Title: Discoveries Part 1/2
Sequel to: Exhaustion
By: leosimphishgrin
Spoilers: Post Episode- Abu El Banat
Pairing: Leo and Margaret AU
Rating: R (to be safe)
Disclaimers: The characters are not mine and I have not received any monetary awards for this story, they are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, and John Wells.
Feedback: It would be lovely and most appreciated.
Thanks: Many thanks to my friends and mentors and betas: chipmunk, Bev and Lee. They are a wonderful group of women dedicated to the enjoyment of all Leo stories. We can't get enough of them.
Leo's POV
Leo walks back down to the Oval Office with the President after interrupting the Bartlet family dinner, well the almost dinner. God, the look that Abbey gave him; it was so cold. There was nothing there, nothing in her eyes that showed any warmth, especially when they were directed at him. There is still so much pain and anger that is associated with the Shareef assassination and the recovery from Zoey's kidnapping, that she is still harboring. Yes, he called her to come back and deal with Jed during the government shutdown but she still wants nothing to do with him. In the past he may have even been invited to this dinner but not now, not with things the way they are.
He leaves Jed to deal with the Attorney General and enters his office and slowly sits down to think about Abbey and what he can do to fix this rift between them. Margaret is still at her desk. He can hear the clicking of her nails against the keyboard of her computer. It's after eight o'clock, and she is still here, not that this is late but she's usually the first one in and the last one out. Her hard work and loyalty have been something that he has depended on over the years but never more so than in the last couple of months. He thinks back to the night that Abbey told him that she didn't want to be around him anymore. Margaret took care of him. He hasn't forgotten that, in fact, he has had a hard time thinking of anything else. He remembers her holding him in her arms. He has realized in these few months that he wants more of that, with her. How can that be? She is years younger than him. But there is something there. I know there is for me anyway.
He's not going to get anything more done tonight. He is restless and it's time to get out of here. Back to the hotel, his home, alone. But, he doesn't want to be alone tonight. He wonders if he asks her, if Margaret will join him for dinner tonight.
"Margaret?" She appears promptly at his door with her note pad. "Come on in, close the door," he pauses once she is in his office and the doors are all closed. "Are you about ready to leave for the night?"
"Leave? Now? At this hour? Why would I be leaving now?" She asks her rapid-fire questions, while looking at him for answers, wondering if he was feeling all right.
He looks down at his desk as he organizes his briefcase, "I was wondering if you might like to have dinner with me this evening, only if you want to of course," he asks her directly. "I mean if you haven't eaten, of course. We could go out, or you could come over to the hotel and either order take out or room service. It's entirely up to you," he says, as he continues to organize things as he waits for her answer.
When she hesitates, he assumes she isn't interested and says, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. We're done for the night. Why don't you head on home? I'll see you in the morning."
Margaret's POV
Here, she is standing in Leo's office and she just heard Leo ask her to dinner. He seems nervous. I wonder what that is all about? Does he really want her to go?
"No, no… I'm sorry. Leo, do you really want to go to dinner… with me?" She asks him as she continues to watch him shuffle things on his desk. He stops for a minute and looks up at her and nods his head to tell her yes, with a shy smile.
"OK, that sounds nice. Do you have a preference? Room service is fine with me," she looks at him and he seems quiet. Something is bothering him. I can see it on his face. "Leo, do you want me to stay with you tonight?" He remains silent, he doesn't look up at her but she sees him nod his head.
Yeah, she needs to be there for him tonight. He's her Leo, and he needs her. She'll never let him down, not if she can help it. "OK, um… I have to stop at home first and grab a few things for tomorrow. Why don't you go on ahead and I'll meet you there. I shouldn't be too far behind you. Go ahead and order me anything that's good, as long as it's not red meat. You know what I like. Order something warm to drink but nothing with caffeine, it's too late at night for it."
She sees that wonderful grin appear on his face and sees that he is relieved and happy that she is coming over, "Go on, I'll be here soon, I'll take a taxi and have it wait."
Leo reaches into his pocket and opens his wallet, "Margaret, wait, Let me pay for the taxi. You're doing this for me or let my driver take you." She doesn't want to take his money, but he insists. She doesn't want his driver to take her. She doesn't really want him to come along either. She doesn't live in that great an area and he doesn't need to see that. "OK," as she shyly takes the money and goes out to shut down her office. She calls the front gate and asks them to hail a cab for her; she's on her way down now. She pops her head into Leo's office and tells him she is on her way and that she'll see him in a few minutes.
Leo's POV
Margaret, true to her word, arrives at his suite shortly after he does and knocks just as he removed his coat and tie. He ushers her in and takes her coat and hangs it with his, and places her bag near the door. "Thank you for being here tonight."
Just as he is getting them both a ginger ale from his fridge, the food arrives. Margaret looks surprised that the food is already there but Leo called in the order before he left the office tonight, to save some time. After putting on the CD player and some soft music, they enjoy a companionable meal talking comfortably about Mallory and the others from the office until she mentions the Bartlet's dinner with the girls tonight. He then gets quiet, and she looks at him wondering what is wrong. He's thankful she doesn't give into her impulses to ask him. She lets him continue eating in silence. After they finish eating and take their decaf to sit and relax in the living room area, they listen to the music, occasionally stealing glances at the other.
Leo contemplates the conversation he wants to have with her. He doesn't know where to start. God, he feels like a high school kid asking out the most popular girl in class to the prom. He looks over at her and she is so poised and confident. She is beautiful even sitting here in a pair of jeans and a simple sweater. How can he talk to her? He decides that he will just go ahead and ask her "Can I ask you something?"
She looks up in surprise, "Sure, you can ask me anything you want."
"Why are you here tonight?
"Because you asked me," she smiles at him.
"Don't you see enough of me during the day, without coming here to be with me?"
"Leo, if I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be. I enjoy your company."
He looks down not knowing whether to ask this next question or not, but he can't wait any longer. He has been thinking for months to ask her this next question.
"Can I ask you another question?" At her nod he asks her, "Do you have feelings for me…you know …more than friendship or boss?"
Margaret blushes and looks down at her hands and then takes a deep breath and looks up and turns to him and looks into his eyes, "Yes. I have cared about you for a long time."
She sees the surprised look on his face, "Oh Leo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I know this can be a problem because of our working relationship. I can go now, if this makes you uncomfortable. I'm sorry," she starts to get up.
He grabs at her hand to stop her, "No, no. I'm sorry; I put you on the spot. It's just that I've been thinking about you a lot since that night in July, when you stayed here with me." He takes a breath and looks up at her, "I think I have feelings for you too. No… I know I do."
He watches her as she looks down as her hands and sighs a breath of relief. She again looks up at him and smiles. He smiles shyly back at her; he is way out of practice with this. He hasn't dated in a long time, and he hasn't felt like this in even longer. He watches as she leans toward him and brushes her lips against his and then pulls back a little to watch for his reaction.
When he doesn't pull away, she leans in again and presses her lips firmly against his. He doesn't pull away but is hesitant to return her kiss. When she breaks the kiss, she leans her forehead against his, closes her eyes and waits for a moment. He looks into her eyes as she opens them, and he slides his hand up her arm and gently cups the back of her head, his thumb gently caressing the side of her face, as he looks over her face but mostly focusing on her lips. He smiles at her, and then he initiates the next kiss. His warm lips caress hers, as he pulls her into his arms.
Margaret's POV
She can't believe this is happening. She has wanted this for so long. She relaxes into him and opens her lips to lightly brush the tip of her tongue against his lips, gently inviting him to explore and deepen their kiss. She moans as his tongue slips into her mouth.
He is so tender and gentle, just like she always knew and dreamed he would be, her tongue playfully encounters his and then he gently sucks her tongue into his mouth and allows her to explore his mouth as he did hers. They both moan and hold on to each other as their hungry kisses continue to escalate.
They are breathless as they begin to slow their kisses until they are just holding each other. He presses a kiss into her hair, not wanting to let go of her. She can feel his heart beat echoing her own faster rhythm. She holds on to him, almost afraid to let him go. She pulls back and looks into his eyes as her hand caresses his chest.
"Wow, that was… um… unexpected… but amazing… but can we do this," she asks as she pulls back from him a little.
"Yes, it was but completely welcome and yes, we most definitely can," he says as he looks at his watch, "It's getting late; do you still want to stay?"
When she nods yes to his question, he tells her to go ahead and get changed while he puts the dinner trolley out in the hallway to be picked up and locks up for the night. Before she goes, he asks her if she has something to wear and when she says yes, he almost seems disappointed. She picks up her bag and goes into the bedroom to change and brush her teeth. She looks at the nightgown she brought along but after thinking back to the last time she stayed here and the long look he gave her in the morning as she got out of bed, she changed her mind and went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and a shirt and went into the bathroom to change.
As she comes out of the bathroom she sees him waiting for her, holding his pajamas. She smiles when she sees his eyes light up when he sees what she is wearing. She gives him a quick kiss and pushes him toward the open bathroom. She puts her bag and clothes away, and she turns down the bed and checks the time set on the alarm clock for the morning. Leo enters the room as she walks around to get into bed.
He smoothes the buttons and pulls at the sleeves as he moves to the bed.
"Leo? Do you usually wear pajamas to bed?" She cautiously asks him.
He looks a little uncomfortable as he answers her, "Well… no… not usually, but I do when Mallory stays over or if I stay in a hotel on business trips, in case one of the staff comes to the door."
She smiles but has to ask, "So what do you usually wear, or… do you wear anything at all?"
He flushes at her question, "Well, no I don't sleep in the nude, I … um… usually… I just sleep in boxers and a t-shirt."
"Well, don't let me stop you, I want you to be comfortable. You can sleep in whatever you want to, unless you are uncomfortable sleeping in your boxers in front of me. It's up to you but do what you want."
"How about a compromise," he asks as he looks up at her.
"What do you have in mind?" She smirks at him.
"How about the pajama bottoms with a t-shirt?" He walks over to the dresser and pulls out a clean t-shirt and walks over to the bed. He unbuttons the pajama top and shrugs out of it. Margaret looks at his bare chest and realizes that this is the first time she has seen his bare chest. He looks up at her and takes in her looking at him and smiles as he pulls the t-shirt over his head and proceeds to get into bed.
"You ready for lights out," he asks her as he reaches for the bedside lamp. At her consent, he turns out the light and lies down, the city lights illuminating the room a little bit as their eyes become accustomed to the darkness.
In the darkness, they both settle down, but on opposite sides of the bed. Unable to sleep she can hear his breathing and knows that he's still awake. She hears him turn on his side to face her, "Margaret?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for being here tonight."
"Thank you for asking me."
"Margaret?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you nervous about what happened tonight… you know… between us? Are you sorry it happened?"
"No, I'm not sorry at all, and nervous, at least not in the afraid sense but more in the not knowing what you want or expect me to do. I know we're not lovers yet, I'm not ready for that just yet, but I still want to be close to you, tonight."
"Can we just hold each other tonight?"
She smiles to herself and reaches a hand over to touch his shoulder as his hand reaches up and touches her hand. They both start to move closer to the middle of the bed until they she is holding him to her chest, and his arms are tight around her. She knows that something went on today, something that has him tied up in knots. He would never show his vulnerability like this otherwise.
"Leo, what happened today? " She asks him, as she strokes his back. "You don't have to tell me but something is bothering you and I think that is why you didn't want to be alone tonight. Is it related in some way to what happened the last time I stayed here? I've worried about you, especially since then. You have been under so much stress this year. You have been snapping at everyone lately, even more than your normal, everyday grumbling. You just haven't been yourself."
Leo's POV
Leo feels so comfortable in her arms, so safe and protected, and he trusts her implicitly. He listens to her questions and knows it's time to share his burden. Leo doesn't want to lie to her and it's not like it's a state secret; he knows she will keep it to herself. They have taken a big step tonight in their new relationship. It's new but it feels comfortable, like on old glove, they just fit together. They have known each other for so long, she has seen the worst of him and yet she is still here with him. She's his Margaret, and he knows she's here to stay.
"I'm not going to lose it like I did last time. I'm not going to cry, if that's what you think."
"Leo, it would be okay if you did. I'd never judge you. You hold things in too much. If something is bothering you, I want you to know that you can always be yourself with me. Anything you say will go no further. Please, just let me take care of you."
He wants to let her in, he needs to let her in and he continues to hold onto her as she holds him. He hasn't let anyone in for so long. She has been in his life for years, but this is different, this is stronger, and more personal and private, more … intimate. She has kept his secrets for years; he knows he has to talk to someone and his outlet to talk has been gone for months now. Jed and Abbey have been … distant. Not that he blames them, not with everything they have been through. So now he wants and needs a new person to let in and talk to and that person is holding him in her arms right now.
"I know I can trust you, or you wouldn't be here right now." He feels her cup the back of his head and stroke his hair, and he feels her try and protect him even more.
"I miss my friendship with Jed and Abbey. Ever since the kidnapping, nothing has been the same. First, with the President invoking the 25th amendment, then when Abbey found out about Shareef. Then in July, she told me she didn't want me in the Residence. She moved the time of her meeting with Ron Butterfield and I without informing me because she didn't want me there. I didn't even know her. I have been a friend of Jed and Abbey for over thirty years, and suddenly I'm not welcome. I've never felt so alone in my life."
"It was my fault that Zoey was kidnapped; if I had never convinced Jed to run for President or even push him to make the decision about Sheriff then it would never have happened. Jed and Abbey are having problems because of me; they have the most wonderful relationship. I have never seen anything like it before."
Leo may not want to cry, but just talking about this brings his emotions to the surface. His voice echoes his emotions, he knows she understands him and she wants to take care of him.
"I thought that in time, things would improve but tonight when I went to talk to the President about the situation with the Attorney General and the DEA's position on the mercy killings in Oregon. God… the look that Abbey gave me could freeze water. It was so cold Margaret."
He pauses for a moment, and then continues, "Do you know what Toby asked the President today? He asked him… if he had any plans for his death. If he wanted help when it comes time for him to die with dignity. God, I felt as though I were kicked in the stomach. When I think of this vibrant and brilliant man and what he will become…"
Leo loses the battle of his emotions, and the tears flow down his cheeks as he continues to talk, "He has such a strong mind but that will change. His body is going to fail him one day. I love him like a brother; I would do anything for him to not have to go through this. I'll miss him; he is my friend, and my brother. He has been part of my life for more than half of my life and the time before that, I can't even remember."
Margaret's POV
While holding Leo and letting him release his pain, she brushes gentle kisses against his brow and rubs slowly on his back soothe his pain. She's helped him open the door to the painful emotions, hoping that it would give him some stress relief. He needs a little of that in his life. Holding him and giving him a few moments to gather himself together, she feels him relax a little and continues place some small kisses on his hair.
She starts to move down and takes his face in her hands, she takes her thumbs and wipes the tears from his eyes and places a kiss on one eye and then the other, before working her way down to his mouth. She brushes her lips against his, he hesitates initially but then he responds. The first kiss lasts forever; it is a slow discovering kiss. They have the time to enjoy exploring and playing and teasing and loving. Their hands shyly feeling the other, slowly arousing the other until the kisses begin to escalate with more urgency; their tongues probing and tasting each other's mouths with passion, his hands run over her body and begin to open the buttons on his shirt that she's wearing.
In the darkness, he can barely see the outline of her breasts from the city lights but he leans in and places some feathery kisses on them, her hands are running up the front of his chest. She can feel him pull away as he tries to shield her from his arousal, but she's quite aware of his condition. His body is more than betraying his feelings right now. It's obvious he doesn't want to pressure her into something neither of them is ready for. They are just beginning to explore their feelings, it's been a while since she has been with anyone and although she's not sure about him, she thinks it's been a while for him too.
That's probably why he's so responsive tonight but…"Leo, it's okay. It's okay, but I'm sorry, I'm not prepared to go any further tonight."
He moves to pull away from her, but she stops him, "I'm sorry, I know we're not ready for anything more, that's why I was pulling away."
She's sure that if she could see him he would be embarrassed, and blushing and she doesn't want him to feel that.
"Leo, there are so many reasons why I want to make love with you but it's just… a bit soon. My body wants you and responds to you but can we just wait and get to know each other a little better, like this I mean? We know each other so well in most aspects of our lives but in a real personal sense, we need to get to know each other better. I don't want us to rush into something. We have our working relationship to consider, but I think we can handle that. But, I guess another reason is that I can't tonight physically make love… I mean… it's just the wrong time of the month… for me to… I got my… you know… today and anyway it's not happening."
She sees Leo get a worried look on his face and touch her face, "Are you feeling okay? Are you uncomfortable? Can I get you anything?"
She is so touched that he is concerned about her comfort. She smiles and insures him that she's fine, "Leo, I'm fine. I was a bit crampy earlier tonight, but I took something for it, and I'm good now. I'll be fine by tomorrow. I just didn't want you to think that I was a tease. I know you're aroused, but I just wanted to kiss you and hold you and make out a bit, but I need to you know that that's as far as we can go for a while. Is that okay with you?"
Leo nods and says, "Yeah that's fine with me. I'm just glad you're okay. We need some time to think about the future of this… do we need protection… or birth control… do we need to get tested… I guess, at the very least, we should get some condoms? We can use this time to discuss what we are going to do. Don't worry about me, I can wait until we are both ready to progress to the next stage of our relationship. I want you too, but I guess … you can tell that already," he adds shyly.
"But you're right; we shouldn't go any further, not until we take some time to see what we have here. How about we get some sleep now? We both need it. Come here and let me hold you."
Margaret is so relieved that Leo understands their need to take their time before moving to the next level of their relationship.
"Thank you, Leo. Good night," as she places a light kiss on his lips. They need this time together and to learn of each other's souls. She wants nothing more at this time than to hold him and him hold her as they fall asleep and surrender their conscious thoughts. She wants to be close to him and hold him, but he needs to hold onto something more than be held, so she turns her back and allows him to spoon into her, wrapping his arms around her. He kisses the back of her neck as she settles into his arms. She can hear his breathing slow as he drifts into sleep. It has been a long time since she has been held like this, if ever, and her eyes grow heavy with sleep as she surrenders her consciousness to sleep. This has been a night of discoveries for them, a beginning of things to come.
Leo's POV
Leo begins to awaken, and he feels her in his arms. He remembers the events of the evening before and the change in their relationship that resulted from them. He is so grateful that she is here with him; he has not slept so well in such a long time. Not since the last time she was here. He wants her here with him more often. He wants her here with him tonight and tomorrow night and maybe… forever. He kisses her head, and neck and she responds in her sleep by snuggling back into him.
Nature is calling, but he needs a few more minutes to hold her in his arms. Finally, he must get up and he slips out of bed and heads into the bathroom.
She's still asleep when he returns but has turned on her other side. They still have a bit of time until it's time to get up so he slips back into bed and pulls her back into to his arms, she must be aware of his arms going around her and she unconsciously moves further into his embrace. They have become so comfortable with each other after such a brief period of time, but I guess, they have known each other for years. She continues to sleep, and he closes his eyes and rests with her, his hands gently caressing her. He's thinking how lucky he is that she feels the same way about him that he feels about her.
A few minutes later the alarm goes off, as he reaches over silence it, she stirs and begins to wake up. He turns back and pulls her into an embrace. It's her turn to get up; she sits up and murmurs a good morning to him as she grabs her purse and heads into the bathroom.
She comes out of the bathroom and still finds him lounging in bed. She sits down and looks to his face; he's been waiting for her to return. He takes her hand and pulls her up and into his arms, not wanting to give this up to start the day yet, not wanting to give up the closeness. He hasn't had enough of this, not in a long time, even before Jenny left him. They had not done anything like this for many years, even before his real problems with alcohol. Jenny and he grew apart. He hadn't been there for a long time. He didn't know what he was missing until it was gone. He wants someone in his life again. He came close with Jordan, but it was soon obvious that there was a conflict of interest with their working relationship and their personal one, and deep down in his gut he knew Jordan was not the one for him.
But, Margaret… with Margaret it will be different, she will never put up with it; she is a strong woman. She would have to be, to put up with me all these years and still manage to have feelings for me. He breathes in the smell of her hair and kisses her neck and moves over her as he moves down, nibbling on her ear and then he works his way over to her mouth. He begins with some shallow kisses, playful but showing her that he wants more and she does too from the response he receives. The kisses become longer and deeper as her tongue flicks out to touch his, and slides deeply into his mouth. He is so hungry for her; over and over he tastes her and plays with her tongue. They both moan and are breathless, when they break apart. It's time to cool down, and they both know it. He continues to place small kisses on her neck, as she runs her hands over his back and leans into his kisses.
Leo needs to know, he moves over to whisper in her ear, "Will you come back and stay with me tonight?"
She shivers as she feels his warm breath against her ear, "Do you really want me to?"
He kisses her ear before he answers, "More than you know. I feel so safe and comfortable in your arms. I slept so much better with you here tonight and I just want to be close to you… if… you… want to that is," he adds.
She smiles, "Okay then, I know exactly what you mean, I want to be with you too, but I didn't want to push you, if you weren't ready."
He sighs in relief, "Well, now that you're here, I know what I've been missing and I think I want you here with me, whenever you want to be."
"Be careful, you may get more than you bargained for," she adds with a smirk.
"That's not possible. Do you want to leave some things here, for the times that you do stay over? You might not have to go home as often to get things. We can get you a toothbrush to leave here and whatever kind of shampoo and soap you like to use.
As he turns on is side to look at her, he opens a couple of buttons on the shirt she is wearing and says with a smirk, "Don't bother with sleepwear; I like you in my clothes? You took my breath away the first time you stayed here, and I realized you slept in my boxers."
"I know, I saw the look on your face last night when you thought I brought my own things to sleep in. You looked like I kicked your puppy. I knew what I was going to wear once I saw that look and I also remembered how you looked at me, in the morning, the last time I stayed here," she adds as she remembers that morning.
"Yeah, guilty as charged," as he smiles shyly, also remembering.
"Come here," she says, as she pulls him toward her. "I'll be here for you whenever you want me to be here. All you have to do is ask. Okay?" She gives him the sweetest kiss as she pulls away and walks into the bathroom to shower.
Leo decides this is his morning for getting the newspapers and ordering breakfast for the both of them. He hears the shower running and all he can do is picture her standing naked in his shower as the water runs off her body. He can feel some tightness returning to his lower region, with that picture in his mind. God, I better go out to the living room area and read the newspaper and take my mind off what's going on in there. Yeah, like that's going to happen now! Oh boy… this is going to be a fun, if every time I think about or look at her… I get excited.
Margaret's POV
Maybe I was rude and just assumed that it was all right to shower first, but he had that aroused look in his eyes, so one of them had to make the decision to get up and showered for the day. It may as well be her to keep them on their schedule. They have a bit of time yet to both get ready and eat and get to work on time.
Once she was out of the shower and dressed, Margaret was glad to find out that Leo had ordered breakfast for them, and he went to jump in for a quick shower. Just as he stepped into the living room, his hair still damp from the shower, there was a knock at the door announcing room service. They quickly ate their breakfast, and Leo called for his driver to meet him in ten minutes. They had just enough time to get in for his staff meeting on time.
Although they are rushed, he stops her at the door and pulls her in for a leisurely, soft, romantic kiss. She responds and waits for him to pull away. She smiles at him and lifts a hand to stroke his face and quickly brushes her lips over his before turning and walking out the door. As he locks the door, he takes her hand and they walk toward to the elevator and the day ahead of them.
End of Part One