Frostbite
A/N: I was inspired by Flora's boss conversations with Jakob in Fire Emblem Fates. It was so tragic... especially considering that she has no supports with him period!
Thank you for choosing this story to read!
It takes months, but eventually, her father finally turns to her and nods, face already more lined and grim from the tides of war. She has no doubt that her own face will reflect his by the time this war is over: King Garon has done naught but thrown relentless attack after attack at their tribe, striking even during great holidays, where the times to place down arms and hold hands in brotherhood – even if temporary – are nigh. But now, it seems, Nohr's forces are pulling back, retreating, back to the capital, where no doubt His Royal Highness will prepare to launch yet another attack, perhaps even more terrible than before.
But she knows her father and her tribe well: they are the warriors of ice, mightier than glaciers, so deeply connected to their wind and their land that they may as well be spirits. No matter how strong the attack King Garon launches against them, they will endure; if they endure long enough, perhaps the white winds around them will fall upon the Nohrian army and swallow it whole. If that happened, all would be well, and it would merely take the work of Lady Corrin and her small army from there. But of course, that is all merely wishful thinking.
Her father understands that she must do her part, and it is with barely a word he lets her go, the one memento she has of him being the gentle touch of his palm against her head. He says nothing, does nothing, other than nod, and after he turns away, she is gone, fleeing into the ice cold night. In spite of herself, she clutches her brooch close – a memento of an ice cold tribe and an even colder father, whose eyes only lit up for the warrior her sister had become.
Lilith meets her on the outskirts of the village, staring up at her with large, orb-like eyes. She keeps a cool expression upon her face, despite the storm in her heart, and smiles gently as she greets the dragon. She had been receiving updates from this tiny, yet kindly creature for so very long, and it is with great gladness that she at last follows Lilith through the portal that opens up. A great flash of light greets her, blinding her as she steps through, and for a brief moment, she falters, unable to see, feel, hear, or smell. But then, the harsh bite of the necklace in her palm, the same bite of the wind she had long grown up with wakes her, and she takes one step forward. Then another. Then another. Again and again, until finally, finally, she steps out, into a mighty courtyard, full of laughter, life, and him.
Yes, him.
She greets Lady Corrin first, as is proper. All it takes is simple apology for intruding, an explanation as to why she's here, and a request to fight alongside her lady before Lady Corrin rushes forward and hugs her, nearly crushing her into shards. She falters again, shocked at the greeting, but soon places her hands upon her lady's back and gives a quick hug back, not wishing to seem improper. Of course, the entire time, her eyes are not on Lady Corrin, but the man standing so dutifully at the right hand of the throne.
Jakob.
Harsh, sweet Jakob.
Yes, she is home now.
It does not take long for life to fall into a sort of routine, with her assisting in all castle chores, from cooking to cleaning to forging to gathering. As is expected, her sister remains at her side, doe eyes wide and eager for all that she can learn about being the proper maid. Naturally, she is kind, always willing to show Felicia the proper way to stack the plates so they do not shatter, or how to quickly clean up the shards when they do. Of course, as seems to always be expected of Felicia, she somehow messes up even the basic cleaning of broken plates, and Flora is left to continue cleaning up after her.
The highlight of her day, of course, always comes at around teatime, when the steadfast butler would be relieved of his castle assistance duties, so that he would instead devote all of his time simply to serving his lady. He comes into the Mess Hall quickly, barking sharp orders at those preparing dinner, and already beginning to take note of the small chores he will have to do around the place so that his lady would not be inconvenienced. More than once, he would stop and correct the way someone held a knife, or taste the soup of the day. Overall, it would always be obvious from the moment he stepped in that Jakob was in charge of the place, and even if he wasn't, he would take command anyways, for no one but he knew what his lady loved best.
She is ever at his side when he enters, performing her duties at the very best of her efforts and beyond that, so that he may look upon her and give her his approval, a small appreciation of her work as a maid. She chops quickly and efficiently, every cut perfectly shaped and even, never a sliver out of place. She stacks hundreds of plates quickly, then takes them in her arms and runs over to the dining room, setting them up with such a speed and efficiency that many of the finest Hoshidan ninjas would weep. She takes cloth and water in hand and wipes down every table, every bench, even the nooks and crevices of the dining room, until they gleam brightly enough to light up all of Nohr. Once all of this is done, she stands to the side and waits, as all good maids should, for one of her fellow comrades to call her over and refill a drink or give them seconds or to tae their plates away.
Her lady admonishes her, and always beckons her to come sit with their fellow soldiers. And indeed, her sister happily joins, flitting about the tables like a butterfly, laughing here, chatting there, and once – much to Flora's shock – she touches the arm of Prince Leo himself and – as though she needed more of a reason for shock – he smiles and touches her hand back. She realizes that here, in the midst of war, the boundaries of what is proper and what is not are often shaken and blurred, but here… it is as though that line has been shattered, with royals eating among commoners and Hoshidans among Nohrians. It is jarring, to say the least, though not entirely unwelcome. Perhaps it is simply because she has been gone for so long that the others are used to this, but not she.
Unlike her sister, however, Jakob seems to know what proper form is. From her position at the side of the Mess Hall, she can clearly see where he stands: always at Lady Corrin's right, making sure that her glass is never empty and that no bug or hair strays near her plate. Every so often, Lady Corrin would look over her shoulder, tuck her long hair behind one ear, and smile up at him, and he would smile back, as any good butler would. It means nothing, she tells herself, because the bond between Lady Corrin and Jakob will always be just that: master and servant, princess and retainer. Even in war, where the lines of comrades are blurred, that shall always remain clear.
Still, she stands and watches them all night, trying her best to ignore the fire burning in her ice cold heart.
She is out gathering water from the lapis lazuli spring when they arrive, stepping out of the portal so casually that if it were not for the blood still dripping from her lady's Yato, she would think they were merely coming back from a shopping trip in the outrealms. Ah, but of course, there is plenty of blood and injuries to be had all around, and it is without a pause that she hefts her bucket up and runs over, ready to clean up whatever mess the small army had brought with them.
"Mama, who's that?" a tiny voice asks, and for the first time, she notices the boy clinging to her lady's cape. He is a rather adorable little thing, a small speck of youth and innocence in the midst of war. Simply looking at his face, she can see Lady Corrin all over the shape of his eyes, the gentle slope of his nose, and even the tiny point of his chin. There is something else about him as well, a quality that he no doubt received from his father – whoever he was. Despite this, she cannot quite place her finger on what looks so familiar, but if she had to hasten a guess, it was likely the shape of his ears.
"Hello Flora," her lady says, and when she smiles, her smile is that of her son. "How are you?"
She smiles back to her lady and bobs a gentle curtsy before realizing that the boy seems to have a cut on his cheek. Tutting in a way that any good maid would, she kneels before him with a cotton cloth, already beginning to dab the dried blood away. "I am quite fine, milady." Her words are short, yet gentle, and though the boy squirms a bit under her touch, Lady Corrin's hand upon his shoulder keeps him steady. "But who is this ray of sunshine?"
She feels the warmth of Lady Corrins smile on her shoulders, the hand on the boy's own shoulder squeezing it gently. "This is my son, Kana. Kana, this is my maid, Flora. What do you do when Mama introduces someone new to you?"
Kana straightens immediately and pushes out one small hand, knocking Flora's own out of the way of his face. He smiles at her despite this and even gives a short, well-practiced bow, careful not to knock his head against hers. "It's very nice to meet you, Miss Flora!"
She smiles a little bit more as she takes the boy's hand, her own slim one nearly engulfing it whole. The skin is soft, as any little boy's should be, yet slightly chafed, obviously from work and play. If what she had heard correctly was right, this boy was a child raised in the outrealms, away from the horrors and spoils of war. She had already met quite a few children, surprised to find them not much younger than their parents, but she accepted it nonetheless, for a maid was not to question too much. Still, the fact that this child was so young meant that he was only recently born – and the fact he was here meant that either his outrealm was lost or Lady Corrin had taken leave of her senses.
Of course, she is too polite, too dutiful for such questions, and it is with nary another word that she finishes cleaning Kana up before taking up her staff and moving on to healing the rest of the army. Here and there, she receives a word of thanks, and she takes each with a small nod and bob of a curtsy. A maid, after all, is here to serve, and she lives to do so. Even her sister, Felicia, has joined in on the healing, but of course, constantly drops the medical supplies. In spite of herself, she wrinkles her nose as her clumsy sister scrambles after rolls of bandages and bottles of disinfectant. One of these days, she would learn.
As usual, she does nothing to assist Lady Corrin, as that has always been Jakob's job; the last time she healed her lady, Jakob swooped in immediately afterwards, double and triple-checking her work. He had seemed quite irritated that day as well, and it was without a complaint that Flora stepped back and allowed him to heal Lady Corrin every single time she needed healing since then, never wishing to step on his toes and – secretly – cherishing the expression on his face as he worked.
It is rare to see Jakob smile the way he does when he is not asserting his superiority as a butler or simply following decorum, but if one wanted to catch him off-guard – to see the sort of smile that would appear on his face if he were a less severe man – one only needed to watch him as he served Lady Corrin. And what a smile it is: gone are the frivolities and formality, the smugness and courteousness, replaced with only genuine rapture and happiness. Here is when his lips are set in a gentle, upward slope, where his eyes twinkle and his face takes on a beautiful, silvery glow. Everything about him in that moment, from the movement of his hands to the rise and fall of his chest, lives simply to serve.
Oh, what she would give simply to have him smile at her the same way.
"Isn't Kana the cutest?" her sister asks as she gathers the last of the runaway bandages and deposits them into the waiting basket. Flora answers her with a simple hum, taking up the basket so that her sister will not drop it again and walking with it towards the convoy. As usual, her sister follows, running her mouth as no maid should, obviously still winded and exhilarated from battle.
"You should have seen him, Flora! He can turn into a dragon, just like Lady Corrin! We had to fight off so many enemies just to protect him, and at one point, we captured these two really strange bandit twins, and-"
But she hears none of that. Instead, she stops at the convoy and places the bandages away, her wandering eye fixing upon the silver of Jakob's hair while he carries Lady Corrin to her room, as any good servant should.
"Lady Corrin, I present to you the Hill of Wishes."
"Amazing… It's just like you said. There are little pieces of paper everywhere."
"Yes."
They are standing in a field in Nohr, far away from any city or town. Though King Garon and King Anankos hunt relentlessly for her lady's head, it had been Lady Corrin's wish to visit this hill, and – as any good maid should – she fulfills her wish with very little protest. The Hill of Wishes was a secret to many in Nohr, and because of that, she knows that even if a wandering farmer or wayward villager were to see them, they would be hard-pressed to know who they are. Jakob, bless him, provides them with cloaks as disguise, and though he wishes to come along as well, Lady Corrin instead orders him to tend to the horses, laughter in her eyes.
She does notice that, as he said goodbye to them, Jakob does grasp Lady Corrin's hands and squeeze them. It is quite unlike him to break decorum like that, but perhaps like her sister, even the perfect butler could fall for the blurred lines between royals and servants, Nohrians and Hoshidans. She wishes she can reprimand him, but to do so would be out of protocol, and honestly, if her sister can touch a royal's arm, then Jakob may touch a royal's hands. But Flora, as ever, shall be the dutiful one; perhaps the other two will follow her lead and perhaps – more importantly – Jakob would take notice.
"So, remind me again. How are you supposed to make your wish?"
She smiles as she gestures to the hill, where already bits of paper are strung up upon tree branches, messy scrawl all over them. "First, you write it down on a piece of paper. Then you fold it up and tie it to a string. If you do this on three different days, they say your wish will come true."
Her lady's eyes light up as she looks upon the sight, and for a moment, Flora is very much reminded of Kana. "So cool!"
"Yes… but I think we should take such things with a sizable dose of salt," she replies, practical as ever. What good would wishing do, if nothing would come out of it? She had visited this hill so many times, made so many wishes – the same wish, over and over- and yet-
"Oh, no, you misunderstood me," Lady Corrin says, that spark never leaving her eye. "I wasn't talking about the wishes. It just struck me how impressive it is that you know so many things. I can ask you practically any question and you always have the answer!"
"Oh?" she feels her face heating up a little bit, silently praying that the redness stays out of her cheeks. "I don't know about that. I just try to prepare before we set out somewhere. It is, after all, my job to assist you in all things. That includes learning about places you wish to visit."
"All the same…" Lady Corrin folds her hands in front of her and gives a short bow, causing Flora's eyes to widen in surprise. No lady is to bow to her maid, no matter how close they are. Is this a Hoshidan custom? What have they done to her lady? "Thank you very much."
Recovering quickly from her earlier shock, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out paper and string, holding them out to her lady. "Please. It's my pleasure. Now, I brought some paper and string with us…"
Lady Corrin's smile is bright enough to light up the entire hill. "Oh! Yes, thank you."
She stands alone atop the Hill of Wishes, grasping a small paper in her hands. This is the third time that she has been here, meaning that once she strings this up, her wish will come true. Already, she can feel the hole in her heart growing a little bit more; her happiness, for the happiness of another. Is that not what her duty is? Despite that, she numbly walks over and reaches up to hang her paper, hating her duty, hating this world, and above all, hating her own happiness.
"Flora? What are you doing here?"
She whirls immediately, hand flying to the dagger at her belt, only to relax as soon as she sees who it is. Lady Corrin stands behind her, lovely white hair flowing in the breeze, clad in nothing but a simple white nightgown. She purses her lips as she drops her hand from her dagger, heart still hammering from just how close she was to running a knife through her lady's breast.
"Lady Corrin? Why- What are you-"
"I heard you sneaking out, so I got curious and decided to see where you were going," the look Lady Corrin gives her is a rather guilty one, like a child being caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "I never thought you'd be coming all the way out to the Hill of Wishes though. I guess you had a wish for the hill after all?"
She looks down at the paper still clutched in her hand, a fluttering reminder of what she had come here for. How undignified, to be caught so easily? Jakob would never stand for this.
Jakob…
"Yes, I suppose I have," she admits, the shame lacing her voice bubbling to the surface. "I came each morning before we visited anyway, so I figured there was no harm."
Confusion flits across her lady's face. "Huh? You did?"
"Yes," she folds the paper and hides it in her hand, face as severely hardened as ever. "I needed to survey the area and route to ensure they were both safe. Traps, terrain, criminal elements – I had to confirm none of these would endanger you."
"I never knew you went thorugh all that just for me…" Lady Corrin's eyes are wide, her face filled with worry. It truly breaks her heart to see her lady in such a state, no matter how shameful she feels.
"Please, don't be upset," her voice comes out softer than usual, though her heart remains as cold as ever. "It is my duty. That's all."
There is silence for a few moments as Lady Corrin absorbs her words and as she gazes at the papers fluttering in the breeze. How many of these papers were written by girls as lovesick as she? Girls who poured their hopes and dreams into these papers, who hung them up with joy and hope in their hearts, hoping to catch the eye of the boy they had been pining after for so long. To think that she is among these girls shames her, and unconsciously, she crunches the paper in her hand.
For shame.
"So… what do you wish for?" Lady Corrin's question is simple, innocent, as though it were Kana asking this, not she. At this, Flora is taken aback.
"Ah… this is embarrassing…" nonetheless, she holds out the crumpled paper for her lady to see. "But here. This is my wish paper. It says that I wish for your wish to come true, Lady Corrin."
It is now her lady's turn to be taken aback, and indeed she is, as her eyes widen with the same child-like wonder the army loved so much, grasping the paper in her hands. "Oh Flora…" she lifts one hand to her heart, smile widening as she reads. "You really do too much for me. But thank you. I just wish you'd think about your own happiness sometimes too."
"There's no need for you to feel that way," she says as she takes the paper back, tucking it into the pocket of her apron. "I am perfectly all right as I am, milady."
That was a lie. She knows it is a lie. She has sacrificed so much already for the happiness of another: her life, her dignity, her love… her love. She wishes only for his arms around her, for his smile upon her face and for his lips on hers. How do they feel? Sweet, like the desserts he makes? Smooth, like the sheets he washes? Gentle like the calm after a winter's storm?
She wishes more than anything to throw her arms around him. To lift herself up to his height and have him hold her around her waist, with those same strong, steady hands that so well handle plates. She wishes to walk hand in hand with him across the outrealms, across time, across the very world they live in. That is her happiness. That is what she needs.
But that is not something she can ever have.
"I thought you'd say that… but I think happiness might still find a way for you."
"Hm?" Lady Corrin's words shake her from her thoughts, and for a brief moment, a tiny bubble rises within her.
"Because my wish was for you to live a happy life."
What?
"Huh!?"
Lady Corrin is grinning now, showing the tiny bit of mischief that Flora knows she carries with her. It is the mischief of Lady Elise, the playfulness of Lady Camilla. It is a genuine, warming smile, and for a brief moment, she can feel the ice of her heart melt.
"And since your wish is that my wish would come true, you're doubly insured!"
"Oh… Lady Corrin. Why would you waste your wish on me?"
"It wasn't a waste, Flora," her lady says as she steps forward and gives her shoulders a squeeze. Flora nearly yelps in surprise, not at all used to such contact from anyone, let alone her lady. Have the lines between master and servant blurred so much? What will Jakob say? "You've done so much for me over the years. I want to pay you back for that somehow."
"Lady Corrin-"
"Now, let's our wish to the string. Shall we?"
"Yes, of course… Thank you so much, milady."
Lady Corrin's laughter is genuine as well, airy and bright. In spite of herself, Flora finds herself smiling, realizing that Lady Corrin supports it – supports her. Lady Corrin wishes her to have happiness, and as a maid, it is her duty to ensure that Lady Corrin's wishes are followed.
When she wakes up the next day, the first thing she does is place on a new maid cap and tie new ribbons into her hair. For jewelry, she chooses only her simple brooch, the same one she carried with her as she all but fled from her father and tribe to join this army. Once she is done dressing, she checks herself in the mirror twice – three times – four times, before she deems herself perfect and exits her room.
Today, she will speak to Jakob and tell him once and for all.
She sees a portal open not far from the ruby mine and stops briefly, folding her hands in front of her as any good maid should. Already, Felicia is running over with a basket of bandages and a few staves, obviously prepared to heal when needed. Lady Corrin, as usual, is the first to step out of the portal, hair a mess, sword sheathed. Kana travels not far behind, eagerly chattering on about this or that. Briefly, she hears the mention of an unfamiliar name: Dwyer.
Ah. Yet another child was coming.
One by one, each member of the small group of soldiers exit, some nursing wounds, others with a skip in their step. Avel, that wild horse, eagerly runs through, followed by his rider and her father. He nearly tramples the wheat fields, but luckily, Lord Shigure's pegasus gets in the way, and manages to calm the beast down before all is lost. Despite this, there is plenty of laughter, and it is with a much larger, more genuine smile than normal that Flora turns to the portal as what seems like last man exits.
Jakob looks worse for wear, with doublet frayed and blood on his dagger. He looks much paler than normal, a testament to a no doubt hard-fought battle. His silver hair is plastered to his face, and no doubt, his undershirt is soaked with sweat. Without any prompting, she walks over, water and cloth in hand, ready to comfort him as any good maid – as any good lover – should.
But she is soon intercepted as a young man she has not seen before suddenly appears next to the butler, smirking a little as he shakes his head. Briefly, Flora notes that there seems to be dark circles under the man's eyes, and that his hair likely has not been brushed from this morning. Before she can begin processing what has happened, however, little Kana is running up to the two, all but launching himself at the newcomer as he wraps his tiny arms around the young man's waist.
"Dwyer! Dwyer! You're home! Isn't this great?"
The young man's smile is kind – quite reflective of Lady Corrin's smile – as he rustles Kana's hair before hugging him back. "It sure is, Kana… except for the fact that naptime has to be cut short now." His voice is soft, airy, just like Lady Corrin's laugh.
Kana puffs out his cheeks before laughing and turning to Jakob. For a brief moment, Flora considers stepping in to ask the young prince – yes, young prince – that Jakob not be bothered, for her was obviously exhausted from battle and should not be ordered to fetch something, even for one as young as Kana.
"Are you okay, Papa?"
Papa…?
Lady Corrin walks over. "Your Papa is just fine. I think he just needs a nap, don't you Jakob?"
"Well, I suppose now that you mention it-"
"Wait, why does Father get to have naptime while mine is cut short?"
Father…?
"Now Dwyer, remember what I've taught you," Jakob's smirk lights up his face as he stands, holing onto Lady Corrin for support. He sways slightly, but a hand – Lady Corrin's hand – on his back steadies him. "You must put your buttling duties above all. Besides, if you so claim to be a better butler, than I don't suppose you can fix us all a slightly less than mediocre pot of tea, can't you?"
"Oh, let it go, Jakob," Lady Corrin says, gently rapping her knuckles against the side of his head. "He can nap with us. In fact, why don't we all go talk a nice, long nap?"
"Sounds good to me," Dwyer says stretching as he takes Kana by the hand. "I need to get my buttle sleep in if I ever want to beat Father even more at his own game."
"Ha!" Jakob tosses his head as he leads Lady Corrin away towards her room, gesturing for the boys – for his children – to follow. "You'll have to do much more than nap if you ever wish to out-buttle me."
"The day I lose to you is the day you make a good cup of coffee," Dwyer counters as he follows, Kana skipping and twirling alongside him.
"Why you-"
"Let it go, Jakob," Lady Corrin leans up and presses a kiss to his cheek. And then, much to her shock, that smile breaks out: the smile she has for so long sought, the smile she holds so near and jealously dear to her heart. That smile, Flora's smile, aimed only at Lady Corrin.
His wife.
Jakob is married.
And Lady Corrin is his wife.
Flora's bucket drops to the ground as her frostbitten heart shatters into a million icy shards.
When next she sees them, it is dinner time. They have a table all to themselves, and what a beautiful, happy little family they seem to be. Lady Corrin spoon feeds Kana while Jakob and Dwyer argue over the intricacies of making the perfect coffee or tea. Every now and then, a fellow soldier would stop by their table, and they would be greeted with all the warmth and hospitality that could ever come from a family of lords and butlers.
She stands at the side and watches them, hands folded, head down, and yearning only for their happiness, as any good maid should.