TITLE: 3AM
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid
RATING: PG
CHARACTERS: Jaythen Talari, Kaai Dajani, T'narr Kresson
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM time-frame. (Jaythen is 12). Takes place hours after the events in "Kody" and will make much more sense if you've read that story first. T'narr's former master, Kaai, tries to comfort Jaythen after the events of the previous mission.
NOTE: You can find the story "Kody" on my website or on .
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. I make no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.
**This is story is part of a challenge I made to myself. My goal, to take the 12 songs titles from the Matchbox Twenty album "Yourself or Someone Like You" and write a story that goes with each song title (these are NOT song fics). In no particular order, the stories will be called: Real World; Long Day; 3AM; Push; Girl Like That; Back to Good; Damn; Argue; Kody; Busted; Shame and Hang. They will be a mix of Jaythen based stories, Yappy Obi (YO) stories and Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan based stories. I hope you enjoy!**
The wall chrono read 3am. Far too early – or too late - for anyone to be awake.
All should have been quiet in the small apartment.
The should-have-been quiet however was being intermittently interrupted by sounds that were trying much too hard to go unnoticed. And they hushed even further when the tall, lanky man moved from the shadows of the hall towards the couch. With a flick of an aged hand, he brought the illumination in the room to a gentle level and found a comfortable spot to park himself in his favorite chair.
Master Kaai Dajani cocked his head to the side. His long, graying-to-white hair glowed faintly in the soft light. He glanced over at the dark-haired boy on the couch who was not only curled into himself but was also trying desperately to hide his face.
"You're a little conspicuous, Jaythen."
A slight whispering tug in the force and Kaai lifted his eyes away from the boy to glance around the room. He caught the concealed presence of another, but one that he made no effort to expose. There was only concern in that presence so Kaai turned his attention back to the forlorn apprentice.
"Try to hide your worries and it'll only upset you more."
Moments passed, but eventually, slowly, the blanket fell from the young face and Jaythen's shadowed green eyes met Kaai's dark blues.
"This is about what happened on your mission," he began, noticing the tear tracks. "T'narr told me what transpired and that you've been having difficulties with the outcome. What happened Jaythen, doesn't make you or T'narr or Marcus bad people. Sometimes the only way out of a situation is one that ultimately results in more pain. And you are right in feeling what you do over that boy's death. For you, to feel any less than you do now…well, it just wouldn't be you."
Jaythen said nothing, but he listened. He always listened. Kaai's words made sense, but they did nothing to make the ache in his heart go away.
"We can't save everyone. We can only try our best. Even Jedi aren't the solution to every problem. In the end, you and Eryck are both well and your secret is still safe. And that is more important than you can understand at the moment. I can't begin to tell you what happens if word of your gift ever gets out."
At the mention of his 'gift' – his ability to read and receive the thoughts of both force and non-force users and to verbalize into those other minds – Jaythen did finally speak. His voice was desperate and miserable.
"Sometimes I hate that I can do it. I hate that I can read and feel everything that another person thinks. I hate that I can talk into their minds. It's hurtful and it doesn't seem much like a gift."
Kaai grunted agreement. "You're right. And perhaps 'gift' is the wrong word. It's an ability that few have, but I suspect those that do possess it have been given this…ability…for a reason."
Jaythen snorted and wiped the corner of the blanket over his eyes and replied with subtle sarcasm in his voice. "What reason it that? So I can hear the last thoughts of a tortured boy seconds before he dies?"
"Yes." Kaai returned bluntly. "There is a comfort in that, believe it or not. From the other end at least. Kody could have blocked you from his mind during that last minute of his life. It sounds like he had that capability. But he chose to allow you in. One might think he was searching for a final glimpse of calm and purpose before the end."
"Why would he think I could offer that? All I did was invade his mind and dig out horrible and violent memories of his past. I made him relive them all. And I got to know every last terrible detail. That's not calm or comforting. And I'm sure there's no purpose there, except pain. Master Kaai, I don't understand why I was the one given this ability. What makes me so special? I'm just a small, emotionally challenged kid that no one wanted until Master T'narr found me. That's what makes me worthy to carry the burden of this power?"
"Well, when you say it like that, it sure doesn't appear so, does it? Jaythen, I'll tell you something. The first time I met you, I knew you were different. I knew there was something about you, long before T'narr told me too many details. I felt the difference. That difference surrounded you in the force. You care about people in the most trying of times. Even when things look the worst, you give a damn about them. Someone so troubled as Kody and you reached him and he trusted you when he found belief in no other. That says a lot about what you are and why the force bestowed this ability to you."
"I think the force got it wrong. I promised Kody he would be safe. Then I broke that promise."
"You broke nothing, boy. It was the Tarkians who broke that promise and broke Kody."
"But I was the one who told him he would be safe!"
"And you assumed the leaders of the planet were honorable men - that they would honor their word."
"I never completely trusted them, but I was scared not to do what they wanted." Jaythen's voice tightened. "I let him die when I could have done something more to help him. I know I could have done more!"
"You know, your master used to blame himself for things he couldn't control too. When he was younger, he was always concerned with problems we had on our missions. Always figuring something he could have done differently would have made all the difference in the world. He was only seeing things from his point of view, the way he wanted things to be. So often there are dramatic differences between what we want and the reality of the situation. Eventually he understood better. But for a time, he was as stubborn as a bantha pup and more than determined to prove me wrong. You, Jaythen…you're not so stubborn as you are worrisome."
The boy chewed his bottom lip then readjusted his position on the couch to sit upright. He pulled the blanket around his shoulders and settled a deep, shuttered breath.
"You won't tell Master T'narr about this will you?"
"About our talk? Not if you don't want me to. Though if you want my best advice it would be unwise to hide this from him. He worries over you."
Jaythen nodded, knowing full well how concerned his master could get when it came to his physical and emotional well being. Often times it hurt to think of how much T'narr did worry, and sometimes, Jaythen even blamed himself for creating the mess to begin with.
"I don't like him to worry over me, Master Kaai. It makes me feel bad, like I've caused his anxiety."
"Don't go blaming yourself for that too. T'narr has needed something to worry about for a long time. He was too much on his own before you. Thinking he could do it all alone, not needing anyone. I even hounded on him for not keeping in touch with me at times. Leaving an old man to wonder how his former apprentice was doing. You came along and solved that problem for him very nicely, thank you."
Kaai moved from the chair to the couch, sitting close to T'narr's padawan. They were interconnected - the three of them. They were family. Which is why T'narr and Jaythen spent their Coruscant time in Kaai's quarters. It was their home away from Kembar Lune, once the Council had stripped them of their own quarters. Part of their petty punishment game for agreeing to allow the pair to work only select missions, and be based off of T'narr's home planet. Kaai had offered them his apartment. T'narr took his old bedroom and Jaythen was content with the couch. It gave them a familiar and restful place to stay and offered them time together.
In addition, the old master and the young apprentice had one key thing in common. T'narr Kresson. Though decades older than the Jaythen, Kaai had always connected with him easily, especially when it came to caring about T'narr's state of being.
"He only worries because he loves you, Jaythen."
"I know."
"But if you are that concerned, don't avoid the subject. Hide something and he'll find it. Trust me. It was hard to hide anything from him when he was a boy."
"Do you think I worry too much, Master Kaai?"
"You are you, Jaythen. If you try to change only because you want to alter how others perceive you, then you'll cease being the person we were attracted to in the first place. From what I've pieced together, you identified with Kody. It's why you feel so badly about what happened to him. He was tossed around as a child, taken advantage of and then left for nothing. Almost like a piece of garbage. You have a sense of what some of that feels like. And don't try to deny it. I can tell just by the look on your face. Think an old man doesn't keep sharp, huh?"
A small smile crept across the boy's face and he wiped a tissue under his leaky nose.
"Kody was a modified version of you. In the end, you found the safety you sought. Unfortunately there are probably more Kodys in the galaxy than there are Jaythens. The next time you stumble on one though, you'll remember this experience. And maybe you can make the ending a better one." An arm placed around the small shoulders, Kaai finished gently. "And now that it's past 3am, would you mind if this old man turned in? I'm not used to this middle of the night, early morning stuff. Unlike your younger generation, I actually need a full night's rest to get me though the next day. You okay with that? You'd better be okay with that."
The older Jedi was rewarded with a soft laugh as Jaythen said, "I'm okay with that."
"Good. I will see you in the morning. Well, technically, it is morning, but…ah, who cares. You know what I mean." Kaai stood and leaned over, taking Jaythen's face between his hands. "You're a good boy, Jaythen, just as you are. Don't ever think you need changing. Understand?"
There was a nod and Jaythen settled back into the couch. He pulled the blanket over him as Kaai dimmed the lights and left for his bedroom, but not before offering a wink to the broad dark-haired man leaning against the hallway wall. T'narr had watched the pair, hearing every word and feeling every emotion emanating from his padawan. They were strongly connected, he and Jaythen, but he'd kept his mind closed as he'd listened so that the boy wouldn't notice him eavesdropping.
He opened his mind now, but Jaythen was already succumbing to sleep. T'narr tossed a look back at Kaai, while nudging him with his mind just before the older Jedi vanished into his bedroom. He mouthed a silent 'thank you' and smiled at his former master.
Turning back to Jaythen, T'narr stood a distance away until he heard assured sounds of sleep coming from the couch. Only then did he venture back to his own bedroom, content that for the next few hours at least, he could allow himself to worry a little less about his apprentice.
THE END