Sacrifices
by Bren Ren
Category: Point of View, Missing Scene/Episode Tag, Angst
Related Episode: The Lost City (Part 1); may be random spoilers for everything through all of season seven!
Featured Characters: Jack O'Neill, Samantha Carter
Pairings: Jack/Sam, naturally!
Summary: I finished the unfinished conversation from The Lost City (part 1)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be. I just like to play with them. MGM and co. owns them. Not done for profit, only an attempt to exorcise an obsession.
Author's Note: The personal events in Sam's life during Chimera never happened. There is no "other" in her life. Not in my Sam&Jack Universe!
"Even if we do find the Lost City. Even if we get there and find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet..."
"THAT would be worth it."
"And if we don't? If we don't find the Lost City, if we don't find what we need to defend the planet… Is that chance worth it?"
"That chance is exactly why we're here. It's that chance we take every time we step through the Gate. We take that risk every time we go out there. We make the big sacrifices so that we can protect this planet from those damned snakes while the rest of the world continues to spin obliviously through the galaxy. That's what we do, who we are."
Sam couldn't think of anything to say in response. He was absolutely right. They risked their lives everytime they went through the Stargate, all on hope that they would find what they needed to defend the Earth. And it was a risk, a sacrifice they took willingly. And yet…
"You really believe it's worth killing yourself for the mere hope of finding…"
"Why now?"
"Excuse me?" Sam asked with a classic double take.
"Why…" he waved his hand around in the air, " why all this now?"
"Because we know this will kill you."
"I've been dead once or twice. Stings like a sonofa-"
"Sir!" For the first time since she'd arrive, she actually maintained eye contact for more than ten seconds. Suddenly there were way too may emotions threatening to burst free, and she was terrified she wouldn't be able to keep them under control much longer. She wanted to speak, to break the silence, the thickening tension, it was making her way too uncomfortable. This was dangerous ground. This was why it took her fourteen hours of driving in endless circles to muster up the courage and face him.
"It couldn't have gone down any other way. And you know I'd do it again without a second thought."
"But… we still need you, sir," she was almost pleading. Not quite… but so close…
"Sir. I got, what, maybe another 48 good hours till I go nuts and all you got is 'we'… 'sir'. Good soldier to the very end, right Carter?"
"I'm here, aren't I? Doesn't that mean something?"
"Does it?"
Another pregnant pause. Another showdown. But how do you fight a battle of wills that you not only don't want to win, but aren't even sure which side is the so-called winner.
"So why are you here?" Jack finally asked her.
Heart racing, thudding loudly in her ears, as an army of butterflies prepare for the world's wildest jello wrestling match in her stomach, Sam struggled to keep looking him in the eye. But she can't look away. For what her eyes were feasting on was a sight all too rare. Jack was watching her with unguarded eyes. Eyes full of a potent mixture of emotions: need, hope, despair, longing, and woven through it all was deep and resounding love.
Sam's eyes widened in surprise. That was why she came. She had to know. Time was running out, and she couldn't keep wondering and doubting anymore. It was time to set the record straight once and for all. She smiled softly, lighting her eyes with a warm glow. "I just needed to know… if you… you know…"
Jack smiled. "And now you know…?"
"You know, don't you?" She still looked uncertain.
"Yeah. I think so. Are we still talking about… you know…" Jack blinked in confusion.
"Yeah!" She smiled brilliantly for him.
"Yeah." Jack sat back and stared at her.
"About that…" She swallowed hard against her raging heart. "Sir… we're also almost out of time. I couldn't live with never having told you… everything I've been holding back for… for years now. Someday-maybe isn't working anymore, maybe it never did… but right now… right now I need you to know…I don't care about you more than I'm supposed to… I feel everything I'm not supposed to. I love you, Jack O'Neill. I think I always have… and I know I always will, no matter what."
"I know," he said softly. "Always have." He graced her with a look full of all the love in his heart.
Sam noticed her untouched beer and took a healthy swig. So did Jack. Then he leaned in towards her, his eyes warm and dark and almost dangerous.
Then there was a knock at the door.
"Hello?"
Jack looked over at Sam and was just about to shout at Daniel to give them a few minutes when Sam called out, "In here."
He rolled his eyes at her in mock annoyance. Sam just grinned.
"Oh… Sam, hi!" Daniel seemed caught by surprise when he saw Sam… maybe he was expecting her to be coming from the bedroom… "Are we… interrupting anything?"
"Don't I wish…"
"We should be so lucky!" Sam and Jack muttered at once. A couple of amused glances passed around between the team members. Jack finally broke the silence, asking Daniel, "What are you doing here?
"Oh we ... well it's ... it's a funny story actually. We, we, ah, were driving by and we , uh ... saw Sam's car in the driveway, and ... and ... uh .."
Jack nudged Sam's arm. "Funny." Sam almost kicked him in the shins.
Daniel, being Daniel, hardly noticed the almost silent conversation passing between Sam and Jack, and continued speaking without missing a beat. "Teal'c said to me. Well he didn't actually say anything. He just kinda looked at me and did that eyebrow raise thing that he kinda does and I said to him, I said 'hey, why don't we stop by and...'"
Jack finally spared the poor guy a little mercy and stopped him. "Is that doughnuts?
Teal'c held up the large box. "Indeed!
"Excellent!"
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Fini