Kura: Hey all, I finally got inspiration to write the last part of this story. It took a while, because I was debating over how it should end, and it was really hard to choose. I hope the rest of you are happy with the ending too.
Leave Out All the Rest
I gritted my teeth. No! I wasn't going to lose her again! I had done everything she'd asked. I called Haruhi! I reconciled with my past as well as I was probably ever going to be able to! She couldn't just be gone!
"When's the next flight?" I snapped, frightening the poor woman behind the desk.
"I...I don't..." she hurriedly searched for the information on her computer, "S-Seven-thirty, sir."
"Get me a ticket!" I demanded.
"I-I'm sorry, sir," she cowered, "The flight's completely booked."
I swore and whirled around, stomping away. Giving up was not an option. She made me to talk to Haruhi, dammit! Now it was Kimi's turn to keep up her end of the bargain! Quickly, I found the flight information board. The next plane to America would be leaving from gate twenty-three. Perfect! Now all I had to do was wait there until a passenger came along. Then I could buy their ticket and follow Kimi!
Then I ran into another problem, security. They wouldn't let me through because I didn't have a ticket. Damn them! I sighed, feeling a heavy weight in my chest. What was I going to do now?
"Damn it!" I screamed, "Why am I so stupid?"
A few people scattered in fright, and no one wanted to come near me. I didn't care. I was so pissed it hurt. Hanging my head, I squeezed my eyes shut. Now what?
"U-Um, sir?" a young woman asked, "Are you alright?"
She gave me a worried look. It was then that I noticed the tears streaming down my cheeks. Blushing, I quickly wiped them away. I never cried in public. I chuckled wryly. Apparently Kimi had returned the favor and messed me up too.
"Sir?" the girl asked, backing away slightly.
"The woman I love just left me," I wasn't sure why I was telling her this, but I didn't care, "because I treated her like crap. I deserve it, but I want her back."
The stranger smiled sympathetically, "Oh, I see."
"I wanted to go after her, but there aren't any tickets left to America. I can't wait until tomorrow. If I do, I'll be too late," I sighed sadly, "I don't know what to do."
"If that's the case, then here," she held out a ticket, "take this."
"Wh-what?" I gasped. That little slip of paper read America, clear as day. She was giving me her ticket?
"I'm supposed to go home today, but I don't really want to leave just yet. Besides, you need it," she said with a grin.
"Th-thank you!" I smiled, and quickly dug into my pocket, trying to find my wallet. I finally pulled it out and grabbed what I hoped was more than enough money for a new ticket, "Here!"
"Thanks!" she bowed and ran off.
I raced back into the airport and spitefully waved my ticket in the security officer's face. I stomped through the scanner and raced to the terminal, sending up a silent prayer that Kimi might be delayed in America so that I'd be able to catch up. I tried to call her again, with no luck. Sighing, I hoped that I'd be able to find her in America. It only just occurred to me that I would have no way to contact her.
It was a long wait until 7:30. I was impatiently tapping my foot by six, and I'd only been there for fifteen minutes. The worst part about the wait was that it had given me time to think about everything I'd done, about every mistake I'd made. I was such an idiot...
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?
At some point, I must have fallen asleep. I jerked up when someone accidentally bumped into me. A mother scolded her young son, who looked upset.
"I-It's okay, really," I protested, and glanced at the clock, feeling my blood run cold, "A-Actually, you really helped me! Thanks!"
It was 7:20, and they had almost finished boarding the plane. I ran to the end of the small line and grinned sheepishly as I handed the ticket to the attendant. Sighing with relief, I searched for my seat. It wasn't great, I was flying coach. Still, at least I was going to America. Sitting down, I stared out the window and thought back to the nightmares - or rather the awful memories - that had plagued me during my short sleep.
I'd never really realized the full consequences of what I'd done to Kimi until just then. She'd actually been scared of me. I wondered if she could ever truly forgive me. I definitely didn't deserve it, but I still desperately hoped for it. If she could forgive me, then maybe I could start to forgive myself.
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
There was one thing I wanted to say to her, but with her phone going straight to voicemail, I couldn't do it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It was something that I needed to say in person. She'd been good at hiding her emotions from me before, and I was sure she could do it again. I wanted to know that she really understood. I hoped that she might ask me to stay with her in America. Maybe we could start over. I let the fantasy carry me away until the plane took off. It was so noisy, and I was right over the engine! My jet was much quieter. Wait...
I burst out laughing. I really was an idiot! How Kimi managed to stand me for so long, I couldn't possibly imagine. I was so carried away with my emotions that I'd completely overlooked the simple solution to my problem. I supposed that was why Kaoru ended up taking over Mom's business. He could actually think things through. I was just his stupid, hot-headed, older brother. I couldn't do anything right. I smiled sadly and wondered what my twin was doing. He was probably pulling another late night at the office. He did that a lot, since I wasn't very reliable. I should have been helping, but I was just stuck in my own mire of self-pity. God, I was truly a despicable human being.
I could only hope that someone would be able to find some redeemable quality in me. Kimi had seen something once. I wondered if it was still there.
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
If she could let bygones be bygones and forget everything else, then maybe there was still a chance that things could work out. I knew I couldn't do such a thing, but then again, she was clearly a much better person than me. I vaguely wondered if she actually hated me beneath it all. She had every right to. Part of me hoped that she missed me as much as I missed her. I doubted that, but it would have been comforting to know.
The flight passed by at an agonizingly slow pace. It was long and boring. I was left alone to my torturous thoughts with nothing to distract me. The fat, balding man next to me was snoring loudly, and a baby was crying a few rows ahead. Normally, this would have bothered me, but I was too wrapped up in my own troubles to give either passenger a second thought. In fact, they were almost a relieving distraction, particularly the baby. At least someone was more miserable than me.
Sleep fogged my mind at some point, and I woke later with a very stiff neck. Coach sure was uncomfortable. I yawned and stretched as best I could. A female flight attendant approached me and asked if I wanted anything. I just ordered water and stared out the window at the dark sky. There was nothing but darkness out there.
"Black, like my soul," I thought darkly.
I looked up when the woman returned and accepted the drink with a nod of thanks. I sipped the cold water and let my mind return to mercilessly attacking my heart. There was no escaping it. I hated myself. I hated everything about me. To my surprise, I found myself almost wanting Kimi to feel the same way, that way it would be justified. I stared listlessly at the ice cubes floating around in the plastic cup. Would this whole trip be for nothing? It would only be fair.
No! I shook my head. I couldn't give up, not yet! It wasn't over until Kimi flat out dumped me for being the asshole I was!
"But she's already done that, hasn't she?" I murmured.
"Hm? Did you say something?" asked the now-awake man next to me.
"No, it was nothing," I replied and returned my gaze to the dark, soulless night.
Finally, after a few more cruel, dragged-out hours, we arrived in the Los Angeles airport. When we were finally given the pilot's parting message, I jumped up and shoved everyone out of my way, determined not to lose any more time. I charged into the terminal and wildly looked around for one small girl in a crowd of thousands. A sense of futility welled up inside me, but I forced it down along with the painful lump in my throat. I couldn't lose her...I couldn't...not again...
I gritted my teeth and grabbed my phone, determined to try to call her once more. I looked at the screen and swore. Of course I didn't have a signal in America! Damn it all! I sank down into the nearest chair and buried my face in the palms of my hands. It really looked hopeless now. She could be anywhere. I didn't have a clue where she was going, or what she was planning to do. There were too many people! I'd never find her!
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, prepared to snap at whoever was touching me, but my angry words quickly died. I couldn't believe it! It was her.
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shed, but I'm me
I fell to my knees on the ground and bowed as low as I could.
"Kimi, I'm so, so sorry!" I cried, "I'm sorry."
I tried to continue, but choked. I wanted to say something more. One question in particular was burning away inside my chest. I needed to know if she'd ever consider letting me come back. Waiting for her to say something was almost unbearable. The silence was crushing my broken, bleeding heart. I felt like I was taking a massive beating, one I definitely deserved.
"Hikaru..." she said softly, "Stand up, you're making a scene."
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
Attempting to keep the pain from showing on my face, I stood up and tried to look her in the eyes. She didn't look angry. In fact, she looked like she was going to cry. I winced and hung my head.
"Damn it," I sighed, "I'm making you cry again."
To my surprise, Kimi laughed. Suddenly, she threw her arms around me and pulled me into a warm hug. My eyes widened in shock. What was she thinking?
"Did you really follow me all the way here?" she asked when she pulled away with a bright smile.
"I love you!" I blurted.
Blushing, I looked away. I didn't have the courage to watch her reaction after all.
"I love you too," she replied softly.
I gasped and faced her again, "Seriously?"
"Why the tone of surprise?" she frowned.
"I've been a complete asshole to you," I replied, "I...I'm not worth your time."
"Don't be stupid!" she snapped.
I bit my lip. She was angry at me again. I really couldn't make her happy, could I?
"Hikaru," she sighed, "Nobody's perfect. Everybody hurts someone they care about in some way."
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
I pulled her to my chest and hugged her as tightly as I could, trying not to cry.
"Kimi," I mumbled into her hair, "will you marry me? For real, this time!"
"Did you call Haruhi?" she asked.
"That would be the first thing you ask," I sighed, "and yes, I called her."
"Good," Kimi said, "then yes, Hikaru, I will marry you."
I pulled away from her and smiled for what felt like the first time in ages.
"Thank God," I sighed, and rested my head on her shoulder, hugging her again, "I was so scared you'd hate me."
"Sometimes I wish I could," she whispered, "but I'm glad I don't."
"I'm glad you don't too."
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
We left the airport with an awkward silence between us. I shyly held her hand and debated how I should ask the question that was gnawing at me. So, what now? I never thought past trying to talk to Kimi again. I never thought it would actually turn out well. At all.
"Hikaru," Kimi said, giving me a concerned look, "are you okay?"
"I...I was just thinking..." I replied.
"What about?"
"What do you want to do?"
"Well, I'm kind of hungry..."
I laughed. Kimi would say something like that.
"I mean with the rest of our lives. Do you...do you even want to go back to Japan? We could stay here, if you want."
"Of course I want to go back to Japan!" Kimi smiled. "It's our home, after all! I just came here to take a break."
I smiled softly.
"Okay, let's get you some food. Then we can get a hotel or something. Whatever you want!"
She grinned back and nodded.
Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
We spent a month in America. Kaoru was mad at first, but I explained everything. He seemed surprised at first, but laughed, congratulated me, and promised to make me work double-time when I got back. I was okay with it. Things got a lot better between us. It was still kind of awkward at times, but I was determined not to mess up this time. I couldn't afford to lose her again.
Once we got back to Japan, though, it was a different story entirely. A lot of my old problems came back to haunt me, mostly in the form of Tamaki. Even though I didn't hate him as much as I used to, the mere mention of him still left a bitter taste in my mouth. Haruhi had apparently told him that I'd called, and the bastard was now trying to make amends. Apparently, fighting had been really hard on him too. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I'd missed the idiot a little bit too.
Even though I swore I wouldn't do it again, I still caught myself taking my confusion out on Kimi. Every time, I would go back and apologize, but I doubted that it was enough. She would always just smile and tell me that she didn't expect perfection, she was just happy that I was trying. Honestly, that woman. I didn't know how she could be so strong. I wanted to be like her some day. She'd saved me from myself.
Kimi was truly remarkable. She the kind of person people like me tended to take advantage of. Yet she still managed to smile and tell me that it would be okay. I could never understand how I could mistreat her. I was determined to stop, especially with the wedding so close. Kimi never seemed to resent me for anything since we made up, but she was good at hiding things.
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
I was really nervous as I tried not to fidget too much. There were hundreds of eyes watching me closely as I glanced at Kaoru for reassurance. I gulped and looked back out at the mass of people. Tamaki grinned and gave me a thumbs-up. I'd finally decided that I should invite Tono and Haruhi. Kimi was happy to hear that, though she assured me that she wouldn't be upset if they weren't there. I knew that she was glad to see me mend our broken relationship piece-by-piece. She was always encouraging. Unfortunately, she wasn't there to tell me that everything would be okay at that very moment. In fact, her absence was the reason I had butterflies in my stomach. I was waiting for her to finally through the church's double doors in her snow-white dress and walk to the altar. Dammit, what was taking so long?
Finally, the doors opened a crack. My heart skipped a beat as I strained my eyes to see her. At an agonizingly slow pace, the wooden barriers swung open to reveal the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Kimi blushed beneath her veil and smiled softly as she slowly walked up the aisle, her arm linked with her older brother's. She didn't go into detail, but I got the impression that she and her father were not on very good terms. Suddenly, her eyes met mine, and everything seemed to melt away. It was just the two of us. Nothing could possibly ruin this day. All at once, I realized that she was right in front of me and staring expectantly. Blushing and feeling like an idiot, I quickly took her hand as her brother passed her off to me.
We turned toward the priest and waited for the ceremony to begin. It seemed like an eternity before he finally got to the "I do's". On cue, we turned to each other, both smiling.
"Here's to our new future," I murmured softly as I leaned down to kiss her, "let's forget about the past, ne?"
"Yes," she whispered in reply, "Let's focus on our lives now and leave out all the rest."
I pressed my lips to hers and pulled her close. I never wanted to let her go again.
Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are