Spice Over Ice

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.

Natsu sullenly watched Lucy get over a particularly bad breakup... with ice cream.

The Fire Dragon Slayer just wanted to strangle the cold, creamy food out of her hands and incinerate it, but Lucy looked like she was enjoying it too much.

If Natsu was lying to himself, he would say that he was annoyed with the ice cream just because he hated anything cold.

If Natsu was a little bit truthful with himself, he would say that he was annoyed with the ice cream because it reminded him of Gray the Stripper a little too much.

If Natsu was completely and totally honest with himself, he would say that he was annoyed with the ice cream for two main reasons. One, why the hell had Lucy been dating again? Seriously, who needs to date when you've got a partner in a guild? Two, he didn't really want the blonde to be enjoying something like Gray so much. Even though ice cream isn't exactly Gray. Whatever, close enough.

The next day, when Lucy popped into the guild, Natsu slammed down a bowl of soup so spicy that it looked radioactive in front of her. She blinked a few times as she tried to look at the blinding soup.

"Um... what's the occasion?"

Natsu snorted. "You just broke up with another guy, that's the occasion. Eat up."

Lucy seemed slightly queasy as she looked at the reflective soup. "Erm... since when have you tried to cheer me up with food? And, no offense, but this stuff's more like what you eat, not me. I don't like to destroy my taste buds."

Natsu was about to retort when Levy called out, "Hey, Lucy! I've got some ice cream if you want some!"

"Sure!" chirped Lucy, immediately scooting away from Natsu's concoction. "Ice cream for breakfast doesn't happen often, but I'm in the mood today!"

And the Fire Dragon Slayer was abandoned at a table. He seethed, lifted a fist, and smashed it down, sending his bowl of soup flying through the air to land on Macao. Natsu huffed childishly and stalked away. Levy just had to ruin his perfect plan.

The day after the soup incident, Natsu slid some flaming alcohol towards Lucy.

"Drink up!" he encouraged, grinning.

Lucy gave him a look. "You think I can drink fire?"

"Oh. Oops! One sec..." And Natsu slurped up the fire and licked his lips before grinning again. "There you go!"

"I dunno... I'm not in the mood for a drink right now," sighed Lucy, laying her head on her arms.

"Lucy, would you like to try my new ice cream? I added a little surprise in it!" said a cheery Mirajane, walking towards their end of the bar with a very small bowl of ice cream.

"Ooooh, what's the surprise?" said Lucy, immediately lifting her head up and reaching for the ice cream with an expectant face.

Mirajane winked. "Vodka!"

Lucy squealed in excitement and popped it into her mouth, right in front of a gaping Natsu.

"I LOVE IT!" Lucy's voice was already a little bit louder than necessary from the alcohol.

Natsu glared at Mirajane and then stalked off.

On the third day of Christmas...

No.

On the third day of Natsu's attempts to get Lucy to eat and enjoy spicy food, he simply presented her with a pepper. A raw pepper.

"What's this?" questioned Lucy, picking it up by the stem between her thumb and middle finger. "Are you trying to poison me or something?"

"No," growled Natsu. He was starting to get impatient with Lucy's obliviousness. "It's spicy stuff! That you should eat! It's so much better than that ice cream crap you're constantly shoving in your mouth."

Lucy flared up. "Oi, I do not shove ice cream into my mouth! I delicately enjoy it!"

Natsu gave her a blank look.

Lucy sighed halfheartedly at the Dragon Slayer's lack of comprehension.

And Natsu used the momentary distraction to take the pepper and shove it into Lucy's mouth, forcing her to chew it and swallow it.

She was screaming the entire time.

Luckily, they were in her house, so it wasn't like the guild heard her scream or anything.

Well, that's what they thought until Erza's sword knocked Natsu unconscious while Gray froze him into an ice cube.

Ah, yes, the guild constantly invades Lucy's home. How could they forget.

So while Lucy desperately attempted to cool down her flaming tongue, Natsu groggily got up and grinned stupidly, happy that he had achieved his goal of getting Lucy to eat spicy food. Then, he saw her placing a spoonful of ice cream on her tongue and his expression grew dark.

When he tried to stuff another pepper into her mouth, she dumped a gallon of ice cream on his head.

And he screamed.

Loudly.

Very loudly.

Until Lucy finally took pity on him...

And knocked him out.