The world, his world was crumbling around him. His rock, his confident was undergoing a hell never before experienced by either of them and Dean was scared stiff for his little Sammy. Not only that, but once again, the fate of the world weighed heavily on their shoulders, but this time Dean didn't have the luxury of carrying it all for his little brother.
Sam had decided to take on the trials and Dean was forced to sit back and join the sidelines on this one. He had no one to turn to, as Cas wasn't exactly team Winchester these days. Cas... where was he anyways? What could he be up to? For the third time that night, Dean prayed for Castiel to keep his ears on and provide protection for Sammy, but he had already asked that of him and never got the answer he was hoping for. Or any answer for that matter.
No, this time he was praying (though he would never admit it to himself) out of desperate need of comfort for himself. "Cas...? I know you're out there..." He squinted one eye closed while the other flicked around the empty bunker with anticipation. "I need you to hear this...I need..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath then released it through his nose. "I need you here with me man...Sammy is in pretty bad shape and everyone else is gone..." Dean took a shuddering intake of breath as he ran a list of names through his head. Mom, Dad, Bobby, Joe ,Ellen, Adam, Chuck, Samuel, Gwen, Benny... The list seemed to stretch on forever as he checked each one off with a stab of pain in the front of his mind. He shook his head to clear it.
"Anyway what i'm trying to say is that I miss you Cas and I could really use your help right now." He looked around the room with his eyes half way parted, half hoping that he would hear the familiar rush of wings and find Cas staring at him with those intense blue eyes behind him like the friggin creeper he was, and half knowing that he wouldn't show.
Darkness permeated every corridor of the bunker and Dean's room was no exception. He grimaced as he pulled the grey blankets over his shoulder and turned on his side curling into a ball; the proud hunter remembering his early nights when the dark seemed to seep into his mind and engulf him in terror. That was of course, before he became the rugged, prideful, smart-alec hunter that he was today. But now in his utter loneliness, his innocent childhood fears crawled their way back into his bedroom at night, stealing away precious hours reserved for rest.
Dean was shaken out of his emotional torment by the sound of one of Sam's chest rattling coughs. Poor kid must be miserable. He contemplated checking on him with a glass of water and a wastebasket,but these weapons proved useless against the mighty wrath of the trial sickness. Yes that's what he would call it from now on. "Trial sickness..." He sneered and shuffled back down into his pillow.
"Good name choice." Deans eyes flashed open and he jolted upright in his bed. "Cas!?" He exclaimed in a loud whisper. "Yes, Dean. Hello." Cas pointed at a safety light in the corner of the room and it came to life, bringing a soft blue to settle over the room. "Whats the matter with you Cas? Showing up randomly in the middle of the night NOW, after- how many times exactly have I prayed to you for help now?" Cas sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, contemplating how he was to explain his whereabouts without Naomi butting her annoying bitchy head in again.
Dean rubbed his eyes and stared at him imploringly. When Cas didn't have an answer Dean mumbled something akin to "unfriggenbelieveable..." And ran a hand through his messy hair. Cas frowned and turned his gaze down to the floor. "Well, there must be some good reason that you flew your feathery ass down here in the middle of the night to wake me up?"
Cas gave a tiny grin at Dean's strange speech patterns. "You weren't asleep, Dean," He waved his hand at him before he could protest. "And well yes there is a reason." Dean raised an eyebrow and made a sweeping gesture with his hands implying that Cas should continue. "And?" Cas swallowed, he wasn't accustom to expressing emotions and he found it particularly harder when it came to Dean. "How strange." Cas mused and grinned sheepishly at Dean's t-shirt, noticing how it clung tightly to his frame.
Dean felt an inexplicable rush heat as he noticed the angel eyeballing him and swore under his breath in confusion. Cas broke the silence. " I want to get something straight first,Why did you pray to me Dean?" Dean blinked hard. Wasn't it obvious? For Sammy's safety! He swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in his throat. And maybe... He violently shook his head.
"For Sam." Cas toyed with the threading coming loose on the Dean's blanket. "I see..." Dean could feel his heart rate quickening and his hand twitched away from his body. What the hell is going on? There was a silence that lasted for what seemed like an eternity as Dean began racing through his thoughts, trying to convince himself of why he had called Cas most recently. "Dean...?" His head snapped up as he tryied desperately to control the burning heat that was rising steadily into his cheeks. Why was this happening!?
Cas looked at him with emotion filled eyes that bore into Dean's skull and suddenly he could take the tension no longer. Biting his lip, he yanked Cas forward to touch their foreheads together drawing out both of their breaths in an instant. Cas froze but didn't pull away as Dean ran his fingers through Cas' hair and slowly explored his neck and collar bone before gently tilting his head to the side and pressing his lips into Cas's.
Castiel's mouth was hard as stone and at first Dean thought with panicked terror that he had made a terrible mistake. But after registering what had just happened, Cas grabbed Dean's shoulders before he could pull away and deepened the kiss. He didn't know why he went through with it but Dean suddenly felt lighter than he had in years, all of his worries and traumas slipping away into a dark chasm in the depths of his mind.
As they pulled away they held onto each other, each a fistful of the other's shirt as they sat panting in the glow of the safe light. "...awesome." Dean breathed shutting his eyes to savor the memory. He felt safe, happy, secure. He didn't care Cas was a guy, or freaking badass angel, he meant so much more to him. Dean didn't want to let this be yet another fleeting lets-never-talk-about-this-ever-again thing. He wanted to make it last and to make it count. And that's just what he did.
He waited for any signs of protest from Cas before holding his face and kissing him forcefully, eyes slammed shut with emotion and concentration. Cas returned the kiss more shyly at first but as Dean slipped his tongue in he gave it his all. "Dean..." Cas whispered in a trembling, needy voice. How would he explain THIS to Naomi? How would he justify having intimate contact with the man he was trained strictly to kill? When Dean grabbed his wrists and pinned him down onto the bed with his tongue still in his mouth he realized that he didn't care.
All thoughts washed clean of responsibility for the first time in a long time, Dean ran his fingers along Cas' torso and whispered: "Wanna go farther?" Cas nodded with a greedy 'yes' and allowed Dean to run his hands up his shirt and drag his tongue along his collarbone. "Mmm..." Cas' body responded and he slowly began to understand Dean's insatiable craving for this kind of thing. He tugged off Dean's shirt and ran his hands over his silky,muscular chest and he surprised himself when he nipped at Dean's torso, inflicting a quiet moan from Dean. Dean kissed Cas slowly, rocking into him while unbuttoning his thin white shirt and pealing it off. Soon they were a groaning mess of tangled sheets and bodies fighting for dominance on the small bunker bed.
Afterwards Cas' didnt break Dean's heart as he first expected him to by disappearing to who knows where doing who knows what. Instead he found himself grinning stupidly, but contentedly while combing his hands through his angel's hair as he rested his head on Dean's gently rising and falling chest. "Thanks Cas." Dean murmured as his eyelids drooped closed and his breathing slowed, nudging him into a rare peaceful slumber with Castiel wrapped tightly into his arms. Cas nodded and snuggled himself closer into Dean's chest. " Sorry I took so long to answer you Dean." He replied guiltily. But Dean already knew that, for he was fast asleep pressed up against his warm protector.