entered his room, shutting the door behind him. He face planted into his bed, and seconds later was fast asleep.
And of course he had a dream about naked Naruto in the shower.
"Sasukeee, you came back for me? I thought you hated me..." Naruto muttered, pressed against the shower wall. Naked. Did he mention Naruto was naked? Because he was naked. Oh my god naked Naruto.
"NO! I'VE NEVER HATED YOU! I WAS JUST SAYING THAT SO NOBODY WOULD THINK I'M GAY. WHICH I AM. IF YOU CAN'T TELL. I MEAN LOOK AT THIS BONER. IT'S LIKE A THIRD ARM."
"Teehee~ Sasukee! You're so naughty, 'ttebayo! Neh, Sasuke... I have too many tails... Do you think you can take them all?"
OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE FROM SEXY OVERLOAD. HEY LOOK HE'S NAKED.
"YES. GIVE ME THEM. GIVE ME THEM NOWWW!"
"Teehee!" OH GOD. HE'S TURNING AROUND. OH GOD JUST A LITTLE MORE. GOD HURRY UP I'M DYING!
He blinked himself back to reality when something that felt like a snake wrapped around his torso. He scowled.
REALLY? REALLY! I WAS GETTING TO THE FUCKING GOOD PART, AND SOME RANDOM SNAKE HAD TO COME TRY AND RAPE ME. WHAT THE FU-
"It seems I've been noticed." A voice came from the door. Sasuke's scowl deepened.
So it wasn't just some random snake. It was some creepy guy. That's just great. Wait is he saying something? Neh, who gives a fuck. Prepare to die.
The room suddenly exploded, causing a massive dome to form inside the earth.
Sasuke straightened himself up and glared down at the boy who had interrupted his dream. That would someday come true. JUST YOU WAIT OK!
He was about to yell something like, CAN'T YOU CONTROL YOUR FUCKING PETS? AT LEAST TRAIN THEM NOT TO RAPE PEOPLE! GOD! I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING NARUTO IN THE SHOWER!
When Sakura came bolting into the dome.
What the fuck? Sakura knows this creepy guy? GASP! WAIT A FUCKING SECOND! SAKURA IS HERE! THAT MEANS NARUTO IS HERE! HE MUST BE HERE! HE MUSTTT BEEEE HERREEEEEEEEEE!
"Sakura." He started, wanting to ask if Naruto was there too. He waited -impatiently- for her to finally come to her senses and turn around. Was it just him, or was she going in slow motion? What the fuck? JUST TURN AROUND WOMAN I HAVE A QUESTION!
"Sasuke..." Sasuke heard her mumble.
No shit Sherlocke.
He was about to ask, when a certain blonde-haired dobe came rushing into the scene. Yes. He came...rushing into the scene. Oh god I'm hilarious.
Wait a second.
NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUUU! OH MY GOD! YOU'RE EVEN SEXIER THAN I IMAGINED! OH MY GOD YOU HAVE MUSCLES! OH MY GOD I WANT TO LICK YOUR TUMMYYYYY! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
"Sasuke..." He heard the blonde whisper.
Oh god he just whispered my name.
"Naruto..." He thought, only to realize he'd said it out loud.
Fuck. Uh. Pretend you're having a flash back.
Naruto looked down. He looked distraught. Like he was battling with himself whether to speak or not.
IT'S OK MY LOVE! I SHALL COMFORT YOU! JUST LET ME KILL THEM! PLEASE LET ME KILL THEM SO WE CAN BE ALONE!
Naruto gritted his teeth, and suddenly started, "If so, then why...?"
He looked down. He looked so... defeated. Sasuke swallowed.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL ME THEN?" He shouted, clenching his fists.
Sasuke frowned.
Um, because you're the sexiest man on earth that's why?
Sasuke frowned again.
GOD WHAT AM I THINKING? HE'S LIKE POURING HIS HEART OUT TO ME AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT HIS HOW SEXY HE IS? COME ON!
"I thought you were going to break our bonds!" He shouted again.
Sasuke sighed, "The reason is simple."
You're fucking hot and sexy and oh my god shut up brain.
"It's not that I didn't cut those bonds..." He started again.
"I just didn't want to give him pleasure by seeing me obtain power in his ways." It was true. Seriously, Itachi was a douche bag.
And plus you're freaking hot.
Sasuke blinked.
Wait a second, this is the last time I'll be seeing Naruto in a while! Orochimaru said we were switching locations again for no reason except for he enjoys watching me suffer because he's a dick! I MUST SMELL HIM!
"Uh- I merely spared your life on a whim." There. That sounds cool. God I want to screw him.
Sasuke jumped over to Naruto's side, and rested a hand on his shoulder.
His shoulder feels good. Oh my god I can smell him. He smells like fucking roses. Oh my god I miss this smell! Wait- I can't just sit here and smell him! I HAVE TO ACT COOOOOL!
"Come to think of it, you wanted to be Hokage? If you have time to chase after me, you could be training." He whispered into Naruto's ear.
No. Please continue to chase me.
"Sasuke- I can't stop chasing you," Naruto whispered, "You're too... hot..."
"WHAT THE FUCK?" He heard Sakura scream.
SERIOUSLY! I AGREE WITH YOU FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE! DID HE SERIOUSLY JUST FUCKING SAY THAT?
He heard Naruto chuckle.
Why is he laughing...? Did I say that out loud? ... Shit.
"Uh-um... Wait... You think I'm hot?"
"I think you're freaking sexy."
I'm dreaming.
"You're not dreaming, Sasuke." Naruto whispered, pulling his face towards his. Sasuke's eyes bulged out of his head when he felt warm lips crush against his.
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sakura screamed again, covering her ears with her hands. "WHAT THE HELL?"
"What? You honestly thought I was chasing after him for three whole years just because of some stupid promise I made when we were what, twelve? Please, bitch."
Naruto smirked and trapped Sasuke's shocked lips against his own once again.
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?" Sakura screamed for the third time.
And they continued to make out while Sakura screamed and Sai and Yamato just sat there doing nothing because I forgot to put them in this story.
THE END 3
Now wasn't that the most amazing thing you've ever read? xD I'M BORED OK D: