Title: Clementines
Rating: T (just for the language, to be safe)
Pairing: Implied KakaIru. Nothing nosebleed-worthy, though. (damn!)
Warnings: (Implied) yaoi, which means BOY x BOY, and a tad bit of language. And a scary, pissed Iruka. -children cry-
Excuse: Ah, I have none. So there. -gets hit with tomato-
Disclaimer: Didn't. Don't. Won't. Until that mind-control device I bought off of E-bay starts working. -bangs it with a hammer-
Just a random little drabble thing. Christmas is coming up, and my grandma gave me a huge bag of clementines...sacred things, they are! -my preciousss-
x x x x x Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my DARLIN' clementine... x x x x x
Sneak.
Look.
"Kai!"
OK, coast clear.
Kakashi snuck quietly across the room, with the utmost care, for this was a mission he couldn't mess up. Too much was on the line.
Another quick check, and he flicked the lights on. He was close now. Almost there, he thought.
This mission was one of his more risky ones - at least an A-rank. If Kakashi were to be caught, it would mean dire concequences for the Copy-nin: torture, even death.
His heart racing, Kakashi quickly darted across the floor, rapidly closing the distance to the target. 5 meters, 3, 1 more..
Ah, luck was with him today! And how lucky he was, Kakashi reflected, as he opened the refrigerator and grabbed his prize. All his hard work was about to pay off!
With trembling hands, Kakashi dug into the rough skin of the object, peeled it off and threw it in the trash, to be burned as soon as he was done. After all, any traces of evidance had to be destroyed. That was the shinobi way. But first things first...
Chomp!
Ah, heaven on Earth! Bliss! Wonder!
Kakashi grinned as he ate another slice of the clementine, licking the juice off his fingers. If only it was 'Ruka, swirling his tongue around, sucking just hard enough..but no. That would mean being caught. And no one, NO ONE, ate Iruka's clementines.
Unless they were stupid. Or over-confident to the point of being stupid. Kakashi was probably both.
But for now, the blissfully unaware scarecrow stood, in the middle of his and Iruka's shared kitchen, eating Iruka's LAST clementine. Alas, nothing good in life lasts forever ...(you run out of clementines eventually). And today was no exception. For, unknown to Kakashi, the front door had opened, for Iruka had come home for lunch early because Kakashi had been just TOO DAMN NICE this morning and..
"Kakashi."
And, who knew such a short word could hold so many volumes and promises of pain?
"Eh?..!"
In a respectable but ultimately futile try for innocence, Kakashi stuffed the last of the clementine into his mouth, and turned around to give Iruka his best welcome-home-I-didn't-know-that-you-would-come-so-early-but-I-definately-WASN'T-eating-your-clementines face. But Iruka wasn't buying it.
Especially not when the clementine juice ran down Kakashi's chin. No, even Kakashi knew he was screwed then. But, dammit, he wasn't a Konoha shinobi for nothing! He could calmly and rationally talk his way out of this. He took a deep breath and started to explain himself..
"Mmph! Mm mph mmh mph, mmph m mmp!"
Oh. Right. Kakashi, as Iruka slowly stalked closer and closer, decided to remember to swallow before he talked next time. If there was going to be a next time. And from one look at Iruka's face, which was bordering on Orochimaru-craziness and Itachi-Sharingan-evilness, there was probably not going to be.
"KA. KA. SHIIIII!"
..Ah, hell hath no fury like a dolphin without clementines.
x x x x x ...You are lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry, Clementine. x x x x x
OK, OK, slightly strange..but really! It's Christmas (season, at least) and I just couldn't help myself. Ah well, hope I didn't scar you too bad. -looks only slightly sheepish-
Read and review! Ja ne!