A/N: okay so I don't even know where the hell this came from… I know the plot is a bit…used… I guess… well more like the basic idea…. But anyway this is my first fanfic and I truly hope I'll be able to finish it and update it regularly and all that jazz… aspects of this are based on myself but just barely… oh and my computer sucks dick majorly… so fucking slow -.- so sometimes it doesn't exactly let me do anything… bleh so anyway on with the show!
Disclaimer: and of course I don't own Black Butler. I'm just the typical girl oogling at Sebastian…
"Ciel. Ciel!"
"Yeah?" I mumbled as I lifted my head to look at my adoptive mother who had just dragged me from my thoughts.
"What's up with you lately?" I gave a humorless laugh at this.
"Did you really just say that? How the hell do you know I'm not like this all the time? I've been here what? Two months? My mom just died. You realize that right?" I replied. I hate it here. Why can't it just end? I'm sick and tired of all of this… I just can't do it anymore…
"You're going to have to get over it eventually, life goes on." She stated. How can she say that like it's nothing? She still has her parents; she still has people who care about her. Life goes on? I sure wish it didn't…
I stand up from the table and glare at her before making my way to the stairs and up to my room and closing the door. I can't do this. I can't pretend I'm ok. I can't keep living like this… I can't keep living. I walk over to my desk and sit down. I turn on my iPod that's already connected to my speakers and Last Resort by Papa Roach starts to play. Oh the irony, I can't help but chuckle… I bring up my email on my computer and start a new email, selecting Claude and Alois from my address book before starting what will be the last email I ever send.
I can't keep doing this, guys… I'm not strong enough and I can't keep pretending I am… There's no one left who cares. I know you say you do but I can't help but think you would be better without me here to get in the way… But before I go I want to say a few things.
Alois- You've always been like a brother to me and I love you like the brother I never had… Bye, Bro.
Claude- Please look after Alois and make sure he doesn't get into trouble or god forbid try to join me…
Well it's time for me to go now, I hope to see you soon… Just you know not to soon… Please don't cry for me… I'm not worth it.
With all my love for the last time,
Ciel
I hit send before grabbing the pocket knife from my desk drawer and slicing into my right wrist repeatedly. I kiss the ring my mother gave me on my right hand thumb one last time.
"I'll see you soon, Mom." I whisper before everything goes black…
A/N: Okay so next chapter we'll meet Sebastian… maybe :P Ciel and Alois are 18 and still in highschool and Claude is 19. I'm not sure how old to make Sebastian… ok so this was more to set up the story… it will get pretty hot (I hope, I've never written boy on boy before…) please leave me a review telling what you think!